A mom who loves dad jokes

in funny •  11 months ago  (edited)

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A ham sandwich walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender says "sorry we don't serve food here."

My favorite joke ever


You know, I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went, then it dawned on me.


How to summon a dad

-Make a circle out of power tools
-Place a pair of socks inside sandals in the middle of the summoning circle
-Chant "Hi Hungry, I'm dad" over and over
-Touch a thermostat


What’s Forrest Gump’s password?
1forrest1


You heard the rumor going around about butter? Nevermind, I shouldn't spread it.


If a child refuses to take a nap, is he resisting a rest?


Why did the Clydesdale give the pony a glass of water?
Because he was a little horse!


What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!


How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator? You will see one later and one in a while


Why do bananas need sunscreen? Because they peel.


Thanks for explaining the word “many” to me.
It means a lot.


Robber: STOP THE DAD JOKES OR I'M GOING TO SHOOT YOU!
Dad: face turning red
Robber: WHAT?!
Dad: HI GONNA SHOOT YOU, I'M DAD

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The first one was the best indeed :D

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It’s been my favorite joke for so long! Cracks me up!

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