My NaNoWriMo Update

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Starting With the Most Dangerous Writing App

The last few days, writing for NaNo has been a bit of a struggle. As I am reading my fellow freewritemadness writers post - that is what seems to happen right around this time. @byn seems to be the only one who is flying - actually, she is already finished with the official word count requirement of 50,000 words.

Even such a prolific writer like @felt.buzz has been feeling the writing slowing a bit. A long project is quite different from just writing what comes to mind.

For me, I set out to write a semi-personal story about a long bike trip. I was going to mix fiction and non-fiction and turn out a coming of age story.

Instead, I ended up writing about early childhood memories. No matter what I set out to write, boom, suddenly I was back to that theme.

So, I decided to go for it and right now, I am not even looking for a story but to just write what I can remember.

And here comes the shocker (for me). I don't remember. There are so many things I remember little glimpses and snippets, but so many big holes. Names, relations, who, where, why... All gone.

There is part of me that hopes that as I am writing, some of it will come back - but there is a much bigger part that feels that this is an incentive, a warning, a mandate to reach out to my siblings and get together and tell these stories to each other.

One of the things I am remembering and writing about is the regular visits of the old aunts. Many times, family relations were talked about and connections recounted but we, I, didn't pay attention. While they were still part of a tradition of passing on the stories, keeping history alive by telling the stories, we were already part of the generation that is not interested in the old. Or felt that it can be looked up later.

Now, we don't memorize things since we have the internet to find the information we need. In school, in the beginning, we still had to memorize poems. I have forgotten them all. But my father was able to recite whole poems at the drop of the hat.

At this point, I have written about 20,000 words and am even a little bit ahead of the NaNoWriMo count, yet I feel like I am falling behind.

Today, I will see if I can wrap my head around this again. I have to remind myself that I am can write whatever I want to. It is my story after all.

My Freewrite that never got around to the prompt I wanted to write about:

Today, I am going to start writing listening to some beats - something I have to look up but it is supposed to put you into a deep state of relaxation. And concentration. We will see. My attempt to write in a coffeehouse failed miserably yesterday. I couldn't tune out the voice of a German Woman sitting on the table close to where our group was sitting and really couldn't get into the writing. She kept calling me to her with her voice and the outrage in her voice.
Was it that I am drawn to that because I am writing about my childhood and the voices are coming up? Calling to me? Or is it that I always have been used to silence. I wasn't the one listening to Music all day. My sister had a tape recorder and she would splice tapes together to get the recording she wanted. I don't even know how she recorded. I am pretty sure it didn't have a radio build in. You had to do that separately. She also had some records? Or was that my brothers. I am a bit distressed to realize how little I remember. What the f....? How come we have so little in the memory bank. But that could be just me. Everything else in the world remembers LOL
I thought I had a good memory and then, I find that I don't. But I also stuffing this head of mine full of new things. Every day, I am learning. Every day, I am curious. So, I am curious where this NaNo WriMo is taking me. And now, I wrote a few hundred words that have nothing to do with my story...

This is the music:
Music for Deep Focus and Concentration with Binaural Beats, Brainwave Music for Studying

I found this thanks to this post by @ntowl

I will give writing with this a try today...

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Here are the participants:

@aislingcronin
@carolkean
@kaelci
@improv
@bennettitalia
@stinawog
@byn
@mariannewest
@felt.buzz
@ntowl
@Botefarm
@KAERpediem
@Kipswolfe
@ireenchew

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Thank you for your candour, Marianne. I think we're all finding it tough right now! Just have to keep pressing forward through this slump. ❤

Thank you!! I know we can do this - cheering each other on :)

I have never tried to write a long manuscript regarding my past, but I already know I would experience significant gaps. Some gaps have even been filled by dreams. I think we retain what we need to to move on to the next phase. I haven't purposefully attempted to contrive a writing environment with music, I can inly speculate that I would battle distractions endlessly until I learned how to filter them away. Keep it up. I enjoy the process I am observing with the participants. #NovMadFan

Thank you! How is the healing coming along?

I think it's moving along as expected. I'm already tired of the brace, cpm and bed, but overall, I am being taken good care of, so no complaints. :) thanks for asking.

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I am so happy that you are being taken care off. And I know how hard it is to slow down if you are an active person!

Thank you, @mariannewest. Yes, I knew I'd chafe against these restraints. I keep reminding myself that soon it will be a memory and hopefully my mobility will be that much better!

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Yes!! and less pain!! Look at the bright side - you can surf Steemit LOL

looking forward to less pain, for sure. 🤗

Fascinating question:
I couldn't tune out the voice of a German Woman ...She kept calling me to her with her voice ... Was it that I am drawn to that because I am writing about my childhood and the voices are coming up? Calling to me?
I can't even imagine learning a new language and rarely hearing my native English anymore, so that if I did overhear it, the familiar but long-ago words would have a pull, no matter what the words were saying.

@byn has written her 50,000 words already? Go Byn!!

I'm hung up all day on a silly issue that could wait until Dec. 1 which is when revisions should begin. If Germany as a nation didn't exist until 1871, did the English in the early 1800s refer to Bavarians and Prussians as "Germans" and if they spoke what we refer to as German, was it known back then as German? STOP IT Carol, just WRITE the STORY....

That is right!! Just right the damn story and research later :)

I am not attempting to write too much at the moment.
I have caught up with @felt.buzz and his fab story. My november task is to read all the entries. To give the writers the attention they deserve is an commitment in itself (which you maintain so well with the free write already), I couldn't imagine trying to take it on as well as suppport everyone. Well done.
and as for memory. I have worked in the past in dementia units. Those oldies remember everything from the early day with so much clarity that they are often reliving it. It is the recent stuff that they don't recall. Rest assured your recall sounds normal. Chronicling them will no doubt draw in other stuff too. I find a lot of my memories have been reinforced in photos or in the retelling over the years. It is funny when you get together with family and they have different pieces of the same experience.

I used to record and make mix tapes, from the radio cassette recorder. Simpler times for sure. I found my high school leaving year book today, and showed my daughter. She was shocked that our phone numbers and addresses were listed. I said,
"it was before email how else would people stay in touch."
She couldn't comprehend it. Either could I to a degree, the world is so different.
As for accents...
I am learning from our south African steemians to hear that accent and not vibe my mother in it. I think it helps that I am in a much better relationship with her now too. But sounds and smells in a cafe can be quite the trigger. Good or ... challenging. Go with it, a cathartic process may evolve, and recording your memories in the block chain will no doubt prove to be a precious resource in years to come.

Thanks for sharing the process of your writing.

Thank you so much for stopping by!! It is always a treasure to have a visit from you.

Yes, I think pictures do help a lot. I did read somewhere that most of our memories are false anyways LOL. So, for all I know, I am writing a fabulous fiction story 🤪

I have made plans with my sister to record a podcast. I think this whole memory thing has been brewing in my head for a while. Also realizing how different my upbringing was from my grandkids. If you think your life was different from your daughters - my life was almost like I grew up 2 centuries ago LOL

Germany after the war was such a different place from America after the war. When I was born (4th child) my mom got her first washing machine. We didn't have a car or TV - because hardly anyone had those things. Anyway, our podcast is going to be called Growing up in post-war Germany...

Thank you for supporting the NaNoWriters!!

I really look forward to hearing your podcast. I think many steemians will be interested. A number of steemfesters have been very moved / effected visiting locations (including Auschwitz) this week. Your insights will be valuable for many people. Lived experience and the legacy of those experiences make events more real. It keeps them relevant rather than relegated to history where we distance ourselves from it.
Thank you for doing the podcast.
The German experience has not been popularly considered in the past. I think book thief was significant because it placed the protagonist on the other side of the narrative.

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IMHO, the gaps are definitely a call for you to get together with your siblings to refresh your memory. They might even talk about some things that you never knew. It is important to me to pass down information about past generations to my kids; our roots, the stories of good times and bad, etc. in hopes they will do the same with their kids and beyond. I have it all written down for them also. This resident cat is your #NovMadFan and I am rooting for you Marianne. : )

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