Day 558: 5 Minute Freewrite: Wednesday - Prompt: comic
This is the third installment of a freewrite series I am apparently writing. They were all written for @mariannewest daily freewrite challenge and a link to today's challenge is provided below.
Part One
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@owasco/freewrite-weekend-freewrite-2-22-2019
Part Two
https://steemit.com/freewrite/@owasco/day-531-5-minute-freewrite-thursday-prompt-filth
Oh this guy is a regular comic, real funny guy. "Dead nettle tea." What the fuck is that? Dude probably goes and picks some weeds to make that crap, weeds that have been pooped on by his chickens, his damn dog and by him for all I know. He does have that composting toilet over on my side of his property, next to his compost pile. What does he do with all that shit? I don't ask because I definitely don't want to know.
But I take him up on the offer of tea, because I really want to see what is in his house. Maybe that way I can find some evidence to finally get rid of him. Get a nice older couple in that house instead of this asshole, a couple with no kids, no pets, no compost piles, no chickens, no trumpets, no weeds, no eyesores of untrimmed wildflowers and no bothering me.
He looks shocked when I say "Sure you fucker. I'll have some tea. But not that dead nettle shit haha very funny I'll dead nettle you you bastard." He makes a look like he wants to take it back, like he didn't really expect me to say yes. I'll cook his goose good after this cup of tea. Straight to the cops with whatever I find in there.
I'm expecting filth in there. I'm expecting a weed farm. I'm expecting mad science experiments, stolen goods, roaches, fleas, and rats.
Instead I find art. The place is like a museum. I am swept away by the orderly beauty of his home. We actually get to talking over a cup of earl grey tea and the conversation turns to a problem of mine that has nothing to do with him and everything to do with my asshole.
I leave with a tiny jar of ointment for my asshole, dead nettle ointment. Good for hemorrhoids.
This is my entry to @mariannewest's freewrite challenge https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-558-5-minute-freewrite-wednesday-prompt-comic
The image is mine of a painting I am housing for Chris Randolph, arteest. The shadow in the middle of it is mine, because I am not a photographer.
I got a good chuckle out of your writeup. Great descriptions of what you thought would be in his house.
I would have thought the guy was a hoarder in his house...what a nice surprise.
Painting is unique ...sort of reminds me of a Picasso. I like the colors as well.
I just love to freewrite. I usually set sail without a destination and end up somewhere surprising. Thank you for enjoying this one.
That painting is HUGE and I love it.
I use a lot of details from that painting as images. The artist is storing her larger paintings at my house. I've got the walls to hang them. Lucky me!
I'm hoping for a @dustbunny fluff on that upvote of mine. I don't know if my pointing out the ones I want to fluff is kosher, but there it is.
Thanks @owasco. I have @dustsweeper on the job. 😊
Dead Nettle Tea! @crescendoofpeace
can tell you more about that. She's been PLANTING nettles. *Eep!
Fun story!
Great expectations! * I'm expecting a weed farm. I'm expecting mad science experiments, stolen goods, roaches, fleas, and rats.* And great surprise twist in the end bwa ha ha! (I couldn't resist.)
I was as surprised as my character was.
This is the coolest thing. I reread the first two (first one was a weekend freewrite). I see I am, without being conscious of this, alternating voices. And the characters have freaking characters. They have distinctive ways of speaking, one is crude, passionate and swears a lot, and the other is self-righteous, erudite and hasn't said a single curse word yet.
SO MUCH FUN TO DO!
I can not tell you how long it took me to get your pun. I have never had an ear for them, but I wrote a haiku a couple weeks ago that was oozing with them. and I couldn't resist either!
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