Become a non-smoker... not as easy as it sounds (5 Minute Freewrite)
Today's freewrite is, once again, a very personal one. This time it is all about one of my vices, namely of smoking.
Why am I smoking? That's actually a really good question. It started back in school when the "cool" kids all were smoking. Of course, as a teenager, you want to be amongst those cool kids. I remember my first cigarette was really hurting me. I coughed 5 minutes after just one pull on the cigarette. But I did repeat that until the end, just for being amongst that supposedly elite. And I did it again and again. I realized already a long time ago that this was one of the most stupid things I ever did - because up until now, I am addicted to them.
Did I ever try to quit smoking? I stopped counting my tries. I tried nicotine chewing gum, spray, patches, nothing did help. I tried also some other fancy stuff like those dangerous e-cigarettes (they are more dangerous than smoking normal cigarettes, even without nicotine) to trick my body, without success.
Do I know it is stupid to smoke? Yes, for sure. Do I know I am killing myself? You bet! Will I try again to quit smoking? No, becaue I don't need to quit - I need to become a non-smoker. I just have to win the fight with that monster in my head. Up until now, the monster is a lot stronger than I am. But I am fighting it every day until I succeed.
To quote Oscar Wilde ‘I can resist anything except temptation’
but joking aside I understand smoking is a very difficult habit to kick.
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Thanks for the quote and your understanding.
I know exactly how you feel. I used to be a smoker for about 10 years and I was trying to quit during half of that time. It's so hard to quit even though I knew all the bad things smoking was doing to me. It was one of the most challenging things I have done in my life. I sincerely hope you succeed and become a non-smoker, too.
thanks. I know someday I will win the fight against that monster. Because I need to.