Ducks / Anatre - 5 Minute Freewrite Day 76 [ENG/ITA]

in #freewrite2 years ago (edited)

The laughter of the ducks! They mock me, they haunt me! Here they are, the bitches: they glance at me with the bizarre and oblique movements of those snooty heads, while I'm walking fast near their thousand canals. Have you noticed how there are always, somehow, in this crappy city, little rivers, canals, ditches, manholes, puddles, from which an inquisitive duck can emerge at any moment? It seems as if the master plan of this asshole place was designed by them! Cursed canals full of cursed judging ducks! And as if this were not enough, they also fly, the bastards! I would not be safe even if I moved up the hill. By now, as I leave the house, I can immediately glimpse their heads rise with arrogance, their tottering small steps hoist them on the edge of the canals. They want to know everything I'm doing, where I'm going, with whom I'm meeting.
When I say something to someone, as soon as I venture to open my mouth, they laugh: Quack! Quack! Quack!
When I make some unusual gesture, they laugh: Quack! Quack! Quack!
When I slipped on the ice: Quack! Quack! Quack!
When I left the shop with the new coat: Quack! Quack! Quack!
When I asked Mandy to marry me, by the river: Quack! Quack! Quack!
Now they read also my thoughts. I can't formulate a project, a program, that immediately: Quack! Quack! Quack!
Damn ducks! One day I'll have my uncle Jermaine lend me the shotgun and, I swear on what I have most sacred, I'll find you all one by one, and I'll riddle you with shots, so you'll stop mocking me! Do you understand? I'll make a massacre!

Quack! Quack! Quack!

Word count: 288

DSCN0083.JPG
A Muscovy Duck near the Drau river, in Villach (Austria). She doesn't laugh, in fact in Italian she's called Anatra Muta (Mute Duck).

[Italian translation]

Le risate delle anatre! Mi deridono, mi perseguitano! Eccole, le stronze: mi occhieggiano con i movimenti bizzarri e obliqui di quelle testine supponenti, mentre passo veloce vicino ai loro mille canali. Avete notato come ci siano sempre, in qualche modo, in questo schifo di città, dei fiumiciattoli, dei canali, dei fossi, dei tombini, delle pozzanghere, dalle quali può spuntare in qualunque momento un'anatra indagatrice? Sembra quasi che il piano regolatore di questo buco di culo lo abbiano disegnato loro! Maledetti canali piene di maledette anatre giudicanti! E come se non bastasse, volano anche, le bastarde! Non sarei al sicuro neanche se mi trasferissi in cima alla collina. Ormai non posso uscire di casa che posso intravvedere le loro teste alzarsi con arroganza, i loro passetti caracollanti issarle sull'orlo dei canali. Vogliono sapere tutto quello che sto facendo, dove sto andando, con chi mi sto incontrando.
Quando dico qualcosa a qualcuno, appena mi azzardo ad aprire la bocca, ridono: Qua! Qua! Qua!
Quando faccio qualche gesto insolito, ridono: Qua! Qua! Qua!
Quando sono scivolato sul ghiaccio: Qua! Qua! Qua!
Quando sono uscito dal negozio con il cappotto nuovo: Qua! Qua! Qua!
Quando ho chiesto a Mandy di sposarmi, in riva al fiume: Qua! Qua! Qua!
Ormai mi leggono anche nel pensiero. Non posso formulare un progetto, un programma, che subito: Qua! Qua! Qua!
Maledette anatre! Un giorno di questi mi mi farò prestare la doppietta dallo zio Germano e, giuro su quanto ho di più sacro, vi scoverò tutte, una ad una, e vi impallinerò, così avrete finito di deridermi! Avete capito? Farò una strage!

Qua! Qua! Qua!

Conteggio parole: 267


This post is part of the 5 Minute Freewrite Contest.

This is also done with The Most Dangerous Writing App and only a little editing for typos.

All images are my own unless otherwise cited.

Thanks for reading! If you liked, please let an upvote, a comment or a resteem.

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Thig is an amazjng writeup. Enjoyed it.

I'm glad you enjoyed! :D

Bad ducks laughing at you!!

They're heartless, lol!

I like the alliteration of the phrase "judging ducks".

Thank you! I guess I see English language ad a tool box, since it's all strange and new for my non-anglophone perspective ;)

Crazy ducks!
I also learned the Italian word for Quack.

Crazy ducks...or crazy protagonist? ;)
Italian can be very tricky...in English you can use "quack" as a noun or as a verb, but in Italian "qua" is only the onomatopoeia for the duck call, if you want to say "the duck quacks" or "the quack of the duck", you must use the verb "starnazzare" or the noun "starnazzo".
By the way, the word "qua" is homograph and homophone to one of the words for "here" (you can either use "qua" or "qui"), so if you put "Qua! Qua! Qua!" on Google Translate you obtain "Here! Here! Here!"
Crazy, complicated language, it isn't? ;)

They are so complicated, langauages. It sounds like a similar idea to coin-coin, which is what French ducks say.

I like the idea the ducks are shouting Here! Here! Here! in Italy. Attention seekers!

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ahahahah no vabbè porette xD hai la fobia delle anatre?

Io no, ma l'io narrante di questo freewrite evidentemente sì! ;)

Tante volte chi scrive mette un po' del suo nei suoi testi, pensavo fosse tipo una tua fobia xD

Hi, dropping by from freewrite... You don't seem to like ducks very much, lol. I didn't realize they watch us humans. I think they are cute. Don't shoot them, please!

Don't worry, if I ever take up a rifle, probably I would end up shooting my foot!
It's a pure fictional freewrite about a person with persecution manias

Oh my! That escalated quickly!!! :) Great story!

I love the bizarre stories with quick escalations! Thank you!

I like how your typical puns are spread in the story and I can recognize your unique sense of humor ..well done!

I'm the PUNisher! Ahahahah!

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