Spider -5minutefreewrite (x3)

For https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/weekend-freewrite

This nice property has over 150 different animals, including a Malaysian tiger. And the spiders...

Well, the spiders were the best. When we first saw the property, we were blown away. How had they cultivated this space to keep such beautiful beasts so well-fed? There were hand and a half long iridescent spiders, and tiny red spiders and and and. And no insects bothering us. Of course the spiders ate all of those, but once they were all gone, what did the spiders eat?

And that's when our real estate agent exploded out of his human-suit. 8 long, hairy legs pierced the sides and Vince was immediately wrapped up in what we were talking about. Spiderwebs. We were talking about spiderwebs. It was all-consuming. The man-spider, that is. It even ate his skin. But me, it saved my skin and is now living inside me. In fact, I am it. Sorry, young reader, I'm only telling you this because I'm about to eat you and it's such an interesting story, I felt I had to share it.

Mmm. You were delicious. I'll keep you as my new suit and eat this old one now. A bit stringy. You know, common myth: I don't just suck out your tender insides. I can, but as you can tell, I don't always.

She always thought that her kisses were the best. That was why she called them spider kisses. "I'm going to give you my patented spider kisses now!" She'd shriek, and she'd assume that we were running away playfully. But the truth was, none of us wanted to be sucked dry. She was the first of the person spiders. Now almost everyone is a person spider, and our children have to cobble together skins to wear from discarded old skins. I can't believe how wasteful we were in the first years. We ate skins like we would never run out of them, and in our defense, it did seem like there were just a lot of skins. But poor petri has to just wear people legs like pants, and Sylvania and Frommer are sharing a skin like paupers. It's hard being the younger generation. I know it's the fashion to call them lazy, but I see them working harder for less than we ever had to.

Of course, some of them are rebellious and don't even wear people even if they could. Chuck is just a naked spider all the time, and it's like, come on, grow up, be respectful. We worked hard so that you could have everything you need in life to succeed, and all you wanna do is spin webs and records. And is that even music? You sound like a broken cricket.

The buzzing drove him crazy. Drove him crazy? Drove ME crazy! I've been listening to those mosquito sounds ever since I got him that recorder for his birthday. Never have I ever regretted so much indulging one of my offspring. Even when Crystal wanted that winter ski trip and I broke 6 legs, I didn't regret that as much as I regret giving him the capacity to make the whole web vibrate just enough to keep us awake all night.

Speaking of which, there goes the baby.