Cancer -5minutefreewrite
For https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-277-5-minute-freewrite-monday-prompt-cancer
Fuckity fuck cancer... it's not just cancer, though... All the things that kill. Fuck death. Man, I think I hate death because it keeps it a little more distant. But really, it makes me so so so sad. I imagine losing Lochlan, the dog, Stina, my parents, I imagine other people losing me. I imagine other people losing people I don't even know, and it makes me all so sad. I imagine death, and it's so frustrating and awful.
Yes, some people take solace in the idea of an afterlife, but if I'm really being honest with myself, it seems clear to me that this is a survival mechanism for people. This is people inventing something so that they don't have to deal with the raw awfulness of oblivion. People say, "if it's oblivion, it's not bad or good, because it's nothing." but of course that's bad. I want something. I want to keep having something. I can understand and imagine a time when someone would prefer nothing to something. But I don't think that's true... or that that's what most people want when they come to the moment of having to accept nothing.
No one should have to die. No one. No animal, plant, person. It's just aweful. I mean awful.
I know, circle of life and all that, but I love life, and I don't want to stop experiencing it, and I don't want to stop experiencing it with all the people around me!
I don't want death either. My little dog is 13 and has congestive heart failure. He still wants his walks, but eats less, requires lot's of pee breaks and we beg him to eat. Just the dog, but a long-time member of our family. I can't even imagine losing a child.
I like how you wrote aweful and then awful, like there's a spiritual aspect to death--full of awe, similar to birth, and even if there's nothing on the other side, those people left behind are touched by the spirit of that person's/animals love in action.
@kimberlylane That's a wonderful interpretation of a typo! Thank you! I also agonize over what it will be like to lose our little pup, probably when our son is around 8 years old... UGH.
I loved this freewrite. Every word. My favorite lines:
I have never heard that argument, nor its response. That's really something to think about. I guess nothing would be bad, if you wanted something. And why should we want something, if it's really nothing afterall. Wouldn't that just be egocentric of us? Why love at all?
Well, I'm glad you'd miss your kid and dog and wife. And we'd miss you too. So don't die!
@littlescribe I hope no one ever dies.
Beleive me, if there is life, there'll surely be death, its made to compensate each other and keep things balanced.
Its Asia its called the Ying and the Yang, each tradition with his own.
I love life, and I don't want to stop experiencing it, and I don't want to stop experiencing it with all the people around me! AGREED!
@eyedreemit Right!? We should all be working our hardest to keep death away!
Fucking symbolic thought, that make us think about death even when death isn't present...
Myself, I'm rather fatalistic. Everything has its end...I'm dealing with it, no reason to despair too much...
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@marcoriccardi
I know I can't stop death... but I WANT TO.