Hardened
Staccato bursts of gunfire cracked through the air as Janie crossed the street. She quickened her stride. Only four blocks from the train station to her apartment, but at night the neighborhood turned into a war zone.
Broken bottle shards lay in the sections of grass that lined the sidewalks. Whoever planted those seeds never came back to water them, so the green turned to brown in pollution-tinged rain.
“Spare some change, sister? I need to eat.”
She clenched her teeth as she walked past the man sitting on the steps of the boarded-up funeral home.
Maybe she had turned callous. She didn't care. Her feet hurt and she wanted to go home.
Inspired by the 5 Minute Freewrite Prompt - Callous posted by the lovely @mariannewest!
Calluses are a form of scar tissue.
We form scar tissue to protect the tender flesh.
Calluses can grow on hearts as well.
I think of this often as I pass the homeless on the streets. There's only so much of me I can yet afford to lose to softness. So I do not. Not even as much as I can yet afford.
Once you start, there is no ending.
And my heart is callused all over.
Truth.
Truth scars us.
This is a true story, so I guess it is callous indeed.
This is beautiful. Seriously. And calluses can grow, but acknowledging the fact that they exist makes it possible to start chipping through the hardened parts until you rediscover the soft heart underneath. I wish you the best. <3
Thank you. There seems to be more hope for me than it seemed in quite some time. I must say that I resigned myself to living alone, at this point.
Removing the calluses is hard, because even if you want to, they stand in the way. I think the real hardship lies elsewhere though, that all those memories of scarring pain make it so that we simply do not wish to remove the protective tissue.
That paints an incredibly vivid scene in just over 100 words.
Nice job!
I'm a big fan of your creative-writing @ellievallie! The way you put creativity, emotions, energy ~ gives your writeup a whole new level of aliveness, it creates a reality bubble in my mind where scene starts playing out, which somehow reflects my own reality of parallel lifetimes. ☺
P.s: If I would be living at place near you, I would have asked you to teach me to write like you. I would gladly attend your class on English speaking, hehe... ☺💚
Reality bubble!
That's so good. I think you already know the best parts of English!
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You need to write a book about this girl, your writing is so eloquent and direct I love it 😊
Thank you!
Someday the little freewrite fragments can expand into full stories!
Nice story small and short but perfect story @ellievallie
Thank you so much friend!
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Great freewrite! It sounds like she may be in the same neighborhood as mine, lol! I like the idea of them expanding. I think there is a little universe growing out of a house prompt or something. It's such a beautiful organic way for individual's creativity to feed and enmesh. The freewrite @mariannewest started has boosted my creativity immensely in so short a time!
Mine too!
It's such a beautiful thing, this tiny little prompt that gets in your mind and tells you to make something of it.
@mariannewest is truly wonderful!
Excellent scene. Great rhythm to your writing - it flows really well for the reader.
Thank you, that is a seriously wonderful compliment!
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This story inspires me and motivates me..... Nice short but story with a big message!! Keep steeming @ellievallie
Thank you!
Well done!! You are such a good writer!
today's prompt: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-76-5-minute-freewrite-prompt-ducks
Your daily inspirations definitely help with that!
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Powerful and effective story. Great effort for the free write. Loved it.
Thank you!
I've said this before, but I never actually do a proper freewrite. That's why I always put that it's "inspired" by the prompt. About five minutes of writing, but it's always edited until I get the glimpse of a fragment of a story that I want to post.
I'm happy you liked it!
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And I should have used your method and edited my comment. Lol, 'free right'. But yes, your method makes sense. And even to produce what you did in so short a time is good going. Editing always helps too (note to self - take your own advice).
You should give the #freewrite a try if you get a chance, I never regret when I do!
I have been meaning to. I'm doing a 30 day writing challenge at the moment, so I will try to incorporate it into that. In the meantime I read through other's freewrites for inspiration.
Good luck with your challenge!