Day 577: 5 Minute Freewrite: Monday - Prompt: window
The house was greatly to be admired -- a great, big beautiful building of marble, full of large and spacious rooms and doubtless many fine things, as houses of that type usually have. It was so large it might have been mistaken for a temple of worship; not even the windows in the upstairs disturbed that impression.
The front was ample, and its white columns gleamed with marble and even a touch of gold -- perhaps good brass, but in the bright morning sun, it was as good as gold. Perhaps it was meant to recall the Parthenon, which thought came to me as I beheld a beautiful young woman come to a gilded window, upstairs.
Her dress was of the finest cotton, as perfectly white as the house itself. Against the shining canvas of this dress there were stunning jewels, flashing red and gold upon the pendant, green and gold around her perfectly pink-pearl neck, and upon her hands. There were even, in her golden hair, jewels of blue and white -- doubtless, sapphires and diamonds. She might perhaps had been mistaken for the goddess Iris, arisen with the sun, but for her face.
Her beautiful face wore an expression of sorrow that nothing that she possessed, not upon her lovely figure, and not upon the vast lands her new husband owned, could ever assuage. Her jeweled hand pressed against the window suddenly, much as a prisoner puts his hand wishfully upon the bars of his cell.
I passed on, greatly affected. There are things that can be admired, and yet not envied.
Photo Credit: Chris Brignola, on Unsplash
I like this descriptive writing style!
I wonder if she's feeling trapped inside her place and longing for freedom. Perhaps happiness does not lie only in material possession, that's the moral I get from this short fiction.
Thank you, @macchiata -- I left the question open as to what the problem was, but yes, I did mean to make the contrast between great material possession and actual happiness. "All that glitters is not gold," too... remember that the gilding MIGHT be brass, passing for gold in good light...
Beautifully put!
I just thoroughly enjoyed reading this. I'm making my rounds now to catch up on reading this weeks freewrites. I love how descriptive you were with beautiful details. Your writing gave me a clear visual in my mind. A great example that material things and wealth cannot console a wounded heart. Congrats also for such a wonderful curation response to such a beautiful submission. ♥
Thank you so much, @deepsouthpiddlin! Something that I am working on as a writer is descripion -- fine detail. I'm great at dialogue but I really have to practice description, and this was a real effort, especially under the time constraints. Thank you also for your congrats on the curation response! Apparently a whole bunch of whales must have rolled up on this freewrite-- I just thank God, because I didn't expect that to happen!
I am reminded of a Bronte, several of them. That's a very lovely picture you have painted for us. Thank you.
You're welcome -- although Bronte was not consciously in my mind as I was writing, I can see the resemblance, now that you mention it!