Still, there's only so much you can do to control an outcome and how things unfold. You can plan as much as you want and you can work as hard as you can but, in the end, if it's meant for you, it will happen even if you run away from it; if it's not for you, it won't happen even if you chase it.
Having that said, I think it's a miz of both. I like to consider myself as a chill person and at the same time, I underestand that planning can only take you so far. You need a bit of luck, sincronicity and to listen to the signs from around you.
Those are probably the two main reasons I didn't quite plan ahead moving to Austria last year.
If you followed my blog last year, you might be familiar with how I went to live in Austria for 3 months last year. The plans I had about staying there long term and start a life there and the goals I had about studying and geting a job there.
Well, in the end I was too chill. I didn't plan ahead anything, I didn't bring enough money to be comfortable during my job hunting and most importantly, while I was there I never did anything to get a job, or actually have a routine and a normal life there. It was just like long term holidays. I met a girl and I was with her but that also didn't work out, mostly because of me and my lack of drive to actually stay there.
It's been a year since that. Well, almost. I left to Austria in March 2019.
It's been a year of that, and now I'm leaving to Berlin in less than 2 weeks. But this time I'm prepared, perhaps a bit too much to the point where I'm overthinking things and I'm stressing more than what I should. The bright side is that this gives me confidence. I researched about universitites there, languages courses, types of Visas and the requirements. All that it's missing is that I fall in love with Berlin.
I need to love Berlin. I get bored too fast and everything gets old quickly for me so, in order to stay in a city, it needs to be the city for me. The good thing is that this time I don't have to worry about uncertainty, I just have to be mindful about fulfilling my plans as best I can, provided I get some help from father destiny.
If I don't love Berlin, I won't stay, that's a fact but, something tells me I am going to love every inch of it. My hunches are usually right, I trust them, which is why I change my plans so easily and so quickly if I receive specific signs. I hope I'm right and I end up loving this city.
I'm already in a job hunting oddysey. If I want to, I can already enrole in a language course there and do the paperwork to get my student visa. I already researched and this city holds so many places, experiences and events I know I want to live so, overall, it's looking great, perhaps excellent.
I know people there, in fact I have family there - something I wasn't aware of until a few days ago - and there's a girl I'm looking forward to meet again and see what happens between us (perhaps I'll tell you a bit more about her on another post)... These are positive factors for my potential life there, but they are not the most important ones. I believe that to be fully happy - if that exists - you have to be in peace with yourself and, place you live in and people that surrounds you, that's why loving Berlin is the most important piece of this puzzle. But damn, if you met this girl you'd know why I'm looking forward to meet her again.
Putting things in perspective...
I feel confident about this, I trust myself and my choices. I know that, unlike last year, this year it might be the one where I give my life a 180° change for good.
I will keep you updated on that one, dear readers :)
As always, here's a picture of the setting where I'm writing this. Do you like my office?