RE: The Abysmal Biscuit (Finish The Story #50 Entry)
Well I must admit this lil' eep right now: I had helped bring this to late to the lovely folks of @curie, they had done the magic of reviewing the post and determining it. So I just wanted to mention my minute role in all this, not that this shall count for anything~
La foto / pictura (The photo / picture): Okay how can I dare describe this one now... Well I must say that the taking of this foto/pictura (photo/picture) was done very stylistically and with a burning passion in it. I can see the manipulation and saturation of white hues (designated as light which contingently relates to the prompt). But also the overbearing browness like this was some weird brown black and white version of a foto (photo), but easily suggesting of wood if I had not noticed the texture and shine of them. So really, an awesomely taken foto (photo) framed here that I want to jump into and live the world of Brown and white hues in my leisure~
La filosofía (The philosophy): As I had just whispered as a church mice to the @curie staff, I particularly like the cannibalism theme going on here (which was first noted by @raj808, good on him~). Also the usage of the dark to transition from the conscious realms to the unconscious realms which truly control the Subject - showcasing the façade her consciousness been and just a mere puppet for the unconsciousness to pass through daily life. Especially with the old man that acts as the innocent party, this Other, in the boxcar she is in as you continue to write his dialogue as near childish or unsuspecting (or morally one-eighty to regular societal functions). Yet this story doesn't then show the triumph of light but reveals the entire time that the Unconsciousness has torn away and reconstructed a new Consciousness. Especially helps she was blind to it and formed new desires that deleted the old ones, showcasing some transition of the Unconsciousness as it begins to ease itself with some pressure escaping. Yet truly, this isn't a story of innate cannibalism, but a small throw-away story of how conscious orders can easily be suspended at a moments notice by the unconscious order.
La forma (The form): Really I got to give proper credit to the fact that you not only mirror but took a dark turn with it all as the train got submerged in darkness. Indeed, the light doesn't purify the acts done but, regardless of how the material world of the story cares about them two, had became their holy lights and them seeing again as their conscious orders became alive again. The light to us the readers is evocative to not only showcase the new "Joelle" but also the shift of consciousness and, like stories of old, the start of a new thing like the Sunrise being the start of a new day. Also the imagery utilized here to not denounce but let the reader revel in the act of cannibalism is present here, showcasing the suspension and recreation of the new conscious order at hand. Also her dialogue, probably very realistic for people that now possess new consciousnesses - they don't realize the change and continue on. To not shame nor make high note of cannibalism, even though there's enough writing her to ridicule it as well as support it from the story's point of view. But to normalize it and make it a part of her Subject which may have not been or may have been the case before this incident.
Thank you very much for putting me forwards for the curie <3
I can't take any credit for the photo, I did spend far too long finding it, it wasn't perfect but I did like the color tones. Pixel2013 is very talented! And there were lots more photos of this standard and higher!
It is funny, i think because I was quite immersed in writing it, and the character is so enthralled she doesn't think of them as human remains, it didn't cross my mind eating bones was cannibalism haha gosh that is a lot of philosophy! I always enjoy reading the musing stories inspire in you. Interesting, there is a tiny crumb of philosophy in here, the consciousness as puppet for the unconscious wasn't what I had intended, but I am very happy it snuck its own way in there. I always feel that part of the beauty of writing, is the story grows between the words and the person reading it, allowing the same story to take many different edges depending on what the reader brought to it. The bit about the old man acting the innocent, on one level by the end of the story they are the same.
I was indeed trying to use the contrast of the daylight to highlight the driving force in the story, and i did deliberately try and frame the bone eating scene without any narratorial judgement, and approach it like you would for eating anything else. It was tempting to go heavier on it but glad i didn't.
~
(Welcome to the darkside... would you like another cookie... they are abyss-mal)
Welcome!~ <3
Gasps in unsourced art
Well I should've done a @seesladen as well because it could've just been tasty dog bone treats now that I fully realize it (and not forgetting our DM interactions). But I won't strike my phallus here, it had me thinking in that general direction and how a Lacanian would've written a story if they wanted to make a train horror section.
Well, we at least saw the Cal-side of this tale fo' sho' ~^^~ Great ending as always!~
(Spreads tendrils like the Void Purified I am and consume everything, including the abyss-mal Cal-kies. Nom nom c:)