Join The Gym Half-Wit
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Have you noticed that by the time people hit 30, they look like a bag of shit?
Of course you have! How can you not notice the beer belly, the silent exasperation, and the pathetic low energy?
Bad news? You could be one of those ugly people if you don't something about it.
Would you fuck yourself?
Most people don't really give a shit about their long-term health. If they did, they would already be in the gym or playing some sport.
And you're no different, right?
You don't care about this, this, and this.
You want the juicy part. You care about the lady in the photo or that ripped guy you saw at the beach last summer.
You want to fuck and be fuckable. OK, respect. Let's talk about that:
Let's get one thing straight...
LOOKS MATTER. A LOT.
I'm not saying they're the end-all-be-all. But when it comes to physical attraction, they'll get your foot in the door and then some.
(And let's be real... how the fuck am I supposed to like someone's character when I see how they treat their bodies? Do you have an ounce of self-respect?)
If you have desires to get it "on" with the 8/10 's of this world, then you have to be at least above average.
But what is average nowadays?
Oh, don't you worry. The bar is so low it's actually sad. You can be NOT fat and be considered average.
Back to the question:
Would you fuck your self?
Would you holla at you if you saw you walking down the street?
What makes you think you deserve the good wuton and oyster?
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"20% of men fuck 80% of women
That's just S A D dude. Both ways.
But it's a reality. Now you know why it's so easy for women to find some D and why it's so hard for men to put it in.
Men have no standards and would shag a fatty because they don't have any other choice.
And that same fatty is so delusional she wants to fuck the top of the pack even though she can barely walk down the stairs without triggering a coughing fit.
"Ugh, you're so abrasive and impolite. I bet you ugly"
Doesn't matter. What I'm saying it's true. And you know it. Even though you can't really admit it.
Wait... this was supposed to be a post about joining the gym.
DISCLAIMER!!!
The gym won't make you a supermodel. Abs won't get you laid. A nice butt won't make you wife material.
But the gym will make you above average. The gym will make you sexy, period.
It's the stepping stone to a better life. I know, what a cliche.
If it's a cliche motherfucker, it means you've heard it a million times, then why the FUCK you haven't joined a gym yet?
Do you know how pathetic you sound when you joke about your poor physical condition?
Self-deprecating humor isn't a personality.
- You're not "witty" when you weigh 160 pounds and you can barely do a push-up.
- You're not "cute" when you can't run a mile without dying.
- You're not "sassy" when you gobble liters of estrogenic beer every Saturday (that one is for me lol)
What kind of man can't lift his girl up and squat here for reps?
Geez, you're getting me all angry.
Listen, I'll talk to you, the male who's reading me. If you're not where you want in your life, the gym WILL change you.
I repeat. If you're not satisfied with your job, your wife, girlfriends, friends whatever...
Join the gym. It doesn't matter what you do. As long as you start picking heavy stuff.
And if you don't know wtf to do, either ask me or search for "Stronglift's 5x5"
Done.
-Thatredbeardguy
P.S- The best way to contact me is by responding to the "Welcome" email you'll receive after joining my newsletter (nice plug lmao)
P.SS- Hey ladies. Don't you think I forgot about you. It's true that for men, the gym is more important. It'll have a bigger impact. BUTT! Butt, get it?
And no, the gym won't make you "bulky" that's a myth. Get your ass in there, you pussy (literally).
I never thought my addiction to blogging would reinforce good habits, yet here we are. I definitely can’t slack, having read this. Once I’m free at 3:30, I’m in the weight room.
Nice. Get that pump.
I travel to the US midwest for work a lot, and it's amazing just how not only unfit and heavy everyone is, but also super sickly and injured. The amount of people walking around with a limp or a cane or those motorized wheelchairs is hardcore. I've never seen anything like it.
I know this is entirely anecdotal, but I'd bet so much money that healthcare expenditure is way higher than similar-sized cities on the West Coast.
Oh, the perks of not having to kill your own food lol
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The way I see it, the "love yourself as you are" agenda is screwing with the future of humanity. Men and women should be doing their best to look their best, to get the best mate. Not because they are more beautiful, but more healthy. And free will - a fat person raising a child with the attitude "love yourself even though you are mediocre" is so much crappier than the attitude of a person that hits the gym telling their child "be the best that you can be." I'm starting to ramble. I can feel your sharp eyes flashing in my direction, I'd better stop here.
Unfortunately, by the time people realize this, they're in their 30s trying to do what they were supposed to do in their 20s.