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RE: Leitner - Week #46 of Finish the Story

First of all: congrats on actually getting that @curie upvote. So that's coolio we get to see old and new members always get an upvote from them and help sustain operations here. I won't go on about the prompt because that is of @dirge's and I shall leave any comment related to that only in connection to the entry/ending. Withal (Even so), let's get cracking and into the post:

Now I noticed immediately that there's no italicization for internal monologue from the prompt side. That easily can lead to confusion for people checking out this post and just reading who might slip up and not realize a subtle shift into inner monologuing and just "regular telling" (I say this because I utterly despise a rule I shall not name and writing is telling, just how eloquent is it is what matters). To pick on @dirge's reply to your entry: "the format regarding the dialog was confusing. You should consider using the standard "dialog markers" to make it easier for the reader." - I agree with what is stated here and you should definitely employ dialogue markers. Here are some, just delete the quotation marks: <"i"> <"strong"> <"em">. The entry picture is rather appropriate (and sourced as well), love me graveyards of course~ To not be nitpicky, but I felt like a train hit me when "He breathed out! a lot" came; my middle English and Romantic language sympathies tell me to not care. But my modern English sympathies want to say that for future fiction-crafting to keep an eye out for silly mistakes like that; especially with how rule-twisty this language is. Same here: "Dementia! no doubt" However this can be easily fixed by a period replacing this comma: ", The"

La filosofía (The philosophy): Admittedly, this entry definitely feels like some Enlightenment Science approach to this whole manner. What I mean here is that Science (with a uppercase S there) is the demystifying process that seeks out to uproot all. Here we see Benjamin definitely going ham and relentlessly deflecting the mysticism all about to the point where Mr. Knauffman just is shamed by the end and has his entire ideology (and culture) shattered in front of him. To the point that even the littlest of existence that dares defy his class (as a bourgeois person who's tasked by society to be a banker dealing with financial capital) like "The poor" are up for hangings. (Which very much reflects the Victorian era politics and the brutal treatment of proles and recent proletarianized peasants.) With the mental image of the World first reinforced by his class interests and religious superstition threatened, it gives a wake call to him (and in fact all of Austria's bourgeoisie) that you can't use Feudal-Mercantile SuperStructural logic (Ideology and Culture) against itself. Thus forcing him to come to terms of that and seeking other ways to deal with a decaying Feudal-Mercantile past. A much of a play between the ruling classes of central-southern-eastern Europe at the time, the dance of culture and ideology versus the growth of a new base (economy of the Capitalist era) versus the dying old base (economy of the Feudal-Mercantile era).

So happy fiction-crafting and happy steeming!

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Thank you very much for your good comment.

English is not my mother tongue and I may be taking a little risk writing fiction in this language. But I couldn't be out of FTS!

I apologize for the format that I used before in the dialogues, I have listened to your advice and that of @dirge and I have edited it for a better understanding.

Writing in English is also a personal challenge which helps me to improve my wording in both Spanish and English. I just ask you to be a little patient with my writing and please do not fail to point out the flaws that I may come to commit, the latter does not bother me, on the contrary I appreciate it.

Welcome for the comment! ~^^~
English ain’t mines either, it would technically be Polish. And I only say that is because I was forced to learn the language alone while having a speech inpediment. So that was annoying to get into English; I still have to unpeck my knowledge of and learn the English language despite what you see above.

Nie, nie. Nae apologize to anyone; it’s just your dialogue markers weren’t part of English conventions.

I ain’t a snivveling anglo nor an imatient Yankee. I thought the English here was fine and wouldn’t mind it. Just they might do and will be pissy about it, so I decided to do this now so you won’t make those mistakes again which will help you avoid those dick heads.

Once again, thanks for the story!~

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