My Entry to the Finish the Story Contest - Week #44!

in #finishthestory5 years ago (edited)

Hello everyone. It is time to have some fun again with the great finish the story contest. If you have not tried this out yet this week is a fun one to try. So mack sure you check out the post here. Also if you enjoy my story there is a comment to vote for the one you like the best. But if you are going to vote at least read a few more than mine. I want to say thank you @marcoriccardi for the beginning this week. Is very different than last week and that is what makes this so much fun. Make sure to follow @bananfish to keep up with this contest and the other great ones coming like This One with a 30 steem prize Well now it is time to get to the story.

The story of Mr. Renhe Ren

by @marcoriccardi

It is said that Mr. Renhe Ren, of Daochu village, in the province of Quan Shijie, in his forty-second year of life, was seized by a great rage because of his long-standing enemy, who was constantly working to hinder and ruin any of his activities and projects. Faced with the umpteenth abuse, Mr. Renhe Ren felt that his harmony and self-control were going to be lost. He was no longer able to feel the noble sentiments worthy of a superior man.
Then he remembered the words of the wise man. "Sit down along the river bank and wait, sooner or later you will see the corpse of your enemy pass". So, he left the village of Daochu and went down to the river. He found a willow with a wide foliage that bent gently over the water, and sat down in his shadow, determined to wait until the wisdom of the ancestors had brought a solution to his problem.

He awaited for days and nights, meditating. Sun, rain, wind and fog alternated tormenting him, but neither the heat, nor the cold, nor the humidity, nor the insects distracted him from his waiting. Time passed, until one day in late autumn, the stream swollen for the rains brought a corpse to its feet, face down. Mr. Renhe Ren shook himself from his meditation and leaned towards the muddy water, his heart finally calm.

Great was his surprise when he saw…

My Ending

His best friend. Mr. Renhe Ren had forgotten that this man who had become his enemy had started as his best friend. It had made the betrayals cut deeper than if a stranger had done them. Yet with all that time to sit and think the hate for the man in front of him had faded. That face didn’t bring to mind the fights. The jealousy over girls and who got promotions first. His mind tried to remember what had driven him to need to walk away from this life.

Mr. Renhe Ren sat and as his mind could not find those reasons for hatred his heart filled with sadness. His friend had a wife and a child. Had his actions truly lead to his death? He had believed the saying of the old man so strongly. He had been able to ignore hunger and survive all this time just meditating. He pulled the body of his old friend onto the shore and went to find a phone to call the police. He went back and as he waited for help his eyes filled with tears.

The police had bought them both back to the city. Mr. Renhe Ren returned to his home and found it that someone had been inside. The map of the rivers he had looked at before leaving had been moved from where he left it. He found that one of his back windows had been broken and his backdoor was unlocked. He was so tired so he locked it up ate and went to sleep.

The wake was held just a few days later. As Mr. Renhe Ren walked around he saw eyes staring at him. They had a look of disapproval even disgust. How did they know? He couldn’t help but head for the door when a small arm pulled at him.

It was his friend's son. Older than he remembered and with eyes he could tell had been crying.

“Did he save you?”

“What, why would you ask?”

“He told us that he had to find you to make sure you were okay. So I wonder if he saved you.”

Mr. Renhe Ren fell to his knees and sobbed. It had been his friend in his home. He had found the maps he had gone to the river to save him. He fell in and was lost. He tried to gather himself enough to get it out.

“Yes he did”

Mr. Renhe Ren spent the rest of his life working to pay back a debt that was unplayable. He made sure that his friends family had everything they needed. He rose higher than he had ever been able to before. Then when the boy was done with college and didn’t need his support he wrote his will and went back to the river. His only purpose was to fill in for his friend and he was done. He walked off into the water and let the current take him.


image.png

image.png
image.png

image source

Sort:  

What a beautiful story of redemption! With your ending, my little fairy tale becomes truly instructive and endowed with an intense morale. An enemy so able to influence Renhe Ren's life must necessarily be someone close to him, as you say in the commentary to Calluna, and from his death comes the strength to re-emerge from the spiral of misunderstanding and hatred; then there is the theme of altruistic sacrifice, and the theme of never being too late to repair one's mistakes. Truly beautiful teachings!

Thank you for all that. You see all things wanted to show in this story. I will be about to read the others tonight I hope.

Posted using Partiko iOS

Oh my word, this is such a powerful and emotional ending! Looking on the face of his enemy his is struck by the memories of how they became that, and seeing him dead, struggles to find value in any of them. That alone packs a mighty punch.

Then the bit with his apartment, setting it up with clues, and my first thought was someone had killed his enemy and done this to frame him, so the twist of his friend having come to look for him, after him being gone so long. As he had looked at the face of the man he called enemy, and found the word did not fit, so had that man, in finding him absent. There is a poignant beauty in your ending, the two having come to that same point, his friend searching the river for him, him then supporting his friends child, then the very ending. There is a balance that seems appropriate given the opening. Yet another great ending!

Yes most of the time it is hard for a stranger to become a bitter enemy so I ran with that. I am glad you liked it.

Posted using Partiko iOS

🎁 Hi @stever82! You have received 0.1 SBD tip from @improv!

@improv wrote lately about: Pocket Friday Feel free to follow @improv if you like it :)

Sending tips with @tipU - how to guide :)

Nice ending. I like that current taking him. Well-worded, and a good image.

Thanks for stopping by to read it.

Posted using Partiko iOS

Thank you for using CryptoSicko!

Well done and thank you for joining and supporting my subscription based upvoting bot that provides you with daily upvotes in exchange for your spare STEEM POWER.
Delegation links for CryptoSicko
100SP 250SP500SP

So SAD! !tip tip! !tip 0.1 @tipu, I don't know what your commands are anymore.

This post has received a 3.13 % upvote from @drotto thanks to: @sbi-booster.

oh, my ;_; What a beautiful story you wrote. That duality of best friend/worst enemy is one of my favourite tropes wherever I read it. I think it speaks deeply about how we relate to those closest to our hearts, how we give them power over ourselves, delivering our beings into hands we expect to be kind but can be equally as unkind because that's just how life turns out sometimes.

The ending was really vivid, I could completely picture old Mr Ren giving himself into the current as he gave himself first into the hands of his friend, and then into his path towards his own version of reconciliation.

Thank you for reading it. Yes you saw so much of what was in my mind.

This tale sort of has a dark ending.

It was interesting to see that the friend went looking for Ren.

What a fantastic story! His shock in seeing the body of his best friend and the heartbreak from both the time and friendship wasted hits hard. Then, to read that his friend had died trying to save him? (I wasn't tearing up, there was just... something in my eye. Yeah. That was it. 😉)
His attempt in atonement with caring for his friend's family was well done and, though I have a personal issue with someone taking their own life, this is fiction and it fit the story, felt authentic and portrayed the depth of Ren's feelings.

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.19
TRX 0.14
JST 0.030
BTC 60023.73
ETH 3191.15
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.45