Spoon-fed Memories - The Adventure - Finish the Story #36

in #finishthestory5 years ago (edited)

Spoon-fed Memories

[The first part of the story is provided by @calluna:]

“When I was your age, I was quite the wild one. Ahhh that look, that ‘sure granny’ look, well if you don’t believe me.”

The underpaid nurse attempting to spoon-feed the elderly lady sat, heaped spoon waiting for a pause between words.

“I had quite the adventure, back when I was twenty-two, I never told your mam about this one”

Susie suppressed a sigh, every resident took her as a different relative. They used a warm, familiar tone with her, looking into her eyes, and seeing those of another. She’d given up correcting them, not one of them could remember her name.

“It was during the war, your grandpa worked intelligence out of one of those top-secret northern bunkers, that’s where he got that compass you used to love playing with.”

There was something about never been seen as herself that was starting to eat at Susie. At first, she’d pitied them, unable to see things for what they were, but as time went by, every word spoken to her, meant for another, began to cut.

“It’s been two months since I'd had a letter from him, and well, you can imagine what I thought when a man in uniform knocked at the door.”

Finally catching a pause in the residents flow, Susie swooped in with a spoon full of buttery mash, beaded with peas. For loud, sloppy moments the lady chewed, and trying to draw on her compassion, Susie smiled, scooping up another spoonful.

“Well my heart dropped and I nearly fainted before he could speak. That awkward young officer grabbed my hands, looking me firm in the eyes, ‘He’s not dead Mrs Ellerton, he’s fine, I just need you to come with me’. I’ve never packed a bag so fast in my life!”

Susie quickly exploited the dramatic moment, dropped another spoon of mash, this time laked with stewed beef and gravy, into the open mouth. She used to hate herself for finding those too far gone to chatter away easier, avoiding the talkers, but despite her best evasions, she’d got stuck with conversational Mrs Ellerton today.

“We sped down those country roads, whizzing up north, in hours. He told me nothing on the way, offering only that Nick would tell me when we got there. I’d had no idea what to bring, and had frantically thrown everything I could think of into my bag, as we drove up I began to realise all the things I’d not thought of, but there was no turning back, I could tell by the way that officer gripped the wheel we were in a hurry!”

Mrs Ellerton wasn’t letting up, Susie glanced at the clock, her shift was due to finish in ten minutes, but she couldn’t go anywhere until the old bag wrapped it up. Putting the spoon down, she tried to fight the rising anger, and decided to try and get Mrs Ellerton to cut to the chase.

“So why had your husband had you brought there?”


hospice-1794351_1920.jpg
Source: Pixabay


The Adventure


[This is my ending of the story. Once again I broke the 500 words limit, but I guess I don’t care…]

In the watery eyes of Mrs. Ellerton a spark of malice passed, while with a cold and knotty hand she clasped Susie's wrist, dropping a lump of mash from the spoon on the blanket that enveloped the old woman's legs. The nurse cursed mentally. She would have cleaned before taking off the turn.

“Husband? Oh, girl, who said he was already my husband? What do you think, young people didn't talk to each other that time? Do you think you invented everything? "

Perfect, even the lesson now. Susie smiled forcedly while with quick gestures she took the wipes and dried the stain of mash. The dish was still half full, and the clock on the wall reminded her inexorably that she would make even today unpaid overtime.

"The young officer carried me up north driving as a devil. The car lifted a big fuss and I was tossed around every hole in the street. When we crossed other rare vehicles, he was trumpeting asking for space."

Susie resumed to shove in the mouth of Mrs. Ellerton spoons overflowing with dinner. Before going away, he would change the blanket with a clean one and bring down this to the hospice's laundry.

The lady gobbled distractedly, lost now in her recalling.

"I had no idea why he had such a hurry, but I was not frightened by the race, I felt electrified, as if I were on a carousel."

"When we finally came to the base, the officer didn't even slow down. For a moment, it seemed that we would have crashed on the gate that closed the entrance tunnel, dug on the side of the hill, but our arrival was awaited, because at the last moment they lifted the gate. "

"As soon as I got out of the car, all messed up and dizzy, I saw that there were two wings of men in uniform who welcomed me, like I was a celebrity."

Without intending it, Susie had left the spoon in the dish and in spite of herself she was immersed in listening. The narrative was beginning to get interesting.

"I felt embarrassed, but those hunky soldiers had eyes only for me, and smiled, and told me to go on while I was passing between them. At the bottom of these two military wings, your grandfather in his parade uniform was waiting for me. "

"As soon as I came to him, he kneed and handed me a ring. It was a simple golden band, without diamond and without decorations. He told me Eunyce, do you want to marry me? I didn't know what to say. With a part of me, I wanted it a long time, but I did not expect it at that moment, with the war going on and he in the service. And then my parents were against it, they didn't see him in a good eye because he was from a peasant family. We were supposed to sneak up. "

"Then Alfred, your grandfather, told me You don't know how this war will go. So far it is fought down south, beyond the sea, but the enemy could launch an invasion, or other bombings. We can't say when it will end, and if we survive. That's why I'm asking you to get married now, if you love me. I don't want one of us to die before we could exchange the eternal promise."

"I still had some doubts: Alfred, you know my parents would never speak to me again. And he replied: Do you really need the blessing of your relatives to live your life? I want to know if you want me, not your parents."

"Then I told him yes, and we got married there, in the bunker, with the military chaplain to celebrate and the commander who witnessed us. My parents knew it only at the end of the war, and there was nothing they could do, they had to accept it! Did you see that even an old lady like me, in her day, was a rebel?"

Susie could not suppress a smile. Mrs. Ellerton didn't seem so obnoxious. But the old woman had not yet finished:

"And you? At your age, you should eat the world! Why do you lose your time in this sad place? As every other people here, my time is almost done, we have already lived our life; I am satisfied, but you, my granddaughter, you must live your adventures now, as long as you are young! "

Susie said:

"You know, I'm not really your granddaughter..."

With a sly smile, Mrs. Ellerton replied:

"I know, dear, I know... go home and leave that dish alone, the food here is a real crap anyway."

Susie got up, shook the wrinkled hands of the old woman, kissed her on the cheek full of gratitude and walked out of the room smiling.

The next day, her head nurse wanted to present her a reproach for leaving the room and the guest in disarray, but she anticipated handing her a letter of resignation. The time of her adventure had come.


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This is my entry for the week #36 of the awesome contest held by @bananafish: Finish the Story, the best way to earn STEEM and Steem Basic Income Shares.

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This post was submitted for curation by: @theironfelix
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Oh i like this, you feign well. To begin with, I thought this was going to be about an affair, but segwayed into seizing life, and love, in the midst of death, that although was then compounded by war, never really goes away. You capture the emotional conflict Susie experiences, in wanting to try, but also being overworked and under appreciated, very well and then the way you bring relevance to the story, and her telling it to Susie at the end is just perfect. Very well finished!

Thank you!
Initially Susie looks like a negative character, but I thought she might just be a girl stuck in a professional choice that was not satisfactory for her, and I often met older people who preferred that young people live in full rather than being stuck to care for them.

Yes I agree with @calluna. An excellent focus on both the characters' personalities. A good carpe diem message, also. In the end, we discover that both Mrs Ellerton and Susie present a charming inner world, more than what it would seem in the beginning. Somehow I expected something very odd to happen but you opted for a very classic story.

I like how you ended on a positive note, with Susie encouraged to get on with her life. Let's hope that a handsome young husband was somewhere waiting in the wings for her. And I'm sure Susie was glad in the end to have been recognized for herself and the fact that Mrs. Ellerton cared enough to give her advice.

Yes, I wanted to end on a positive note, because I was indulging in making Susie and Mrs. Ellerton negative characters, at least for their temper.

Very brash and confidently told. As if you did it in one go. Anyway, it reads nice and fluid and you let the character of Susie and the old lady change several times, it's fun and very realistic, like the whole sequel. Well done! And it's also nice that you let Mrs. Ellerton come back to the present at the end.

I drew on the way of telling of my grandparents and many other elderly people I met. Strictly, very direct and without frills, or sweetenings... as if the age had made them lose the verve for the laps of useless words.

Good on Susie to leave a place she didn't enjoy and go live a little.

I imagine her in Africa with Médecins Sans Frontières :D

Lucky her, to be given the push to what she been yearning to do for a while. To be granted recognition of her horrid place and the fact that the elderly weren't blinded by it. Ho! I must congratulate thee on this manner to execute the act well. But I congratulate thee for making the scenes live-able as well and that we can imagine being there as we read along. Hey ho! El espirit de "Carpe Diem" was present all throughout, but only after the social teasing scene with the driver and patient. Which, although not expounded upon, could've been happening, but it probably was more of best friends type of "free love" instead of the serious, real deal of pre-adultery behaviour.

Yet even so, the fact that the military didn't object to the marriage proposol (other than the reason being that the culture of "Green" all troops share makes them look away at some semi-taboos) can easily be a reflection of changing times. Where societal culture is again letting go of a serious, no kidding marriage and it would pressurize traditions to make room for things to keep society at bay. And, even so, the real deal that the troops (remember the follow the culture of "Green") even congratulated and encouraged Alfred to do it in swagger and a spiffy military uniform tops of the general liberty of people as they currently are. And to take it further, that Alfred neglects care for the parent's consent reflects on society breaking even further away from arranged/"allowed" marriages and allow monogamy to take itself towards another logical step.

Upvot'd and resteem'd.
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It is not in my story, but I thought to myself that Alfred had requested this "favor" from the commander of his base, speaking from man to man and obtaining it for the respect that two fellow soldiers in wartime earn among themselves. My vision of the military, in this case, is more that of a parallel society that follows its own rules and rites, often without fearing to stand against civil society, even being proud of it.

Yeah, I love that yah hinted that. Pluis, I do mean it seriously about the culture of “Green” in the military. A fraternity that’s not entirely present in Civil society.

Hello @marcoriccardi, thank you for sharing this creative work! We just stopped by to say that you've been upvoted by the @creativecrypto magazine. The Creative Crypto is all about art on the blockchain and learning from creatives like you. Looking forward to crossing paths again soon. Steem on!

Thank you for passing by! I follow you with pleasure.

Shh! Don't tell F3nix but I love it when people don't care about word limits! (Says the squirrel who doesn't have to do the final judging. 😂)

Your portrayal of Mrs. Ellerton is my favorite for this round! Good for her for giving some attitude back to Susie when she asked if she thought that "young people invented everything", and for rebelling against convention for her love!

Also, you brought me around to liking Susie, who ended up listening and being touched by the older woman. The added touch of the kiss to the cheek in gratitude had me smiling and missing my grandmother.

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