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RE: Reptilia: Finish the Story #65
What a great comment. I'm really glad you related this to our relationship with our pets. It's easy to bully them, isn't it? To try to get them to cooperate with our wishes. But you and I know that's terrible. Whenever we use coercion of any kind, it has to be for the benefit of the pet, and not for our benefit. That's the difference between bullying and appropriate behavior control.
You impose discipline on you pet out of love, not self interest. If we apply that standard to Sedar, I think she fails miserably. But anyway, it's just a story. And you're correct--I can't leave my values behind when I write.
Have a most wonderful day.
I wish you all happiness and creative fulfillment.
I mean, in the sense they are helpless and dependent on us, but for those same reasons it’s unthinkable. I find necessary behavior control difficult enough. I am trying to get better at being sensitive to the insight others can give me, and adapting accordingly. It’s painful to think how something like restraining a bunny to apply eye drops could be put in terms of bullying them into cooperating with our wishes when as you say, it's not out of self-interest, but it is still making them do something and the awareness is still important. This is just so powerful, it’s all too easy to assume the little creatures we dote on care about us, but maybe it is more a learnt behavior. It’s true that if anyone else had treated them sweetly and had taken care of them, they’d have reacted the same, so in that sense they are simply performing a behavior they have learnt gets the fusses or whatever they want, from the person they are just used to getting it from, and it's easy to interpret that as caring, or friendship like Sedar did, but it isn't. Although mulling this over I can't help but feel maybe the same applies to people, sweetness and affection, or instincts, have trained them to care about me, but ultimately anyone who took the same role would’ve got the same result. It's just as conditioned as a fear response. It’s depressing, but then it’s good to understand. The more I have been thinking about this, the more I can see how this perspective can be liberating; we keep going with something for the sake of those we feel care – pet or person, understanding it’s to some degree conditioned and not real removes that obligation. Sedar definitely fails to consider Noz above her own wishes, and even if she had, her understanding of him is possibly too misplaced to be able to. The values in your stories are a good thing, it’s part of what makes them so thought provoking, and although fluff is fun sometimes, the serious stuff matters, and yours are always a pleasure. There is an element of them being values I would say I hold myself, but even when they challenge the way I see myself – or in this case how I perceive others as seeing me, they are still exceptional stories, probably only more so for that.
Thank you, you too, you have given me so much to think about and I am grateful for that. It has helped me a lot with something else, realizing I don’t matter and it was only what I did makes it easier to reconcile not being the one to do it - because anyone could do it just the same. Thank you ❤
You have to be kinder to yourself 🌟
Sometimes I'm tormented (really pained) by guilt over past acts--things I can't change. Then wise people remind me that if I can't forgive myself, how can I forgive others? So I apply the same rule to you. It's my belief that you try to act out of the best motives. We're not perfect. Sometimes we fall short, or make mistakes. The most we can do is get up in the morning and try again.
I think it's a lucky bunny--or any creature--who gets to live with you, who is dependent on your care. Your heart is clear in everything you write. Nice to know you @calluna.