Tears of Love (#fiftywords)

in #fiftywords6 years ago (edited)

Tears of Love

A shooting star full of magic, she’ll fly across the pond and make the City of Light infinitely brighter.

A brave fool full of dreams, he’ll build a reunion for he holds her in the highest esteem.

Nostalgia adorned their faces, for they loved that they could not be replaced.






Hello everyone! Here's a little 50 word story for @Jayna's challenge #fiftywords. I'm a venezuelan writer and currently I'm trying to be better with every text, I'm still looking for my north but I know I'll be able to find it eventually. I'm new to Steemit (I haven't done my introductory post yet) but when I saw the 50 word challenge I thought it was an excellent opportunity to work on my writing!

This week's theme is "water." The delivery date was until yesterday (September 8th) but I really wanted to write something about my best friend and her, getting closer and closer, departure to success. Recently I saw Red Smith's quote: "Writing is easy. You just open a vein and bleed." So here I am bleeding, for myself, in from of you.

I would like to know what you think about this short story and its relation to this week's topic (in my mind everything makes sense but I don't know if you get the ideas I conceived).

Also, keep in mind that English is not my mother tongue, so I would appreciate any criticism that might help me improve my English (and my writing!).

By the way, if you'd like to participate in this initiative just follow this link: https://steempeak.com/challenge/@jayna/fifty-wordshortstorychallenge-storyround-upandnewprompt-prd2sbjrvl I'll see you in the other side.

Thanks a lot for reading me! Take care, big hugs.
- DeigoAM

Image courtesy of Stockup

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Hi, @deigoam. Welcome to Steemit and to @jayna's 50 words challenge.
Wish you the best in the platform.
I gather this girl is going to Paris and is an artist, maybe. Travelling from Valencia or Maracaibo?
By building a reunion, i'm guessing a farewel party, a get-together?
The fact that he is described as brave and fool suggests some contradictions either in his purpose, his feelings or his overall life plan.
The characters asume their feelings for each other are strong enough to survive distance and what they mean for each other is beyond labels.
Speaking of which, I'm curious about that tag you used (muskus). Double check the use of tags. Not sure if it valid or if it means anything in particular for you. Tags are intended for visibility of the post, should be related to the content.

Hi! Thanks for the heartfelt welcome and taking the time to read me.

Yes, she is an artist and she is going to Paris. When I used the word "reunion" I used it, not in the venezuelan sense, but rather like finding her again after being separated. I wrote "brave fool" to describe myself as I tend to be really stubborn with the thing I want (in this case, being by her side once more). I know we'll find each other again.

Regarding the tags... thanks for the clarification! Muskus is my mother's last name so I want to create a tag that's link only to me (baby steps).

Anyway, nice to meet you! Thanks for the feedback and your time.

You are very welcome. Take some time to visit other post, commento on people's post, interact with other users and little by little people will know you and visit your posts too.
Some people do not reciprocate the comments or upvotes, never mind that. Most do.

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