Fiftywords: A "Hi" never said
Salam (Peace)
This is an entry to @janya #fiftywords (the initiative vice-leader until @miniature-tiger comes back.) The prompt this time is "Mouse", as usual the story is exactly 50 words excluding the title and "The End".
A "Hi" never said
He stared from afar as they talked. Heart ached with every smile. He wanted to join.
A single "Hi" from him and they'd welcome him back asking what took him so long.But afraid of hurting them again he stopped. The message was there but "send" was never clicked.
The End
What are your thoughts?
I think this could be written way better but I don't know how, it was around 100 words but since I wrote it for #fiftywords I had to shorten it a lot. Hmmmm~ Well, at least the message of the piece is still there. I didn't use the prompt word but I implied it at least so that's a good start.
With "Dead Lands Never Bloom" it seems I like to use the word never in titles... haha :')
He should just go and say Hi! :)
Yup, he really should. Maybe he's too shy or had a terrible past experience he don't want to go through again. But he really should talk with them (sadly someone I know is exactly like the story described.)
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Thanks for your entry. I think I need an explanation of what is happening in the story. :-) And does it somehow involve a mouse? (I do see two mice in the picture!)
It's a computer mouse... is that not allowed?
The story is bascially a guy staring at the screen, his friends are talking in chat he wants to say "Hi" but he's too afraid to click send. Sorry it was more clear in the 100 words version.
Oh! Ha ha! I understand now. That is very clever!
Nice job @ahmadmanga, I liked this, where you had to think about it a little..
Yeah, when you think about it, this story is really sad and "real"... right?
Yes, sorry is often the hardest word to say... It shouldn't be though, people need to learn to accept that everyone makes mistakes, including them... When you do, like your character here, accept you were wrong, say sorry and move on... Grudge holding helps noone least of all the grudge-holder! Negative energy is a bad bad thing...