Svoke "The Divine Healer"
View this post on Hive: Svoke "The Divine Healer"
6 years ago in #fiction by tristancarax (66)
$27.39
- Past Payouts $27.39, 0.00 TRX
- - Author $20.77, 0.00 TRX
- - Curators $6.63, 0.00 TRX
Hi @tristancarax, I'm @checky ! While checking the mentions made in this post I noticed that @steemmosters doesn't exist on Steem. Did you mean to write @steemmonsters ?
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Peace.
What a story. What should I say 🤔 Stunning.
Sounds good to me. 8-)
I'm glad you enjoyed this piece and I was happy to share it with you.
@tristancarax- First I'm so glad you joined this writing contest for @steemmonsters. I love reading your writing.
Second-Wow this was awesome. There was so much that I liked about this story. I play a healer so I totally related to the scene where she had to decide to heal or protect herself. Then when Morrigan crushed Alacander I was no! WTF!
Then the attack of the cat was epic!!! ha ha that's what you get Morrigan!!!
my favorite lines:
Great job! I hope you continue each week. I've been having so much fun writing and reading the stories. Thanks too for including the other writing contests in your post!
Hagd!
@simgirl - Your message made me smile. I'm glad you have enjoyed my writing.
I like to play healers also or some dude with magic. I'm currently playing D&D. It is neat. There is a lot to that game.
Haha. I got the Blood Bending from "Avatar: The Last Air Bender." Awesome series to do some binge watching. I'm happy with the way it worked out in this story.
@svashta had as one of his contest challenges one that you could only have one sense working at a time. I knew I wanted to use that idea here and Svoke provided that opportunity with the use of some magic.
I had this healing woman in the of my mind when I wrote this. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1390398/
I was sitting at the beach looking at me senior student when I saw the connect between the foreground and the background. I saw how they need each other and cannot be without the other. yin/yang I do like Chinese philosophy. 8-)
I think you might enjoy some of the background on how this story came to be.
Peace,
Tristan
A very well-written and interesting story. I don't normally read this type of magic-myth story, but I found myself reading through this one quite easily. Partly because I "know" the author, but also because it's a decent story with some interesting themes.
As a teacher / editor, I have one "correction. At numerous places throughout the story, you switch from past tense to present tense – and back and forth again. Several times, you switched tense even within a single sentence!
Of course, that's a minor stylistic error, and most general readers would not even notice that. (Or, if they did, it would not concern them in any way.)
But for me, as an editor who tries to ensure that any writing that gets read (by me or by others) is perfect, I'd suggest you take care in your future writing, and try to avoid such switches of tense.
Write on!
Your feed back is very much appreciated.
First, I'm glad that you like the story enough to read through it, because it held your interest.
That is the problem. I one of the general readers. haha That being said, I'm not understanding how to use the tenses in stories; like when to switch from one to the other or even do I switch and where would I switch? (Grammar flags me on this all of the time but I don't know how to correct my error without a paid subscription.)
Please, whenever the urge strikes to share your editing insight with me on my writing, I'd love to read it. I want to get better.
As a general rule, when telling a story, do not change tenses. Telling a story of something that happened dictates that it should be in the past tense.
If you write something about what you will do or something that will happen, then you will use future tense. But in such writing, you may also refer to things that are happening now (use present tense) or things that happened before ( use past tense).
Don't worry too much about that, and just keep writing. On Steemit, we have a fantastic platform for writers, so take advantage of it. I believe it will grow exponentially in the coming years.
Good luck!
Hi tristancarax,
Visit curiesteem.com or join the Curie Discord community to learn more.
Whoa! Sweet awesomeness! I got a treasure I was seeking. Thank you so very much! I’m giggling with joy 🙏🏼🤪💥🤣
Congrats on the curie, and heck of a story, it definitely deserved one.
Thanks you very much.
Very intense story! I suppose you would need to understand deeper philosophies in order to control the energies of the universe.
I really like how much steemmonsters is bringing to our community, in terms of different contests, participation and collectables. Way better than cryptokitties if you ask me!
Steem on!
However we get in tune with the universe is a good route to take.
Thanks
Woah this is really deep! Tune in :)
I like going deep.
Glad you enjoyed it.
It was creative.
Seeing how the powers of nature; the trees, land, wind, all give a helpless abandoned little sick child, sivoke super natural powers.
The way she fought the battle to deliver the Lord reminds me of a scripture,
"the stone the builders rejected has become the chief cornerstone".
This story gives a sense of equality on the unfortunate people like sivoke.
I'm glad you got something from it.
Brilliant! I really enjoyed the history around Svoke receiving her powers- it has such a great feel to it.
It was a real adventure feom beginning to end- though Alcander's death man's my toes curl!!
E
I once heard of this little girl who went into the forest, found mushrooms, ate them, and came a person who could heal. Instead of cougar, I was thinking of jaguars climbing up trees and getting high off of a plant. LOL
Glad you enjoy this piece. It was sad to see Alcander go the way he did. Watching your friend die like that would be very tough.