Your idea is very particular and unexpected. I enjoyed Cornelius' cat and mouse game and the idea of the bed split at the edge. It gives the perfect idea of a mystical symbolic language, really suiting the story setting. Congrats, this is the originality that this contest looks for!
The line about the bed splitting apart comes from the I Ching. I wanted to include it somehow with Dowser because yin/yang can (and was used historically) translate as no/yes.
I wanted to get back Elissa but it didn't work out with the 500 word limit. I took out tons of sentences to get it down to the 500 word limit.
Yes I know.. 500 is not easy (but possible) and I appreciate your effort. The aim is to give relevance to the idea/plot plus make it feasible for everyone to read the several contributions. I'm glad I asked you couse this I Ching concept is fascinating.
I like it. You are good at writing dialogue, comes across very naturally
Thanks! I'm glad to know at least one person read it. 8-)
Your idea is very particular and unexpected. I enjoyed Cornelius' cat and mouse game and the idea of the bed split at the edge. It gives the perfect idea of a mystical symbolic language, really suiting the story setting. Congrats, this is the originality that this contest looks for!
Your kind words are appreciated!
The line about the bed splitting apart comes from the I Ching. I wanted to include it somehow with Dowser because yin/yang can (and was used historically) translate as no/yes.
I wanted to get back Elissa but it didn't work out with the 500 word limit. I took out tons of sentences to get it down to the 500 word limit.
Yes I know.. 500 is not easy (but possible) and I appreciate your effort. The aim is to give relevance to the idea/plot plus make it feasible for everyone to read the several contributions. I'm glad I asked you couse this I Ching concept is fascinating.
I'm not complaining. 500 words is a lot! Trimming the fat made this better anyhow.
happy to read where you took the ending!
Thanks.
I wasn't finished yet. They still have the business in the room to attend to. 8-)
This cult is running out of cultists! 😂 Nice entry!
I don't think Mar. died just yet. I had in mind that he likes to fuck with the women and prove to himself how weak they are.
I stopped in to read your ending, good luck in the contest today. 👍
Thanks.
The Finish the Story Contest - 17th edition is out with a 4 SBI pot. Godspeed, brave storyteller!