I am now officially addicted to reading this My100 series. It's getting a bit out of control. Anyway... #60. Overall I think the revision is better, except for the first line. The first like hook talks about the Director (Richard) but the real hook here is the new guy that walks into the room and how that elicits certain feelings/emotions in the narrator. I feel like you'd be better off focusing more on that. I think it would work better with some variation of the last line of the revised version mixed with a bit of the original first line maybe.

I have a man. Carlo. It isn’t that. But there’s prizes and prizes, if you take my meaning. And although it was very early, I felt a sin coming on.

#61 The revised version is great. It feels far more personal to the narrator than the first version, especially the reference to "my Caius". Suddenly there is a deeper degree of anguish which makes it more real. I like this one a lot.