While I do like the idea behind the story, there's a couple things I need to point out.

There's a shift in the point of view in the third paragraph... You go from first person narrator to third person.

You have used some verbs in their continuous forms (-ing forms). Namely using and daring

It is due to your use of the -ing form that I must disqualify your entry. Sorry!

The story is creative and nice, but you didn't follow the rules :/