A great story, full of hope and expectations! It feels like it is in the same "universe" as your story for the previous contest. I like how this world is given flesh and bone even with little tidbits of information from short stories. Perhaps this could be a good way to introduce the world to the readers.
When I started this entry I was wondering if I should make it in the same universe or not, perhaps flesh out the previous contest entry and begin making it into a proper story. That thought is still there! The powerless mages, the hopeful magister, the people without a ruler, and the monks who desire sovereignty.
~twiddles fingers~ my brain is inspired and it's exciting :D
These are all very interesting points, and I think they make excellent story hooks!