Harek's Quest
View this post on Hive: Harek's Quest
6 years ago in #fiction by kaelci (67)
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@kaelci
Interesting. pretty good. Correct grammar and not full of adverbs, and that is more then I can say for a lot of stories I read on Steemit. When I first looked at the picture my imagination went wild, now that I read your story, I can't unsee a sea-monster.
Good Job.I'm become pretty good at not using adverbs :D (uh.. after a lottttttttt of yelling at myself to stop. STOP.) They still pop out on occasion, but I've been led to believe that one or two is fine. My main thing is verbosity. Sigh. And grammar. I'm grateful that you say it has correct grammar because I struggle a lot with commas. I know the basic rules, but sometimes I put a comma where there is a natural pause and thus has no need to be there and next thing I know I'm writing that sentence over and over fifty times trying to work out the dang comma.
:)
Thank you for reading and leaving a comment! I appreciate it! Hopefully you can find the time to enter this little contest too? More the merrier! :D
@kaelci
I agree about the adverbs. Sometimes there just isn't no way around not using them, and the only use them is when no other words or phrase will work. And the commas I have the same problem, I think every writer writer does, but that's the beauty of revision.
Keep up the good work
Intriguing. I'd like to know what a 'magister' is!
:D
I have a little universe that I've been working on over the past twenty odd years, and I have a habit of incorporating bits and pieces into random writings. Magisters are those who rule the common man and common mage. The common mages, or magicians, either aren't considered powerful enough to ascend to the rank of Magister or are charlatans masquerading as a magical being, and in that case are usually quickly found out.
In this instance, there are no magisters and only mages, mages that think far too highly of themselves. But perhaps young James will change that! :)
Spoken like a true fantasy writer :P I love that it creeps into your other writing - means it's alive and crying out for a story! Looking forward to reading more.
A great story, full of hope and expectations! It feels like it is in the same "universe" as your story for the previous contest. I like how this world is given flesh and bone even with little tidbits of information from short stories. Perhaps this could be a good way to introduce the world to the readers.
When I started this entry I was wondering if I should make it in the same universe or not, perhaps flesh out the previous contest entry and begin making it into a proper story. That thought is still there! The powerless mages, the hopeful magister, the people without a ruler, and the monks who desire sovereignty.
~twiddles fingers~ my brain is inspired and it's exciting :D
These are all very interesting points, and I think they make excellent story hooks!