Love is Blind :: [sci-fi/humor short story - shipwreck writing contest #3]

in #fiction6 years ago (edited)











(story preview only)


Title photo by @negativer

Second photo is photo prompt by Pixabay.com

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It's uncannily like our first date was, minus the blimp and the wormhole gate thingie.

I dunno, I was trying to write this as pretty much exactly how I remembered our first date. You don't remember the wormhole? And the blimp?

No, but I do recall giving you the evil eye.

Oh, that was your evil eye? I thought that was your normal eye.

Ya, I get that a lot. bitchyrestingface

Thanks for pointing me back in time to read this. Definitely a chuckle-mine!

Great story.

I like your usage of imagery, just grand.

While my mind played out the scenes in my head, this caught my attention

Mauraleus was staring at him with her one eye. The ladies from Berallius and their huge, staring single eyes always made him a bit unsettled. Like he might soil his drawers. Of course, he felt like that for most of his dates. Maybe that's what love felt like? He could never be sure, since he would always need to find a bathroom long before true love could blossom.

So typical of you to add funny bits here and there.

The ending was good though. Especially the way you just leave it dangling... Gives our minds something to think

Steem on

A little bit of humor can make a story more enjoyable to read. Something different, anyway, for those folks willing to spend the time to read fiction on steemit.

Thanks for reading!

would always need to find a bathroom

I love this story! It’s a classic first date in so many ways, and so quirky and futuristic in others. I love the fact that he can never quite figure out what part of her body he’s looking at, but finds her tantalizingly attractive!

Thanks! A bit outside of what I normally write, but it was fun to have such a wide open space where the rules kinda go out the window.

Thanks for your proofreading work and suggestions when I had it in the queue, @jayna!

Awww, it's adorable! "...tongue lactating..." Literally?
It's nice to see you can be lighthearted too v.s. horrifying and life-destroying!

Can you imagine a more efficient way to deliver milk to someone? Literally, just stick your tongue into their mouth. The ultimate in alien evolution!

I feel like that would be lowkey crazy gross, but I'm glad Captain Marvel.. ermm, Shazam is into it.

Ambulated

Great writing right there, hahaha. This was very fluid, very fun to read, and it brought many... interesting images to my head.

Aha, thanks for reading :) It was definitely an exercise in clever words and phrases.

I thought Beralli women from 6 3/4 control such models of ships with their minds. I think Mauraleus was obviously not attracted to the pilot as she let him crash near the purple waters. Bad woman!

Maybe Mauraleus was just looking for an excuse to make him carry her luggage :)

Also possible : )

Hmmm.... trying to relate to something familiar: Jetson-esque? Would this story be before or after that time?

Don't even try to attach it to anything familiar. There are no boundaries in writing a story. Create whatever characters you want, whatever worlds you want. I created a guy and an alien love, and she could be...anything.

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