RE: Untilted Series: Bloodsport 1.0 [An Intro. ~600 words]
It has a lot of potential. I hope you don't mind me pointing a few things out that may help your writing?
Facts: Research everything. Even if you don't think they're important, something you may get 'not quite right' will jar an enthusiast out of the story. A stiletto is usually a knife or dagger, not a sword as it wouldn't be sturdy enough in the length. A slender blade would probably be a foil but again, that wouldn't be much use if she was wagering limb-counts - it would kill easily (the point beats the blade in combat) but it wouldn't remove limbs.
This is personal preference: past tense works better than present tense because you can get more detail in (I know, it's a bizarre notion). Present tense is immediate, happening now, with no way of getting hind-sight in.
One last tip: Read your dialogue out and record it if you can. When you play it back, you will be able to hear where it rings false, making your dialogue tighter and more believable (that tip can be used for the whole novel).
Good Luck, I look forward to reading more of this.
Thanks for the 'pointers' :D
Viewpoint is so challenging! It's something I took for granted when reading, it's not something noticeable just being a reader. I like using present tense, somewhat natural to me. I started using it writing for a character who lives 'in the now' only, and just got a habit of it I suppose, as I didn't think about it when I started this. Your tip about hindsight not working with it is really valuable to me, something to look for when I write in present tense, so I can try my best to make it work. For a writing excercise I will take a stab at past-tense. I appreciate the read and thoughtful comment, Michelle.
You're most welcome. Thank you for taking my advice gracefully :)