in fiction •  4 months ago

Source - Yeah I know, this dude doesn´t look like the ones that I describe in the story, but is really cool!

Suddenly there was silence. The light sneaked in as the door opened and a group of silhouettes were cut out at the threshold. Many of us turned our heads to see the newcomers.

It was strange to see the group coming in, all of them serious as they chain mail tinkled to the rhythm of their footsteps. They walked in next to each other, corpulent, with their braided beards adorned with a thousand rings, walking proud and secure.

The first entered solemnly, was middle-aged, still strong despite the gray beard and the bald head. The well-groomed beard was braided with dozens of bronze rings and perhaps hundreds of steel, he looked like a great general studying the terrain before entering combat. He crossed the threshold, stopped a few steps from the door as his eyes adjusted to the half-light, looked to either side before choosing a table in the background, heading his steps that way.

Immediately after him, came another, this time fat and gaunt, also with a long but messy beard. His flabby body, his clumsy movements, his hair and the enormous blonde beard gave him the appearance of a sleepy fat lion advancing after its leader. He wore a coat of mesh, an overdress of green dyed wool and huge studded boots.

Next to him, walking with firm, aggressive steps, another with a beard, hair and black eyes, dangerous face, furrowed by some thin tattoos on his cheeks. His beard, braided and combed with great care, shone with the reflections of countless steel rings as his eyes looked suspiciously around. His massive, tense, action-ready body advanced with feline elegance, every few steps, his hand landed unconsciously where the hilt of his sword should be, searching for it, used to wield it at the slightest provocation.

Source - Of course this isn't the guy, I wasn't going to take a picture of him so I googled a guy as scary as the one who came in.

Fortunately, they entered unarmed. They walked to the table in the corner, the one furthest from the hustle and bustle, and sat in a semi circle, with their backs to the wall. They ordered food and beer.

I looked at them from my seat at the bar, curious. I had never seen such strange people in this place. Their striking entrance seemed to contradict the secrecy of their meeting, I thought that if their intention was not to attract attention they would never have made it, they fitted in here as well as wolves in a henhouse.

I saw them whisper among themselves, the disturbance did not allow me to hear any word of what they were saying but even so, they captured all my intention. I imagined strange reasons for their presence. What were those three in armor doing there? Where are they going? Where do they come from?

I tried to be very cautious. I took a sip of my beer looking at them over the edge of the beer when the one with suspicious eyes discovered me. His eyes rested for a moment on mine before I managed to turn my gaze away. I broke the contact, looking away but the damage was already done. He got up and walked in my direction. Slowly, premeditated.

I considered to get up and escape, but that would only provoke him even more, so I trusted to apologize for my impertinence and avoid worse consequences than a bad time. I took another sip of my beer, it tasted bitter from fear.

I looked at my glass, trying to hide my fear when his steps stopped by my side. I felt his heavy breathing, a little accelerated. He cleared his throat.

—Did you know that it is very impolite to spy on people? —he said in a restrained tone. I was looking at the bottom of my glass, unable to lift my gaze. —Did you know that it is polite to look at who is talking to you?

—Excuse me, sir, I didn't mean to bother you. —I said, looking up to see a sinister face studying me with angry eyes— Yours is a strange group and it was impossible for me to control my curiosity. Please, excuse me.

—Curiosity killed the cat. —He said, looking at me as he rubbed his bruised knuckles.— Are you a cat?

—No, sir, of course I'm not a cat. —I replied to the moment, intimacy— You can be sure that I am not.

—You look like a cat to me, yes, I'm pretty sure you are a cat. You know, curiosity is really bad for cats like you —he said, standing even closer to me, his mole irradiating aggressiveness.

—I swear I'm not a cat, do cats drink beer? —It didn't make much sense what I said but I was alone, a corpulent stranger in armor was by my side threatening me while two of his friends watched us carefully from their table.

—I've seen cats drink beer, in fact I think I can see one right now.

—No sir, I can prove to you that I am not a cat. Have you seen a cat eat peanuts? —I said, while with a trembling hand I took a handful of the bowl at the bar, chewed and swallowed the peanuts.

—Oh, of course I've seen them eat peanuts. Waffle the cat is famous for eating peanuts while drinking beer. Isn't your name Waffle?

—No sir, my name is John. Have you ever heard a cat bark? It is well known that no cat can bark,and I can! —I said, sweating as I waited for the first blow of a beating.

—Woof! Woof! —I barked, ashamed.

—Oh, excuse me sir, now I see that you are not a cat. I must have been confused, but I recommend you not to stare at strangers, you might get confused with a cat and you know what happened to the curious cat, don´t you? —he said, aware of my discomfort and enjoying being its cause.

—Oh, I'm glad the doubt has been cleared up. —I said, while my breath calmed down a little and the stranger returned to his table.

He reached the corner, I saw him sit down and shout with his comrades, I saw him gesticulate by imitating me, I heard the laughter of the group while the one with the black hair howled like a dog. I paid and was getting ready to go out when they got up. I decided to wait for them to leave in order to avoid any possibility of stumbling with them at the door, or worse, on the street.

They left. I took a deep breath, suddenly the place was nice again and I asked for another beer. The waiter came up to me with my jar and I asked him:

—Do you know them?

—Oh, the dwarves?

—They didn't look like dwarves, in fact they were all much bigger than me.

—Well, of course they're not dwarves, but they've been coming for two days and they say they're dwarves. But those aren't the worst, if you stay a while longer you'll see the orcs coming. You won't believe how many lunatics the Middle-earth Conference attracted.

I paid for my beer and ran away.

Posted from my blog with SteemPress : http://jcalero.vornix.blog/2018/11/08/dwarfs/
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I couldn't imagine if i was john, how would I react. i think i won't as calm as him, still able to answer. I love your story, story of yours very to understand and digest. and you have present the story well. when I read each character of the dwarf in your first few para. I start to visualize how they look like :P The image in the post compliment it very well with your story.

I always admire writers imagination on how they came out an interesting story. Congratulate on your curie vote. You deserved it.

Btw, i do agreed on your response on one of the comment (which I upvote). Please do not affected by such comment. You did wrote a very good story and I love to read it very much


Thank you very much! I am not affected for that comment, in fact it gave me a chance to answer and troll him a little bit. It felt nice, he will learn to stop making that kind of comments or he will face three horny giants with king size dildos xD

I always admire writers imagination on how they came out an interesting story.

I'm sure we can all write good stories, it's a matter of practice, confidence and technique; of course, obviously we can't all be Shakespeare or Hemingway but sincerely I think it's possible for anyone to write things at a pretty good level, and even with some luck make a lot of money out of it. For example, Paolo Coelho is really bad and has a great mansion in Geneva!


he will face three horny giants with king size dildos xD

hahahaha, I think he will stay away from that three horny giants or, just paid the beer and run just like your story :p. He was drunk with that beer with such comment. LOL

sincerely I think it's possible for anyone to write things at a pretty good level, and even with some luck make a lot of money out of it

How nice of you to said that, I was the one cannot write but i love to read. I read almost 100+ books, and all collecting dust now :P

I really enjoyed this piece and maybe you will do one with the orcs lol.


Hmmm maybe, but with orcs I do not think it could be funny, perhaps it could be a crime story titled: "The Murder of poor John by the reckless orc gang".
Something like this "And the poor John is now 5 bloody pieces here and there, legs in the bar, his arms in the bathroom, his head looking with dead eyes to the bloody floor" xD
Thanks for reading, I´m glad you enjoyed!

Hi jcalero,

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It´s an honor for me to be in the Curie´s showcase, I really appreciate it! Thank very much for Curie´s support, the Curie team is doing a great job discovering and rewarding great authors not me that bring excellent content to the platform also, not me, so, of course I want to be in the showcase! Maybe somebody will think that I´m not that bad :D

Great story! I like it a lot, short and funny. I read it with my breakfast and had a good time.
Congratulations for your curie vote ^_^.


Thanks! I´m glad you enjoy it!

This was really great read :D hahahaha he barked to prove that he isn't a cat XD so funny :D :D :D


Hmmm in that situation I would bark too. Woof! Woof! Thanks!

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Have you tried coming up a story for comedymic? You have a knack for it. Didn't expect the flow to end that way though. I thought he was about to pull something witty and make new comrades.


Hmmm I used to write for spanish version of the Comedy Open Mic. I guess I could try it but to be honest, I am a little insecure about my black/sarcastic sense of humour and the way that translation could affect it. But I will, is a nice contest and a great community!

I thought he was about to pull something witty and make new comrades.

So I trick you! I made it! Storytelling imho is a game between writer and reader, when I write something I try to make readers think, I put myself as a reader and ask to myself: Ok, what will happen next? If the answer is too obvious, I look for another way, so readers don´t get bored with another predictable story.

Thank you for reading, I´m glad you enjoy it!

hahahaha that funny brother, I can imagine the situation, I being the guy would not have looked a bit to anyone, in fact I always avoid contact with others in public places, and although on several occasions I have had confrontations I have handled them cautiously.

If that was the dwarfs imagine that I would have looked at the orcs xD hahahahaha

thank you for sharing so sigular encounter cat and dwarfs :D



Do not think that by not looking at people you are safe from the "dwarfs".
I remember a "friend" who lived looking for fights, he loved to make chaos counting on us to help him in case things got too out of control. I always tried to separate him until one day I got bored and stopped going out with him; months later he received the beating of his life. I think from that moment on he learned to be more careful.
The ironic thing is that the beating was given by a John, that is to say, a calm guy who didn't bother anyone but simply, that day he got tired of troublemakers.
The moral: If you're looking for a fight you should know that there's always someone who can give you the beating of your life and surely you'll find it when you least expect it.

This is an exceptional piece of fiction. Well thought, well arranged, great delivery. Good job @jcalero


Thank you! :D

Hahaha I didn't see that end coming. I thought for sure I was IN middle earth, not at a bar down the street from a conference lol very nicely done.

I could feel his weakness and the way he was desperately searching for a way to resolve the conflict. The fact that he started barking like a dog was hilarious hahahaha

You put this together very nicely. I enjoyed the twist ending and the back and forth dialogue throughout. Thanks for sharing! Cheers!


Cool, now you know, never enter in a bar when a Middle-earth Conference is in town, is dangerous and if you are not careful you could end barking for your life! Woof Woof!
Thanks for reading, I´m glad you like it!


Hahahaha noted for the next time I get to attend the international comic-con lol got my bark worked out real well though 🤣

It was entertaining to read your story, I enjoyed the touch of humor you gave him, and I know that the images do not resemble the type you describe in the text but they are great. It was a short and easy to read story, thank you very much for giving me something to read on my afternoon off.


No! Thank you for reading! I´m glad you enjoy it!

Hahaha, you made me laugh and I shouldn't say it but you made me think of myself - let me explain. I'm like John. Oh, I'm so curious :D I'm not even interested in what they are saying but I somehow always find myself looking at someone else. I don't even realize that I do it until they look at me and see me 'watching' them :D I'm sure that if I would show your story to my husband he would tell me that something like this (a little bit more real) will once happen to me too :D

I'm just thinking if dwarves look like this maybe orcs will look like real dwarves? Maybe they are ashamed of their size and that's why they call themselves orcs? Maybe is the waiter just kidding John and he should stay.. or maybe not and he did a good thing when he ran away..

It's better to stay home during the Middle-earth Conference.

Great, funny and catchy story. Not too long, not too short, perfectly easy to read.

Thank you for sharing and have a great weekend!


Lol, I´m John too... I think we all are curious but sometimes we just don´t notice. That could happened to everyone, but poor John was the victim this time. I glad you enjoy it, have a great weekend too!

Oh my... I can't help laughing! But the waiter sounded cool so you should have stayed a little longer and waited for the orcs! Who knows you might befriend them this time? 😂

That was a very funny story. You have a very good imagination to have come up with it. Thanks for sharing it for a good laugh! 😃

Edit: By the way, you also have a very good sense of humor with the photos. I was reacting in my mind about the mismatch of the character in your story versus the photo until I paid attention to the captions. Nice ones!


Hmmm I guess running was the best idea! Dwarfs have a bad reputation with violence and alcohol but orcs... orcs are way worst! Just imagine a huge green bastard with bad breath sitting next to me and asking me for some peanuts! :D Thanks for reading, I´m glad you enjoy it!


Dwarfs have a bad reputation with violence and alcohol

The version I got from children stories is that dwarfs are kind for as long as you do not cause them any inconvenience. But they are indeed very bad if you irk them even by just passing by their place without making any excuse first.

Then you can offer them orcs with peanuts! They might enjoy it and invite you to their world! 😃

This is a really hilarious story, J! I can't remember the number of times I nearly got myself into trouble,well, maybe not trouble but in a really awkward situation just because I was "John" for a short while...😀

John seriously was explaining how he isn't a cat?????😂😂😂😀😂😀 now, i can't take this! Hahhahahah! Did he even know what he was saying back there? Lol! Well, anything to save his life from the hands of those "dwarves". He should have stayed back to meet the Orcs 😀😀 that bar sure does have some " amazing" people come over to hang out.

How comes John never clashed with them until today? Well, maybe he never came at times when they do...

This is such a hilarious story and I loved that you kept things short.


I´m glad you enjoy it, now I notice by comments that a lot of people is like John (including me), we are curious and that´s ok until you meet some dwarfs and yes, it can give us a little trouble but, what can we do? Stop watching dwarfs as they enter in a downtown bar? That´s impossible!


Hahahha! Yeah, until we meet such dwarfs. Lol! Nah... We can't do nothing, we gotta keep watching, until the worst happens... 😂😂😀lol

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I just scrolled down without reading lol
And the photos look like giants not dwarfs lol

Anyways, why dwarfs?

By the way, I'd seen your last statement,

I paid for my beer and ran away.

Why you ran away? Anything wrong boy?


I just scrolled down without reading lol

It's rude to leave a comment like that after someone labored through creating their lengthy post.

And the photos look like giants not dwarfs lol. Anyways, why dwarfs?

It was answered in the story if you read

By the way, I'd seen your last statement, Why you ran away? Anything wrong boy?

Commenting for the sake of commenting and not even bothering to read about the content you're commenting is just spam framed better.
Commenting for the sake of commenting and not even bothering to read about the content you're commenting is just spam.
Commenting for the sake of commenting and not even bothering to read about the content you're commenting
Commenting for the sake of commenting and not even bothering to read about the content
Commenting for the sake of commenting and not even bothering to read.
Commenting for the sake of commenting and not even bothering
Commenting for the sake of commenting is just spam.


Oo look, they were giants and they entered a bar with huge dildos looking for the spammers that make random comments just like you, I paid my beer and run after they ask me for permission to use the dildos with the spammers. So, unless you like giants with huge dildos (and they natural equipment) you should stop making this kind of comments!


I would follow your advice if I were him :D You sound dangerous @jcalero! LOL

Hi jcalero,

This post has been upvoted by the Curie community curation project and associated vote trail as exceptional content (human curated and reviewed). Have a great day :)

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Thank you very much Curie!

haha! I'd run away too jcalero! This was so well written that I felt the guys anxiety and nerves! I could feel the dwarfe's breath it was described so well.
Great job. Is this a stand alone story or is there more to it?