Hi @ prydefoltz. Great story! I'm dying to know what the threat is. Oh my gosh, I love this:

There was a bang the likes of which would have convinced your dead grandma to get up and whack your ruckus-making hide.

I am very sorry for the slow response. I need to recover my @jayna account, and currently am posting as @jaynas-minime. (I described the situation here.) Hopefully I will be back as the real me soon!