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RE: Fiftywords: Broken By Avalanche

in #fiction7 years ago

This is really cool, @ahmadmanga! I see the whole scene-- the climber realizing he may not survive, but suddenly hearing a rescue dog nearby. Love it!

Unfortunately, I didn't see it before now, as you didn't add the link to the comments of the contest post. I came across this via a mention on Discord. (And note to self: I've got to remember to check for mentions more often. I don't do it enough because I'm daunted by all the "everyone" tags.)

Anyway, I will most likely run more contests. I hope you'll contribute again! This is so clever.

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I'm like that too by the way...

note to self: I've got to remember to check for mentions more often. I don't do it enough because I'm daunted by all the "everyone" tags

Which contest? I think I posted the link in fiftywo-- checks the announcement post Wait?! I FORGOT TO DO THAT?! Ouch...

No problem, I'm glad that I got three comments on it.


The only part I wasn't sure about is this:

I heard a retriever bark. "I will survive this storm."

I'm not native English so I wasn't sure if retriever is the name of* one of the dog types that are used to rescue, and I wasn't sure if that's how a native writer would write it. What do you think?

EDIT: added "the name of"

That is a good question, as to whether retrievers are official rescue dogs. I would have to research it. I think the popular lore used to be that it was St. Bernards, but I’m pretty sure there is any truth to it, particularly in modern times. The way you wrote it is fine. You did great!

Thanks a lot.

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