This is a continuation of a collaborative story, you should go read the other parts yourself, but here's a synopsis:

@blockurator kicked us off here.

Apparently, Quetzalcoatl is suddenly in New York in modern times, on a tractor, as confused as we are.

@sarez added some complications here.

Wherein 'ol Quetzy burns a lady to death in a bathroom. Ha...er..ugh...err...anyway. We also learned that there is a "powerful deity" in this new place and that Quetzy had an old "flame" (yup) named Cihuacoatl.

Then we this addition from @quillfire in which we meet an intrepid fire captain and a police inspector who is...also intrepid? Intrepid people tend to gravitate to this kind of work, ok? They are investigating the lady Quetzy killed.

We also learn that Cihuacoatl is still alive, and that the gods he knew about are diminished in the wake of Christianity. Apparently, Q was sent to "the void" by his dad to avoid the god-pocolypse. All the other gods from his time have scarpered off to the stars.

Q and C set off on a quest to meet the Christian God, and Q possesses some chump named Allen to fit in.

Lastly, we have the leg from @ireenchew. In her part here. we find out that C has a really nice car at least?

She also apparently has a plan for a time portal to get them home but it depends on Q to go ask a demon for help.

Which I guess would be fine but Q and the chief demon got some beef because he helped out some dude with a hot sister.

Meanwhile, the fireman and the cop found the remains of Allen with some gold in it.

And that's about it!

 
So here we go.

Hmm.

Gonna go get some tea.

The kitchen floor was cold. Should have put on socks. The kettle scraped along the grate above the burner. What was I going to do with this one. Maybe I could...

The phone vibrated. I didn't recognize the number.

"Hello?" I began to fill the kettle. Stupid lousy pipes. No pressure.

"Is this Fromage?" He pronounced it fro mage. Like, a hair magician. Sigh. Wait, how did anyone that knew that name get this number?

"What...er..n...no. I don't know what you..."

"We know it's you. My name is Mike Donovon, of Donovon, Malley, and Urn. We represent Neil Gaiman and the estate of Terry Pratchet." The color drained from my face. Shit. They found us.

"Oh, heh, oh...um...how nice? Well I sure hope you find this Fromage person, ok, bye!" I ran into my bedroom and grabbed some socks. The wife and kid were at her mother's for the weekend. I had to hope they'd be safe there. The dog began to bark in the living room. Grabbing a free wright from under the bed I threw it through the bedroom window. Wrapping the socks around my hands I vaulted out into the side yard and took off toward the back of the house.

Lights from the cop cars parked in front shone through the morning mist, followed by shouts to freeze. The ground bit at my feet as I ran. Damn it. I'm fucked. How did they find me? I had tried to be so careful. Ripping off two major authors in one story was not something you should take lightly. And...damn it...author insert. Now King is gonna be on my ass too. Scrambling up the fence in the back I pulled my bulk over the neighbor's fence and crashed into their yard with a painful thump. Hauling myself to my feet and wheezing painfully I made my way out of the back yard toward the street. I'm too fat to be a fugative...

I recoiled from the street as tires squealed in front of me. An Aston Martin. No one in this neighborhood could aford a car like this. The door flew open. For just a moment I had an impression of feathers...but no, it was just some weird guy with a beard in the passanger seat and an old lady driving. The man waved. "Get in." He had a strange accent. Great. That clinches it. This is so deep in King territory I start to wonder if we're in Maine.

I backed away. "Um...hey, uh...no! No! Are you crazy? I'm not going anywhere with you!" I could hear the yells of the cops as they vaulted the fence behind me. A bullet whizzed by my ear. Was that a helicopter? The beardo had gotten out of the car and was pulling the passanger seat forward. The elderly woman was yelling at him to get back in. I heaved a sigh and shoved the man into the back as I leapt into the front. "Fine, drive." The engine roared and we were no longer on the road. Or in the world. It felt like we were falling. I laughed. It was strained and nearly hysterical. "Where's the road?"

The old lady, obviously Cihuacoatl, turned to me and said, in a lighter form of the same accent, "Where we're going, we don't need roads." She seemed to think it was hilarious, Quetzy in the back seat just seemed confused. I quietly added Zemeckis to the list of people that wanted me dead. The car met the ground with a bone shaking crunch and we were once again in the world. A world, anyway. "Ok, that's it. The last of our old power. You'd best be worth it." We were on a long empty stretch of highway, a sign nearby suggested we were in New York state.

"What exactly do you expect me to do? I hadn't even started writing yet." I shook my head. I hadn't even had time to grab my wallet. I doubted my cards wouldn't have worked in this world anyway. Who knows if there even is a version of me here.

"Exactly." CC nodded. For some time we drove in silence. By the time I realized she was not going to continue it seemed too late to say anything without being rude. Finally as it began to get late we pulled into a small hotel in Pennsylvannia.

It seemed a good opportunity to break the silence. "Ok, so, again, what do you want from me? Also, why did you bring me here?"

CC stepped out of the car and I followed, helping Quetzy out of the back. He grumbled as he stretched. "Can't even properly twist my head around in this thing."

CC waved at the hotel. "Yes, this is clearly our final destination. We must journey the land until we arrive at last at the Springheel suites, the third best hotel in Scranton." She snorted. "We are here to sleep, and to steal a car with four doors." The fact that the hotel staff could hear them seemed to have no effect on the volume of her voice. She spoke as if she were always in a play.

"You do know that other people can hear you, right?" I tried to hang back, but she matched pace and threw her arm around me, beaming. I smiled sheepishly.

"Look, we don't have much time, you've got about eighty words left." She rolled her eyes. "Now less. Tell me where we need to go to find the first shard of divinity."

"What!? How should I know!?"

CC stopped and turned me toward her, her grip a vice. "I know it's to the west, but that's it. We can find the rest from that first piece, but I need what you know. You know -- you just don't know it. Five words. Tell me!"

"Largest Ball of Twine."

CC's eyes went wide. "You fool! Tell me were two of the five! You just went over. Now we're stuck with you." She turned to the hotel attendant. "A room, two beds."

I looked at Quetzalcoatl, he was smiling. "I got one line in this whole entry. You're sleeping in the bathtub."

That's it! I now literally leave my fate in @dranuvar 's hands.