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RE: Borderline Madness - Finish the Story Contest, WEEK 21

in #fiction6 years ago

Rowan, can you explain to me a bit more the middle section where the black-robed character establishes a contact and finally merges with the creatures? Was he somehow like a conjurer against that last bulwark of humanity?

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Hi @f3nix, I think I see where confusion has arisen. That final part where they become insubstantial and wrap around him was just so that they could travel with him through the teleportation of the mana-glove. They did not merge with him truly (I think I shall change that word), the black-robed character is the same person as Sephon at the end of the story. The assimilation of Sephon comes through his devouring at the end. I wanted to experiment with exposition a little in this story which is why the action jumps from present in part 1, to past in the middle part then back to the present in the final part. It is quite difficult to get back story in such a short word limit so I chose to try to give impressions as much as I can. For example, no one but me as the writer knows that the 'Those' can't get to the fortress in the sky without some type of human help but it is kind of implied, so I leave that in the ether (or subtext).

Also, I was wrestling with how to communicate the complete alien aspect of the 'Those' perspective (this is why I used the text block to show telepathic communication). As a true hive species, with no idea of self they would have no idea of time etc.Also, no idea of the indevidual. So when the black-robbed character is asking when he will be devoured (assimilated), I wanted that confusion between conceptualization to be clear. The 'Those' simply wouldn't understand from the context, until he explained to them that he was asking when he would be a number amoung the many Fourth of many.

I absolutely love Iain M Banks and the culture series of Sci-Fi novels and he does this type of thing amazingly well with his ships minds conversations. Anyway, I hope that explanation hasn't just made it more confusing ;-)

Ok perfect.. this clarifies a lot! Let me read it with calm (at work now 😉) and give you a proper reply! Maybe it's me, bud, and you don't have to change or modify anything .. it's just that, at the cost of looking stupid, I also prefer to ask than a general comment. You're next guest star in edition 22 btw, are you ready? I'm already so curious ..

Ha ha. You made me panic then for a moment. I still have 4-5 days until it has to be ready I think. I have a deadline for a writing comp on steemit and a writing comp off steemit, both need to be done by Sunday. I will get those two stories written and edited and then shall start writing a real 'Finish the Story' style genre beginning for ya. You need it by Wednesday next week right?

It's a remarkable work, considering the word limit.. and thanks for clarifying the narrative exposure you used. The communication with those, in my opinion, is the most convincing part but everything respects your usual high standards. With you, an exegesis is always worth to be asked. About your story, it would be best to have it for Wednesday afternoon so that in the evening everything goes smooth ..see what you can do and thanks! p.s.: also if you feel like, feel free to add an intro about you or a project you want to give relevance..

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