Are You An Angel?

.......................................................................................................................................................................................

I blurted.

“Silly.” she told me sternly "of course not. Well...... I mean yeah, in a manner of speaking I guess I am when it suits me, or a Goddess. That’s what all the mythology makes us out to be I suppose, more distortion by the Gawd-Gang.”

“You’ve been doing this a LONG time.” I said stupidly.

“That’s what I’ve been TELLING you!” she sounded miffed, but she looked amused.

“It’s like this. Your ancestors endured an untold amount of suffering. We, that is some of us, have been and still are helping out a little bit here and a little bit there.” she said.

“Why not come out in the open?” I asked.

“There are reasons” she replied.

“It’s not a government policy?” I asked..then almost bit my tongue. I’d been stupid again.

She looked at me sternly for a moment...then smiled "There is no government in Heaven. That would be pure Hell.”

I sat there blinking for a little while, trying to get my head around that idea. I finally realized that I’d known that all along, just in a different context.

I shook it off and said "So....er...what is this rope?”

“Orbital PinWheel” she said "remember I mentioned other stuff by Charles Sheffield?”

I blinked again. I was doing that a LOT it seemed.

“Rockets” I blurted..then bit my lip. "Rockets are...”

“....wrong.” she agreed. "And pretty damn obvious. They are visible for miles. So we’re no you’re not going to ride a rocket. You’re going up in a balloon. That is if you still want to. Not everyone does at this point.”

“Oh I most definitely want to go. I’ve lived a long life on this dirt ball. I’d dearly love to see something else before I die”. I told her.

‘Good” she grinned "Ok.. now listen up. This is how you’re going to do it. You’re going to do most of the work yourself. We’ve found over the millennia that it works better if you have some ‘skin in the game’, this won’t be a free ride. While you are building your travel kit, so to speak, you will also be getting training and other things. The process also helps ease the ‘culture shock’ you’ll encounter when you un-ass the planet. I’m just an advisor. Oh...and give up that idea of dying for a LONG while. You’re no good to me dead. I’d have wasted the time I’ve already invested in you, not to mention what I have in mind for the future. I don’t LIKE a poor return on my investment, most especially not zero. "

“Immortality?” I gasped "More historical lies?”

“Yup...not quite immortal but definitely more than three score and ten That’s..” she said

“Another lie...” I interupted.

"Bright boy. It certainly is. " She said "So here’s what you do. First I want you to buy some stuff. Here’s a list”

“But..but...but” I said. I’d only had to glance at the list to KNOW that I could not afford it.

“You’re Johnny Popping again.” she chided.

“But...but..but..” yeah I did. "I DO NOT HAVE anywhere near that kind of money! Do you think I’d be living in this dump and eating dog food if I did?”

“Well no” she sighed cutely "But money is no object.”

“Not to you maybe.” I started to say...but she cut me off.

“No...really.” she chided "Check your bank account”.

“Huh?” It was usually empty this time of month. Lucky I had a supply of dog food, booze, coffee, cigars, you know....the basic food groups. I was good until the next Social Security check.

“Ok..I’ll humor you..” I did...then I looked at my balance.”HOLY SH.....”

“Now now” she interrupted me. "My fragile and delicate ears remember?”

“...er...COW!” I finished. That was NOT what I had intended to say..

“Where did all that come from?” I asked

“The magic of online banking. Isn’t it cute that I can take a penny here, two pennies there...from a random selection of the several billion electronic transactions world wide and come up with real money?” she wiggled again. Very distracting. I think she was playing me like a fiddle......again.....still..

I (still) liked it.

“So you stole it.” I accused.

“Yup...from governments.” She agreed.

“Well...that’s different’ I said. "That’s ok. That’s not stealing. That’s just redistributing loot.”

“That right. And don’t worry about the IRS. I’m onto their tricks. The money has been routed and re-routed and ‘laundered’ so many times that’s it’s squeaky clean. Never mind that, the money is so you can get some stuff” she said. "Most of it is available online and can be delivered right to your door. Anything else that is required can be picked up at local retail stores.”

If it was possible, I became even more stunned....But...yeah. I could do that.

---

Next
Previous Chapter
The Beginning