Part 36:That was the last Straw.

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Don’t Mess With Texans

THAT was was the last straw. The chair broke, naturally. I was wearing my Armadillo hoodie, since it was too warm for my duster. Same non-newtonian inserts though. I love that stuff. I turned and looked at him. I hobbled close and looked down at him. Then I leaned forward, eye to eye, nose to nose almost. “That was rude.”

He pulled a knife and stabbed me.

Didn’t hurt. My body armor stopped it. Now I’m a patient man, usually. It takes a lot to rile me. He managed to do that. Trying to stab me is one thing…spilling my beer is another. I was gonna swat him anyway. The knife was just extra justification. He’d broken ZAP…I no longer had any reason to be Mr. Nice guy. I retaliated with proportional force. I gave him the old Texas High School ForeArm Shiver. The non-newtonian ballistic gel protecting my forearm hardened instantly when I hit him. It probably felt like I hit him with a baseball bat. He fell to the floor..... out cold. Possibly he had a broken neck.

I didn’t care… he’d spilled my beer.

Never do that.

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You could have heard a pin drop it was so silent. One of the old coots got up from his table…walked over, bent down and picked up the knife.

“He stabbed you with a knife and it didn’t penetrate” the old guy said in awe “He hit you with a chair and the chair broke. You are tall as a giant. What kind of a man ARE you?”

Heh…when could a Texan EVER pass up a straight line?

“Why…I’m a Texan, pardner. Tain’t nothin. Care to join me for dinner?”

He stood very still, wide eyed and staring.

“Ah…that would explain it. A Texan, of course. I should have known. I am honored. Would you rather join me and my friends instead? We have room at our table, or we’ll drag in some MORE tables. We’d all like to talk to you. You drive on the Gucumatz?” He asked.

The waitress handed me another beer. Several of the girls went to shag a few more chairs and some more tables. They put all the tables together. Pretty soon there was a bunch of us sitting around them. I appeared to be the guest of honor.

“The Gucumatz?” I asked

“The Great Sky Road, the route of the crystal smoke.” he said pointing over and across the room in the general direction of the Bifrost Bridge.

“Oh yeah. That. I’ve never heard that name before. Yeah I drive on it.” I told them, taking a swig of my beer. It was Xingu Black Beer. Pretty good stuff. Tasted a little bit like coffee….maybe a hint of chocolate.

“I was here when the Nube Rayo Cristalino slowly passed overhead, the Gucumatz appeared behind it as it went by. I watched.” He said.

“Oh yeah? I imagine that’s a tale. I’ve never seen it up close.” I lied.

“Only from a fair distance, like last night, just south of here aways. Tell me about it” I asked.

“MaryJosephAndAlltheApostles” He breathed reverently. He did that little thing with his hand that some people do. “It was years ago, when the Nube Rayo Cristalino went by….yet you traveled that distance in one day?”.

“Well yeah. I wasn’t in much of a hurry. I was hurt recently and I’m still not completely up to speed” I told him then took a deep swig of that black beer “I’m still recuperating.”

I think I might have one-upped him. I might have took the wind out of his sails. He grinned at me as if he thought I might be kidding, then got a worried look on his face when I didn’t bat an eye. I could tell he was a story teller. He dearly wanted to tell one. He had an eager audience He was in his element. He took a deep breath and Soldiered On.

“I was walking in the Jungle one day, hunting tapir with my bow and arrow. I heard the sound of crackling, popping as of a fire, and the rumble of thunder… only much louder. Anything with any sense ran away …including me. I had immense curiosity, however, enough to overcome my good sense so I didn’t run far. I only ran to the top of a nearby hill.”

“It had to be something else…and indeed it was. An enormous cloud pregnant with lightning was slowly approaching from over the hill. I had never seen anything like it, nor have I since. As it slowly proceeded it spun the Gucumatz from the crystal smoke, behind it.”

About that time the waitress brought me my chow. I nodded thank you silently, not wanting to interrupt his story. The other patrons in the restaurant were also silent. They wanted to hear the story too. He told it well.

“What I saw almost caused me to faint. It was kilometers away yet it cast giant shadow as it moved slowly across the land, perhaps walking speed or a little faster.”

Come to think. Considering his likely background he was describing what he saw pretty damn accurately. I didn’t interrupt him. I hate people interrupting my stories so I didn't interrupt his.

“It was amazing. It was enthralling. I stood there with my binoculars watching it while the sun rose high in the sky.”

“I had left my village to go hunting at the crack of dawn. I had heard the sound of the celestial thunder not much later. Now it was almost noon and the cloud full of lightning was above me, yet it was not raining. The darkness of it’s shadow made it seem twilight. I could now see that it was weaving a celestial highway from crystal smoke as it drifted past me so far overhead.”

“It moved slowly past me moving at that same, slow steady speed. I’d never seen a cloud or a fog bank act in such a manner before or since. The burning rainbow bridge, the celestial highway has hung in the sky above us from that day. With it came great wealth. My village is more well to do now than at any time in our history. The history of my people recedes into the mists of time. Thousands and thousands of years.”

He was finished with his story.

It was a good story. In nontechnical language he had pretty much nailed it. That was about how the Bridge grew, at walking speed, all over the planet. I offered to pay for his meal as a token of respect. He wouldn’t have it. The old coot wanted to pay for MY meal. We argued good naturedly for a while. Other people chimed in. Before you knew it we had a party. Believe it or not there was even dancing. There was a LOT of drinking. I danced with the pretty young waitress who had served me beer. I didn’t even step on her feet….much.

She’d released a few buttons of her blouse and I got an eyeful.

To Be Continued

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The Next Episode is
Part 37:Escort
The Previous episode was
Part 35: I got stared at pretty hard walking across the parking lot.…
the first episode was
Part 1 : Winter Storm

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@everittdmickey
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