[Bilingual Esp/Eng] Las Lágrimas de Dios / God's Tears

in #fiction6 years ago (edited)


Image taken from Pixabay


(English version below)


Las Lágrimas de Dios

—por @CryptoSharon

Las lágrimas caían como ríos de los ojos de Ayahev y se hacían cascadas que salpicaban la grama verde bajo sus pies. Entre ratos, se oían los llantos desesperados del hombre en luto. Su cabello largo y gris ocultaba sus ojos, y entre las finas cerdas de plata, saltaban chispas de luz que emitían la tristeza de un dios caído.

No había razón para haber fallado, se decía. El dolor le pertenecía como las hojas a un árbol, pues él había dejado que acabara la esencia de su existir entre las manos de un diablo. El solo pensarlo le arrancó un grito de los pulmones. Sus manos fueron directo a su cara para cubrirse de la luz, para tapar su vergüenza.


Äilla quería llorar también, entre el bosque nevado y el volcán humeante, frente al cadáver de su padre. Envidiaba a este hombre que podía llorar con el agua clara de sus ojos la muerte de un ser querido. Y a la vez, con la misma ausencia de éxito, quería odiarlo por haberse vengado, por matar a la única persona a la que alguna vez quiso, quien ahora yacía inmóvil y frío, miembro ahora de la raza inanimada de las rocas y los árboles.

Como última medida, tomó la mano inzquierda de su padre entre las suyas y sintió la gélida señal de la muerte. Cerró los ojos y colocó sobre su cara esos dedos fríos que alguna vez la acariciaron. Buscó en su garganta el llanto, y en sus ojos las lágrimas. Buscó en sus pulmones el respirar rápido de la tristeza cruel e intensa. Pero no había nada, y en la rabia de esta ausencia despiadada, finalmente sintio algo.

Se alzó sobre sus pies y como hacía tan solo unos minutos Ayahev había temblado con su triste ira, tembló ella con el frío de la venganza. El invierno hirvió en su pecho y la furia, sentimiento extranjero en su memoria, ardió sobre la piel de su cuerpo. Sintió el aire hervir en su garganta.¿Así se sentía la tristeza?, se preguntó. Presionó los labios y se abalanzó como un jaguar sobre Ayahev, que aún lloraba desconsolado.


Este a su vez paró su llanto y se levantó con sorpresa entrenada. Alzó sus defensas de inmediato, pero de nada le sirvió. Como una bala contra un escudo de carne, se encontró contemplando una mano que había penetrado su pecho hasta el fondo y perforado su corazón. Solo en ese momento, vio los ojos iracundos de la joven mujer que había llorado la muerte del demonio. Azules y profundos como los suyos, llenos de galaxias blancas y nebulosas rosadas. Era la viva imagen de la hija cuya muerte lloraba. Y mientras su visión se oscurecía por última vez, Ayahev soñó con una vida distinta, sin venganzas, donde habría visto crecer a una niña feliz.

God's Tears

—by @CryptoSharon

Tears fell like rivers from Ayahev’s eyes and turned into waterfalls that dotted the green grass under his feet. Every once in a while, the desperate cries of the grieving man were heard. His long gray hair hid his eyes, and from among the fine bristles of silver, sparks of light jumped down emitting the sadness of a fallen god.

There was no reason to fail, he told himself. This pain belonged to him like leaves to a tree, for he had let the essence of his existence end in the hands of a devil. The mere thought of this ripped out a scream from his lungs. His hands jumped straight to his face to cover him from the light, to cover his shame.


Äilla wanted to cry too, between the snowy forest and the smoking volcano, in front of her father's corpse. She envied this man who could mourn the death of a loved one and cry with the clear water from his eyes. And at the same time, with the same lack of success, she wanted to hate him for taking revenge, for killing the only person she loved, who now lay motionless and cold, now a member of the inanimate race of rocks and trees.

As a last measure, she took her father's left hand in hers and felt the icy sign of death. She closed her eyes and placed on her face those cold fingers that once caressed. She looked for sobbing in her throat, and for tears in her eyes. She searched in her lungs for a quick breath of cruel and intense sadness. But there was nothing, and in the rage of this ruthless absence, she finally felt something.

She rose to her feet and, as only a few minutes ago Ayahev had trembled with his sad anger, she trembled with the coldness of revenge. Winter boiled in her chest and her fury, a foreign feeling in her memory, burned on the skin of her body. She felt the air boil in her throat. How did sadness feel? She wondered. He pressed her lips together and pounced like a jaguar on Ayahev, who was still crying inconsolably.


The man, in turn stopped his wails and rose with trained surprise. He raised his defenses immediately, but it was for naught. Like a bullet against a shield of flesh, he found himself staring at a hand that had penetrated deep into his chest and pierced his heart. Only then, he saw the angry eyes of the young woman who had mourned the death of the devil. Blue and deep like his own, full of white galaxies and pink nebulas. It was the living image of the daughter whose death he was mourning. And as his vision darkened for the last time, Ayahev dreamed of a different life, without revenge, where he would have seen a happy girl grow up.

¿Qué te pareció este cuento? Es parte de un nuevo universo que creé hace un par de días. Espero ver tu opinión en la sección de comentarios.


What did you think of the story? It's part of a new universe I created a couple days ago. I hope to see your opinion below in the comment section.


https://discord.gg/VQyYDnm

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I very much like this dramatic moment. It's fun to think about the ways a story could get here. The lover was demonic, the father was on the opposition... classic. I also like the "trained surprise" reaction from the point of mourning. And that moment of falling. Really beautifully done.

:))) Thank you <33

I'm happy that you liked it as much as you did :) And I love the storyline too, for some reason. I don't know if some parts will be considered cliché, but most of it is an attempt at beautiful originality.

I'll try to write a few more stories about this universe, although I sometimes find it hard to fight my perfectionist impulse to throw everything away when I'm not 100% satisfied with it.

i really like that youre writing in both english and spanish on these - its actually great to read them side by side - helps with spanish a lot! :)

:) I'm glad you found it useful. I like bilingual stuff a lot, too. I've always used similar strategies to learn all my languages.

In some ways your writing reminds me of Robert E. Howard, because something very extraordinary happens whenever you deal with gods and dreams and the extremes of reality and consciousness. I loved this piece.

OMG I had erased the 2nd paragraph and substituted it for the penultimate one! The story was all mixed up and barely readable (I don't know when I did this, it was ok yesterday). Sorry to have you read the wrong version hahsdsahd whyyyy, so sad!

And thank you for your comment. :) I've never heard of Robert E. Howard. I'll look him up.

Instead of "who would cry the death" you might want "mourn the death."

Oh, yes, what an oversight. That's a hispanism right there. We say "llorar la muerte de alguien", but it's clearly a term without a direct etymological equivalent in English.

Thank you for the suggestion. :)

I love the bilingual aspect and the title a lot. who doesn't want to be in a different world to see their child grow up. i like that. :)

Thank youu :) I liked the title in Spanish more, I think. It has a cool sound. I don't know if it's because I'm a native. Perhaps the opposite occurs to native English speakers!

And yes. The poor man had a tragic ending for his daughter and himself. I want to tell his backstory but I'm not sure when I'll have the plot and the characters ready. :)

i totally agree! i hear ya, i'm learning how bits and pieces come together by all this practice writing i am doing. also, i realize that sometimes the story may not develop as i first thought with many changes taking place. strange really.

Muy buenos tus post. Si pudieras orientarme sobre como entrar al chat de Discord te lo agradecería. Ando un poco desorientada sobre la dinámica de Steemit. Saludos

Hola, creo que si sigues este enlace, te dará instrucciones para registrarte. :)

https://discord.gg/VQyYDnm

Ese es un link para un servidor en el que estoy, y ahí me encontrarás también.

Muy intrigante tu cuento (y)

:) Gracias, me alegra que así te parezca. ¿En qué te hizo pensar?

...en la realidad de tu cuento, es notable la esencia y diferencia del pensamiento.

¿Qué diferencia?

..."tristeza de un dios caído", para mi un dios no cae.

You got a 34.44% upvote from @upmewhale courtesy of @cryptosharon!

Earn 100% earning payout by delegating SP to @upmewhale. Visit http://www.upmewhale.com for details!

Muy bueno. Me gustaría un poco mas de contexto para desarrollar un poco mas la historia, pero en este caso he podido imaginarme las cosas. Me ha gustado. Un abrazo amiga, disculpa la tardanza

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