"Baby, It's Cold Outside" by Duncan Cary Palmer

in #fiction7 years ago (edited)

“It's too cold outside for angels to fly.”
– Ed Sheeran –


Steemian @gmuxx has challenged us with another great contest:


Art Prompt Writing Contest #8

This image is the prompt for our stories.


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Baby, It's Cold Outside
Image courtesy of @sad-dad

With Thanks to @gmuxx, Here's my contest entry.



"Baby, It's Cold Outside"


~by Duncan Cary Palmer~

He ought to be reading in front of his stone fireplace, warm air convecting out of the heatilator. Instead, the sidewalk stretches interminably ahead. What am I doing? I should know better.

At first, only flurries. Then, a burst like an avalanche. Now, flurries again. He hadn’t thought to dress for this. When she asks, I’ll just say these are my winter sandals. Smiling, he contemplates her reaction to that. For a millennial, she’s so mother-hen.

What if she’s not home? I should have called first. Stupid, stupid.

There’s a rhythm to his steps, a relentless scrunch… scrunch… scrunch… with a slightly squeaky overtone as covalent hydrogen bonds in ice crystals underfoot scream their displeasure at being rent.

What if she is at home? How will she react when I just drop in?

He turns, a flash of rationality propelling him homeward. Twenty yards later, it’s about face again. If I don’t tell her tonight, I may never.

An archeology seminar at the community college had lured him from aimless retirement. He’d always been curious about biblical antiquities. What he learned was that the strawberry blond in the seat to his right was working toward her PhD in Near Eastern Studies. She’d asked for notes from a missed class. He’d gladly shared them over a cup of coffee at the Student Union.

Surprised at how much they had in common, coffee after class had become a routine. Then today, she’d taken his arm as he walked her to the bus stop. Those five minutes kept replaying in his head. Could it be?

Crystalline water refracts lamplight in circular rainbows, magically stationary no matter how frenetically their constituent snowflakes swirl in random gusts. He turns up his collar.

Her place didn’t look this far away on Google. The long, gradual curve leaves him unsure of his progress. Each lamppost, another frame in a film; each tire track, one more groove in a record. So easy to lose your place. Once in a while a route sign breaks the monotony.

But the goal. He imagines her smile when she opens the door. On a night like this, of course she’ll invite him in. They’ll talk, he’ll tell… what? He'll bare his soul. And then?

What if this snow keeps up? Will she offer to drive me home? She’ll think me insane to be out walking tonight. Will she insist I stay?

His heart is pounding.

He had completely forgotten what being in love felt like. He is thrilled, overwhelmed, amazed. He is frightened to death. Am I reading her wrong? Maybe she feels nothing. Her family, my friends… a May-December romance? Preposterous.

On the verge of turning back again, headlights from a passing car reveal a street sign, and he presses forward. Turning left, he walks the remaining half block.

Lights on the Christmas tree in her front window diffuse colorful patterns on the snow‑draped hedge just outside. Leaving sandal tracks on the now nearly inch deep path to her door, he steps onto the small covered porch. He can hear music through the doorway; “Lo, How A Rose E’re Blooming.” Summoning his courage, he knocks three times. Pauses. Knocks again.

Inside, the music stops. Footsteps approach the door. Breath billowing in the bitter cold, hope battling fear, he braces himself for an unknowable future.



~FIN~


Appreciation to The Writers' Block for editing support.



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Thanks for your time and attention.
You are why I'm here on Steemit!
I have very eclectic interests and hope, over time, to write about them all.


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You should take the challenge with this, about fire flash the street make an aggressive, above your mention-able photo, @creatr

Nice...writing is not for me. I would get about a couple of lines done then get distracted by something!

That was cruel. Its like a commercial break right when the best part is next. LOL

Ok, ok, I know when I'm in trouble...

I am working on the sequel. ;)

Wow this story is great. The way his feelings and the events are described is great,like im there experiencing it with him. But now we dont know if he will have a happy ending. Do you plan on completing the story in another part? I also took part in the contest but my story was abt time travel and saving someone.

Thanks, @earthangel, for reading and for your kind comments.

There seems to be a growing demand for a sequel. We'll see. ;)

Inside, the music stops. Footsteps approach the door. Breath billowing in the bitter cold, hope battling fear, he braces himself for an unknowable future.

~FIN~

:| That's so cruel lol. So I was reading along and speculating and then boom, "Fin". It's like staying up all night to wait for this one show everyone is anticipating and then it's a cliffhanger. And you're like nooooooooooo how am I supposed to sleep tonight?! Not knowing what happened next?! She could be married for all we know! Or maybe she gave the wrong address! x.x Or she could've been low-key luring him in and she turns out to be a serial killer. Argh! Too much "unknown future". Awesome work. But cruel lol.

Ok, okay... I've been bad...

I will make it up with a sequel. The pressure is on!

Yes, some people see angels in the cold - Deb did - I only see snow angels. I agree the pacing is perfect, and it ends Where it should. Not all stories need to have loose ends tied up - life is full of mysteries, anticipation, mistaken intentions and doubts...and sometimes naive assumptions, lol

Thank you. :)

I enjoyed the pace of this short story @creatr. I could almost hear the man walking - there was a beat to the words, for example

Each lamppost, another frame in a film; each tire track, one more groove in a record. So easy to lose your place.

...and it's never too cold out for angels. :)

Thank you. :)

Beautiful writing! Will be on the watch out for part 2!

Thank you.

But, see my response to @enjoywithtroy...

Nevertheless, I may be susceptible to bribery. :O

I'd totally resort to bribery but unfortunately my current upvote is only worth .04. Write Part 2 and Its yours. Hee hee.

This is a outstanding fiction writing ..i apprecite this your writing skill...I think you are great writer in this situation...

I wish you win this contest..
Carry on dear..
Best of luck..✌✌✌

Thank you.

Most welcome..Dear...I will wait your new post...But when create your new post ..??😊

I'd loved this when it was in the queue and I love it even more now!
Thanks for writing!

Thank you for your support. :D

You're welcome! Gotta rep my crew 8)

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