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RE: MY CRUSH

in #fiction7 years ago

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Hello @akinboyewa, it was a pretty good story, but difficult to read. You have some very long paragraphs, and long sentences. You should try to put some line breaks in the story to make it easier on the eyes for reading.

Big paragraphs are very difficult to read, the readers eyes lose their place in the story and then they can give up reading it if it happens to often. So you need to try and get a blank line in after the paragraphs like I did here.

If you make it easier to read, people will read it. Also if it is a long story you might want to think about breaking it up into two parts, and using some pictures. If I recall correctly there was one scene of them sitting under a tree near the university, this would have been a good place to provide a break for the eyes, y inserting a picture. Just a few things to think about.


         

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