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RE: A Day in the Clouds (Chapter 5) - The Hours Between 0900 and 1000 (Part 1 of 2)
I'm loving this story. I've always wondered what it must be like to be in the mind of a child so early in life, to see their thoughts and experience their dreams. I've always wondered if they have a glimpse into another life that fades as they grow, like a dream after waking up.
I will say this: I've noticed that sometimes you change tense in the middle of a sentence. I don't know if this is intentional, but it adds another layer to the confusion expressed within Ledd's character.
Some aren't intentional, but all of the tense issues have already been fixed. I worked with @verbal-d to correct all of those errors, and I think we've ironed out at least 99% of it :D I just wasn't able to put in the edits because the window had already lapsed. If you could recall, I wrote this for NaNoWriMo last year, so I was in a bit of a rush haha
I'm glad you've been enjoying the story, dude! I just hope that I did the childhood perspective justice :)