The Broken Man (a fiction-trail challenge # 2 entry)steemCreated with Sketch.

in #fiction-trail7 years ago

At four years old, I already knew the cobbled streets of the city like the back of my hand. By my fifth birthday, I had rediscovered all the forgotten places. And before I was seven, I knew secrets that even the City elders didn’t know.

My favourite time of day was siesta time, when the rest of the household and the rest of the city slept. I was never like other children; I didn’t mind the heat and I didn’t seem to need as much rest.

As soon as my nurse was asleep, and the rest of the house grew quiet, I crept from my bed and quietly slipped out of the house. I had the knack of timing it to be back in bed, pretending to be asleep, before she stretched and yawned and came to wake me.

I was fascinated by the houses and buildings of the city. Not because architecture was of any interest, but because I could feel their stories. I could look at a house and know that someone within its walls was in love, or in pain, or was deceiving their husband. I knew when someone had died there recently, or 100 years ago.

I’m not telling this clearly. It wasn’t the emotions of the occupants that I felt. It was the feelings of the building. Sometimes I felt empathy, sometimes condemnation or exasperation, sometimes grief. I seemed to be the only person who understood that our homes love us. They want us to be happy and do their best to protect us.

But that’s not the story I came here to tell you today. I need to tell somebody the story of the Broken Man, because I don’t know how to help him, and maybe you do.

broken-man.jpg

One thing I found as I roamed the city is that whenever I was thirsty, there would always be a drinking fountain nearby. And they were always the same. They had a face, with clean, clear, sweet water pouring from the mouth.

I began to notice that the fountains weren’t always in the same place. That’s how I discovered the greatest secret of them all. There was only one tap with a face, and it moved. It moved to wherever I needed it to be.

From then, it was no time at all before I realised he wasn’t following me just to be of service, but because he needed my help. For there was no doubt in my mind, the tap was a he.

It took me many months to put together his story, as he could only communicate emotions to me. I had to interpret, suggest scenarios to him, and feel for his approval or disappointment.

The first astonishment was that, unlike houses who know no other life, he hadn’t always been a drinking fountain. I’m still not clear on exactly what he had been, but the closest I’ve been able to get is that he’s now like a genie in a bottle.

When he first became aware of his new way of life, he was in the courtyard of a wealthy man. His water was always collected in silver goblets, and he refreshed the richest and most cultured people of the city. He knew my parents! He was proud to be of service to such fine owners and their guests.

But he began to hear things. The way they spoke of the poor disturbed, then disgusted him. He heard the ways they treated trades people. Despite his inbuilt need to love and serve, he became profoundly unhappy. Then he learnt something that was planned. Something that would devastate parts of the city, and leave many homeless.

So he left, in search of somebody who could prevent this terrible deed. But nobody would listen to him. Nobody could even hear him. He was a broken man, in the depths of despair and admitting defeat, when he first saw me. He finally found someone who noticed him.

But I am eight years old. What can I do to stop this? Who can I tell? That’s why I came to you. There’s nobody else who I trust that may know what to do.

You can help? You know what to do? All I need to do is go home, and sleep, and tell nobody, and we’ll talk again tomorrow?

stone-wall.jpg

I don’t know how much time has passed or how old I am now, but there is no longer any joy in exploring the cobbled streets of the city. I can be anywhere I want, at any time. I feel the houses and buildings commiserate, and grieve for me. Once I saw my parents walking by, wearing black armbands, but they didn’t see me.

Sometimes a person will stop to drink from me. But mostly I look endlessly for someone who can hear me. Now I am the Broken Man.

Thanks for reading

Pictures from Pixabay.

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I like the way this twisted and turned. Great entry and ending!

Thank you, M! (easiest to type) Nice to hear that from a man of your diverse talents.

Very engaging and imaginative. I couldn't stop reading! 😄😇😄

@creatr

Thanks! Michelle seems to have a knack for finding pictures that fire up creativity and imagination. I'm enjoying trying my hand at fiction for the first time since primary school!

That's really cool! I have also been finding the Steemit community to be very inspiring! Steem on! :)

A very nicely written piece. You scripted the emotion conveyed really well. I really like how you tied it all up in the end. Beat for beat, this was such an entertaining read. Best of luck in the challenge!

Thanks, @jedau! That means a lot from a practiced writer like you. I've just been reading A Day In The Clouds and Silver Lining in the last couple of days and am really liking them both.

Crap, I think that might have actually dropped it a cent! How can that be? Well, that answers a question I've been wondering about...sort of. Maybe if I had unvoted and revoted nearer to when my vote was put in, it would have affected it the other way, I'll have to try that out too. If I keep on the trail that is, it's still just an experiment. Sorry! I'm going to have to send you some steem now ;)

No worries :-) Your moral support and good opinion of it is worth more than the cents. It makes me very happy that all you great authors like it.

Of course, now that you have sent me some Steem, I'll accept it graciously and with many thanks x

:) xo Oh...I think they found our poor poor donkey in nn's newest post...

Oh yes I saw that post, but was on my tablet and was going to reply later. I've replied to it now, but not directly to your post, so you won't get a notification.

I wouldn't say "practiced", I'm just a beginner who has put some reps in haha I'm so glad to hear you say that! I hope to hear from you in the comments section one of these days :D

Oh, I really liked this one, awesome deb!! It looks like the trail I'm on liked it too...which is great on one hand, but on the other...I wonder if I should unvote and revote, because that trail doesn't use my whole vote. I think I'll try it, this needs my one hundred percent backing!

Intriguing and interesting story. I like the way the story is told with emphasis on the emotions of supposedly inanimate objects. A hidden story, available to those who know how to look.

We project our own feelings onto inanimate objects. But what if they already have their own feelings? It was an interesting idea to explore.

This was chillingly good. The twist at the end was quite unexpected. Brava!

Thanks, mere. Nice to get good feedback from someone with your great taste in fiction :-) The twist at the end was unexpected for me too!

Bitcoin is the money of the internet ; I will show you a way in a few minutes a day to make a profitable hobby.

The Citizens of the State of Texas are voting on Bitcoin this year...

I have an inside track on a fifty billion dollar unknown industry...

Would you like to listen or for me to just go away ?

All you have to do is say

GO AWAY

and I will be

...gone

Hugz/

I pick you because U seem an awesome Steemian...

I've seen you picking lots of awesome steemians with this. You're welcome to follow me and talk about anything else. But I don't want to talk about bItcoin, thanks.

https://www.cryptopia.co.nz/
Is based in New Zealand and this TINY exchange moves half a million dollars per day.
I just wanted you to listen was all.
I picked these steemians because I have a small advantage into bitcoin which is a FIFTY BILLION DOLLAR A YEAR INDUSTRY and in the year 2017 these steemians are the people I feel will not try and rip me off and steal my idea for their own greed...
That is why I picked awesome steemians; like yourself, but everyone is so fearful. No one even wants to just listen...
If you just want to listen in private since steemit is OPEN please send an email to [email protected]
Otherwise
Apologies for disturbing you.
...gone

want to do bitcoin ?

You've got my attention @crok but I don't know what you mean by "do bitcoin". Can you expand on that?

BITCOIN IS THE internet money system. I am the guru or at least a very smart person on how to make this new internet cash.
You should google and youtube, you really should...
You should really really check out if you think making your own legal money might be something you would be interested in...
if it is something you think you might like to learn more about maybe you should make a steemit.chat channel and maybe give me a private message...
After all what does it risk to just listen...
hugz///

Bitcoin is the money of the internet> I will show you a way in a few minutes a day to make a profitable hobby.

The Citizens of the State of Texas are voting on Bitcoin this year...

I have an inside track on a fifty billion dollar unknown industry...

Would you like to listen or for me to just go away ?

All you have to do is say

GO AWAY

and I will be

...gone

Hugz/

I pick you because U seem an awesome Steemian...

LOL @crok I rarely tell anyone to go away unless it's my husband when I'm trying to work. :)

It sounds like you're giving me a hard sales pitch and kind of like those emails I get from Nigeria saying a prince wants to send me millions of dollars. I'm just telling you my mindset about it so I admit being a little closed - BUT - I'll read your pitch if you want to DM me on Twitter. I'd like to keep it off Steemit conversations unless I know it's legit, okay? My twitter is http://twitter.com/merej99

Many people HATE the "hard sell " pitch, but all you have to do is LISTEN...

You will see how this is your game changer or not for yourself...

steemit.chat for a private message system, plz...

what does listening hurt?

nothing...

steemit.chat...

Steemit is OPEN to anyone to read, since bitcoin is real money

would you email me in private at [email protected]

just to listen to more information that is not published all over the open steemit channel :)

Hugz///

want to do bitcoin ?

Hi ...For some reason I cannot access Steemit.Chat on my phone, TAB or laptop. Will you check to see if you can? I would really like to make a campaign of my latest post with people sharing it on social media etc. Please comment on my donkey post if you can / cannot steemit.chat. thanks my friend

I'm getting in fine, but I did have to log in again a couple of days ago

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