The child protection workers now overstep their boundaries - Again

More than six months ago, I received a letter from the home education assessors (Tusla) that I could expect a phone call shortly to set an appointment for home education review. For more than six months, I heard nothing.
A few days before the social workers came knocking on our door, the assessor called me to set up an appointment.
I asked him if we could postpone the appointment for a few weeks as we just moved house and we hadn't even started 'schooling' again or had anything ready. This was fine and he then set the date for the beginning of October.

They want complete transparency, but lie and cheat their way through their appointments

I spoke to one of the homeschooling women here in Ireland who knows all the ins and outs of homeschooling here and she agreed to sit in with the assessment. Two days before the appointment I called the assessor to ask if he was coming alone or with someone else. He told me he would bring a colleague.
This happens sometimes, however, they are supposed to tell us either in the initial letter, or when they call us at the latest.
He did neither so I didn't feel the need to tell him the other woman (Pippa) would be here for my support.
She arrived an hour before they did to go through what I had for them.
As we are unschooling, there is not much to show for really. The kids do most of their maths on the computer on a program called Khan academy. It keeps track of all they've done and whenever there is something new to learn or with any problems, I sit with them to explain. So far this has worked fine and they are both ahead of their peer group by approximately a year.
They both read a lot and writing is not a problem, but most writing is done on the PC, although they love to write stories in their copy books.
Besides maths and English, I try to keep up with Dutch with them because they both only speak English at the moment.
I do this by reading Dutch books to them and ask simple questions in Dutch.
We do a lot outdoors, find bugs to identify them, and plants.
The only way this is documented is by pictures.
They both love helping around the kitchen, so we grow some of our own veggies and we forage too.
Both kids help with cooking. Not all the time, but they're pretty good at making pasta, salad and baked goods.
I think that's more than we can say about most 8 and 9 year old kids in school.
A few weeks ago I was telling the kids a few stories of when I lived in Asia and they were very interested to hear what adventures I'd had. So with that in mind, I asked them if they would like to learn more about Asia. They liked the idea.
So we made this into a project.
Some of it was researching, writing, drawing and some other crafts.
Sinatra has shown interest in cryptocurrency and also Steemit, so she sits with me sometimes when I check crypto.
She knows a lot about it already, knows how to read the information about it, what to look for, when it has gone up or down and so on.
Both kids are into online games (Steam) and Keanu especially shows interest for computers, animation and even programming.
So I decided I would get him a raspberry pi for his birthday (next Sunday) so he can start from the beginning.
Again, we are unschooling, so we don't follow any curriculum in particular.
I believe, from what I see with them, that they do plenty and as long as they like what they do, they'll excel in it.
The assessor seemed to think differently...

Pippa looked through the journal that I made especially for their visit, because I really didn't do this at all.
I monitor their work and progress myself and I know them better than anyone so I also know their strengths and weaknesses and what needs more work and what doesn't.
Pippa agreed and told me the work I had to show was good.
Just before the two assessors came, she was telling me that she had a second assessor at her assessment and that she sent one woman out of her house. Pippa had accused her of misconduct in the past and wanted nothing to do with her.
And guess who came to my door? The same woman she was just telling me about.
After the usual greets with us and the kids, the second assessor was very quick to explain to her colleague who Pippa was.
When I asked her what her job description was she answered that she was only there to observe and she was his colleague.
Later I learned from Pippa that she was in fact their team-leader, so their boss, not a colleague.
And observing is not where her involvement stopped either, as she was asking questions as well.
So they lied through their teeth about that. Nice way to start.
Emer (the team-leader) was indeed just writing at first, but later started asking questions when Terry (the assessor) didn't.
What really annoyed me was that she held her one hand in front of the other when she wrote, like a 6 year old who doesn't want his classmate to copy his work. So she had things to hide.
Terry would ask questions and when I asked to explain again, she'd sometimes just repeat the question as if I was some kind of moron. I know my mother language is different from theirs, but I bet my English is better than theirs, especially written.
They somehow kept asking about Keanu's written work, because we had not much to show them as he just ripped up his copy because Sinatra had cut into it with scissors. I had explained this to them. Meanwhile in the background, Keanu kept hammering away on the keyboard of my computer, which in my opinion should have said enough about his writing skills.
But they tend to make everything into a problem. When I told them he could write them a story right there and then, it was ignored. The funny thing is: I could have asked my eldest to hand me her copies with writing done and presented it to them as Keanu's work and it would have been perfectly fine. But showing them right there was ignored.

Going through my journal, they noticed the part when I wrote about Sinatra learning about cryptocurrency and they asked me what it was. One goal for us! They had no clue and the fact that my kids knew more about it than they did, told me something about which rock they'd lived under all this time.
Then the subject of the Raspberry Pi came up and again, there were two blank stares.
An even older rock than I initially thought.
Keanu was explaining to them exactly what it was and what he planned to do with it.

Then they asked if they did any maths besides Khan academy at which point Pippa stepped in and told them that cryptocurrency involved a lot of maths. Again those blank stares and a lot of covered writing.
We showed them the work we'd done with the map and about Asia, which covered geography.
Towards the end we also spoke about their activities outside of the home, like their sports and our plan to start an art group here at our home and a music workshop nearby.
We also mentioned our planned trip to Portugal next month and how this was a great learning experience for them.
They would get in touch with me after deliberation and left.

When I asked Pippa how she thought it went, she said there was nothing she could see that would cause them to take me off the home education register. She also told me that she did a lot of the same kind of work with her kids and that she made it through the assessment fine.

The next day, the assessor called me to tell me that they wanted a comprehensive assessment. His reason was that he 'wasn't sure if my kids were learning enough.' That coming from a man who doesn't know anything about cryptocurrency or a raspberry pi...
A comprehensive basically means that they need to talk to the kids, see more work and need them to do some maths and writing/reading in front of them. A comprehensive assessment can go two ways, 50/50 really and it all depends on the assessor if he thinks it's enough. There are no special guidelines for it.
If he doesn't think the kids learn enough, we'll be taken off the register and this means I will have to send my kids to school or lose them....

I feel that the social worker has a very strong hand in this as she kept telling me how important it was for my kids to attend formal education and have social interaction there...Yeah, because they really get to interact a lot with all the homework they get. The fact that I didn't hear from them for more than six months but now suddenly I did, says enough about their involvement in this.

And this is not where it ends

The social worker pretty much told me that I had to put my youngest in playschool....
Because he had to interact with his age group.
So I decided to attend a mother/toddler group in the area instead to get them off my back.
Of course I have to bring the other two, since they're at home with me.
The group meets at an indoor playground, but the other kids can play outside or sit at the table with me.
There are a total of three other toddlers there with their moms and no one had a problem with the kids being there.
They even liked the fact that Sinatra would help their kids on the slide sometimes.
For two weeks there were no issues whatsoever.
Then I told the family support worker that we were going there when she asked me for the 100th time if I wouldn't consider having a look at the playschool.
The next day was another mother and toddler meetup and this time the lady at the play area told me that I wasn't welcome there anymore if I brought the two kids back there.
So for two weeks they are perfectly fine with them being there, and right after I speak to the family support worker, this happens. If this doesn't smell fishy then I don't know anymore.

What this is telling me is that they are trying their hardest, and with dirty games to try to force me into sending my kids to school. Lucky for me I have a friend nearby who offered to take the two hooligans for the hours when I take the little one to the mother/toddler group. So that's sorted.
But what worries me is their involvement in the assessment for homeschooling of the others.
If they force them to just take us off the register, they will possibly comply and that would make us an even bigger target.
The only school I would even consider is 20 miles away from us (as the others are Catholic schools) and this would put us in a very tough spot financially. So either way, we can't seem to win. Because if our finances are down, this will be over the backs of the children (clothes, food, trips to (sports)clubs, memberships etc.) and they'll have an other reason to keep their foot in the door.
They probably understand exactly the kind of stress they're causing, and I suspect they do it on purpose to see if they can break me.
Not so quick though.
I haven't got the answers to all my questions yet, but hopefully it will come to me soon...

steemi.png

Ho'oponopono

Sort:  

When I told them he could write them a story right there and then, it was ignored.

The blank faces when your children spoke of crypto's and the fact they ignored the offer of a written story, tells me that these people are going by the book and have no intuition or individual thoughts, they are like robots programed to come and bully you and crush your families individuality.

It can't be nice for your family having these visits and it must feel as though their foot is permanently in your door which must be unsettling for you all.

It seems they are looking for a way to take you off the register so be prepared, I am hoping that it never comes to this as I believe it would be very disruptive for your whole family.

I hope you find the answers your looking for and remember your not alone, we stand by you.

Blessing for your whole family.

Agreed, they are trained to become robots and follow instructions and nothing else. They'd be awesome at putting together an IKEA wardrobe but they're crap at anything that involves thinking for themselves. I am preparing for the worst if they keep going with this. Fortunately the home education network here in Ireland is quite extensive and there are people who know all the ins and outs of homeschooling. The thing is that it is our constitutional right to educate our children at home and there are steps one can take if they are removed from the register. But it will involve court etc. so I hope not to get there at all. Just before I started homeschooling my eldest, there was a woman here who was detained for some time because her child was not on the register and not sent to school. Luckily she won her case, but there are enough people who aren't that lucky.
My mind hasn't been in a good place the last few weeks so I started a detox a few days ago. This usually helps me put things back in order in my body and head. Yesterday I experienced flu like symptoms and this always means (for me) that a good clean up is in order, so I was right starting the detox. It helps me to think a bit cleared and leave the ego out of the equation and act from the heart instead. I am amazed by the wonderful community here on Steemit and it means so much to me to have so many people here who care and support me and others in these crappy times. I've only been here a couple of months but it already feels like my extended family. Thank you @markwhittam for listening and all you do here. It is a great and important project and hopefully in the near future I'll be able to lend a helping hand to anyone in similar situations too.

If I understand correctly, the next step would be to take you off that register and that would be the moment to consider your options. The way they're handling this doesn't look encouraging at all so you need to consider the next step for you. If you're not sending them to school, I really think you should have your bags ready.
At this point I don't think this is any consolation to you, but I just wanted to say that your kids sound exactly like my little one. He's also into computers, to the point that he drives you crazy with 'nerdy' stuff. All his math is also done on Khan and, indeed, he's ahead of his years. And whatvever he writes he does it on the computer, althoug he knows how to write on paper. The big difference is that, for the time being, there is no formal law on unschooling or homeschooling so there's no one on our backs. We're flying under the radar hoping it will be years until they do come up with a law.
Good luck to you all!

Oh, I have the bags ready. There is just so much to do before we can actually exit. The dogs need vaccines if we're taking them across borders. The caravan needs some work, but I'm working on that right now. My biggest problem is that my eldest doesn't want to go. If I'd send them to school, it would be in the nearest large town which is still quite far. But it seems to be a nice school with no home work. It's an educate together school. But of course then there is the worry about the car. What if it needs to be repaired? The kids can't go to school then.. It just seems very pointless now but I know I just have to calm down and it will be ok. It's just hard now.

I know you will get through this please remain strong and up to your will. These people are forms of distraction to make you lose focus but you will not give them that chance. I know you will pull through.

Thank you, your support means a lot to me. <3

id kill them

the thought has crossed my mind, believe me...

Wow, that is so crazy what all they can do. I just hate that. I hope that you can keep them off your back. In the US, foster kids must go to public school, even if you homeschool your biological kids. I think this is insane that people think public school is so much better and bully you into doing it just because it's the norm and indoctrination. I know this has to be so scary always wondering when and if they'll just show up. I will keep an eye out for your updated posts.

@apanamamama I think it's like that in a lot of places. Here in Ireland foster kids have to go to public schools too. There are only a few exceptions like when the child is severely autistic or has a disability. I think it's so they can keep an eye on them. A woman I know had all her kids taken from her. She had 5 kids, and I only really know her story and the story of the people who gossip about it...I didn't know her then, so I can't and won't judge her. She admits that she wasn't coping. She had her first child at the age of 16 and her partner wasn't much help to her or the children. It was her sister in law's mother who rang cps. Which is such an evil thing to do. Instead she could have tried to help her...What happened then is the most horrible story I've heard in a long time. They were already in the progress to take her kids from her when she was pregnant of the fifth. The girl was born 6 weeks pre-mature. Something that doesn't surprise me as stress and uncertainty can do that. She was then kept in the hospital for another six weeks and then released because the doctors said she was fine. The woman brought the baby home and had a visit from the social workers the very next day. They then told her she had neglected her baby, that she was too light and small for her age...She told them that she was in the care of the hospital so that she didn't have much to do with the care for her daughter and that they released the baby. The next week she found her lifeless baby in her crib. She had passed away from what they said was cot death. On the day of her daughters funeral, the social workers came to take her other 4 kids....I cried my heart out for her, I just can't believe there are people who are that heartless in the world that they wouldn't even give the family proper time to mourn over the death of a child/sibling and comfort each other. Her sister in law now has custody of the kids. Last year, I was going to see my physiotherapist who's in the same office as a family doctor in the area. When I parked my car, there was a car beside us with 3 kids in it. Her kids...and her mom. I was wondering about that. When I came back out, an hour later, the car and the kids were still there. I thought the foster mother must have been in the doctors office with the youngest child and didn't want the hassle of three more kids with her. The most disturbing thing though was that it was January, it was cold and the car wasn't running...But it's obviously fine to do this when you foster...Try to do it with your own kids. Who on earth leaves three young children in a car for more than an hour? In the cold...It doesn't matter that the mother was there...I think it's nuts. She could have left the kids home with her mom instead of leaving them like that. It broke my heart to see this while their own mother is only allowed to see them for one hour every two weeks, under supervision.

Oh man. That is truly a very sad story. I am sad for that mother and definitely not good that the mother of the sil called instead of offering to help. Some people just don't think about what could happen. Very strange that the kids were in the car that long. I can't imagine what they are going through or the poor mom. So sad. These stories are all too frequent...it's scary.

Yes, very sad indeed. Of course I didn't know her then, but I know her now and can honestly say that she's done everything they asked her to do and more to try to get at least unsupervised visits. The court system is not in her favour either. After the last court date, she'd truly done anything she could. She was doing a course, trying hard to find work (which she has now) and getting a more stable life...and it still wasn't enough. Because the courts are crap here too, it was all for nothing and she won't even be able to appeal or anything. At this stage the judge just says that the children have been with their foster mother for so long, it would be upsetting for them to move back. So there is truly no chance for her to ever get them back. What's even more sad is that her ex gets to see the kids whenever he wants as it is his sister who has them now. But she has to live with the fact that she only gets to see them an hour every fortnight. It is so unfair, to her and her kids. I don't know how she gets through each day. And yes, the woman who made the call is a horrible person. This is not the only time she's pulled a stunt like that. She actually went to see the cops for her own son! Because he had been caught smoking cannabis with some friends (he was 17). I couldn't imagine hanging my own kids like that. If there is a problem, we try our best to solve it within the family. I would never call the cops for something that a lot of teens that age would have tried...It's not like he killed someone. And yes, that story with them in the car for such a long time...I still think about it. I also remember their faces. Two of her kids know me and waved at me, but their faces told me enough. There was no sparkle or sign of happiness...There was just sadness. Heartbreaking...

I don't know what it is like ion Ireland, but in the USA there are attorneys who charge a reasonable monthly fee and when the parent has to confront social services, they handle it. It makes a big difference, as the social workers cannot intimidate them and they do not want to go above the law and get sued. I know this from seeing their advert on the web, as I live in S Africa. My best wishes are with you. I did a number of upvotes, adding some to your comments, so as to increase your total, but being a newbie, they are not worth much.

Awe thank you @arthur.grafo that means a lot to me. Here in Ireland we don't have anything like the attorneys you describe in the US unfortunately. My ex's sister is a law professor at a university here and I did consult her. She told me that hiring a lawyer can make it seem like there is something to hide here, so she didn't advise it. However it is great to have someone like her that knows the law in and out. She's got my back. Problem here is that they like to bend the law to their own purpose...even judges do this. It's hard to get used to, but it's the way it is for the moment...So at this stage, I'm just laying low and nod a lot, which seems helpful, even though most of the time I just want to punch them in the face...And that's something coming from me, I'm usually not aggressive at all. Thank you for reading and your input.

I hope you keep us informed, there are many of us waiting to hear - and hoping the news will be good. All my best wishes.

I am so sorry for your troubles. Your children sound wonderful and I do hope you find a way to work it all out. I think you should really consider your options and maybe leave while you still can. This situation is frightening, but just know that you are doing the RIGHT thing and that you and your children are bigger than this and you will get through this.
Good luck!

Thank you. My kids are great :) But it's a struggle each day to keep the stress out of the house and they are affected by it. I believe children feel if the parent is stressing and respond to that. In my case, they're being a bit wilder than usual. So I'm trying to keep as calm as possible, because if not, their behaviour adds to the stress and that's the last thing we need. The situation is crap and I have to keep reminding myself that stressing about it isn't helping at all. Thank you for your support, it means a lot to have so many great people here who care and understand.

One of the most important things I've noticed about official interventions like these is that if you want to keep from getting completely dragged through the mud, you have to play their game to a certain extent.

In this case...document, document, document.

You may need to rethink the plan of unschooling and get the kids enrolled in an online curriculum even if you aren't ready to build one yourself. Again, the goal here is to keep your kids with you under your care and get the State out of your business. An online curriculum is going to be a million times better than the kids completely off somewhere else like a school. If you try to convince officialdom that an unstructured approach to schooling is what you intend to do, they almost always hear "lazy, unprepared, not taking this seriously." At the very least, being more structured will help a great deal in any potential legal situation.

I would be pretty mad about the whole "playgroup" thing. Furious, actually. But that's beside the point. For your sanity and the best outcome of your situation, you're going to need to swallow the ire, present neat copies of what your kids are doing, and show some serious organization. If someone's really interested in making an example out of you, this won't help. But nine times out of ten, the thing that usually brings them down even harder on you will be showing any attitude like annoyance and not presenting them the information their computer-like minds need to see to go somewhere else.

I'm sorry you're going through this! Being questioned on what you're doing to take the best care of your children is infuriating and wrong.

Wow, this makes me feel fortunate to homeschool in England! This would infuriate me - what an invasion of your privacy! I have had two 'visits' here and actually I could have refused them as they don't have a right to visit as such here. They were very nice but we still found it invasive and thus very tiring. I could write a lot about socialisation in school vs home ed socialisation and I find home ed MUCH healthier. Schools - even nice ones - are essentially an institutionalised environment and just from my observations I see a lot of very unhealthy socialisation there. It encourages single age socialisation for a start which is not a natural human state and not how we are then expected to interact with the wider world (that contains all ages!) when we leave school. I would thus have a great deal to say to the person insisting your pre-schooler comes away from the nurture of your family and possibly extended friend group and into a single aged preschool group. I'm fired up - I love Ireland - shall I come over and sort them out?! Despite knowing nothing of Irish home ed law lol!
Seriously, ranting aside, I wish you all the luck, skill and perseverance you need to get them off your backs. I don't know what it's like there but sometimes I think it's about being able to tell them what they want to hear. Do you have good forums and groups there that can help you with that? Best wishes.

The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @misslasvegas to be original material and upvoted it!

ezgif.com-resize.gif

To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!

To enter this post into the daily RESTEEM contest, upvote this comment! The user with the most upvotes on their @OriginalWorks comment will win!

For more information, Click Here! || Click here to participate in the @OriginalWorks sponsored writing contest(125 SBD in prizes)!!!
Special thanks to @reggaemuffin for being a supporter! Vote him as a witness to help make Steemit a better place!

Coin Marketplace

STEEM 0.15
TRX 0.15
JST 0.028
BTC 53622.13
ETH 2208.05
USDT 1.00
SBD 2.29