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RE: The True Reality We Face
Yes, I have read about this boy and it's horrific. My stomach turns even just to think about what he has been going through before he died. But what you're pointing out here, isn't it perfectly showing that CPS is hardly EVER doing their job right? They take kids from parents when they definitely shouldn't, or meddle in their lives unnecessarily and cause a lot of stress and other things. And then when they should step in, that's when they don't!
It's extremely rare to find a case where CPS removed kids when they shouldn't have. Those cases usually make national headlines because the parents fight through the court system to rectify the situation and clear their names. Why do those parents fight?....because they know they were good parents to begin with, they know they don't have anything to hide. Family, friends and co workers come to testify about their good character and that's why when they go see a lawyer they will take the case. It's called character, it's called putting your kids first
I never claimed CPS gets it right every time, I know they don't but far more parents are out there killing and neglecting kids then CPS is making mistakes.
You obviously only know one side of this subject. They have in the past and still do removed MANY children for no reason whatsoever, or reasons that would never justify a child to be removed if not for our (whether it is the US or most other countries) corrupt justice system. If the children are not removed, chances are that the families are endlessly harassed to a point where they lose their jobs, their money and sometimes even their homes. And all of that while the people working for CPS are supposedly working in a child's best interest. Now, I'm not sure about you, but in my opinion it is never in a child's best interest that their family loses everything and then have to live in poverty.
And those cases you're speaking of, those that make it to court? Again, those families are torn apart for I don't know how long. Sometimes months or years even before there is a judge who returns the children to them. How much trauma did they have to suffer by then? And after that, even IF it would be possible to sue CPS for damages, no one can ever give back lost time. And then you mention media, those court cases that make national headlines. They're scarce. And even then, the media hardly ever tells the real truth. Even in this case with baby Noah. And don't get me wrong, what happened here is truly horrific and can't be justified. But looking at the article in itself already gives me some clues to dig deeper.
One of the things that stood out to me was that they mention how the mother (if you can call her that) was smoking POT with friends. That made me think to investigate how the laws in her state are regarding this. Turns out: it's illegal to smoke recreational cannabis. So there's definitely an agenda if you ask me. From the media/government point of view. Secondly, this woman clearly had BIG problems. Bigger than smoking pot. This is something the CPS workers didn't catch. Who knows, maybe this woman didn't have anyone to help her with anything. Maybe she was truly on her own. Again, it doesn't justify her actions, but it would surely shine a different light on the situation. Besides blaming the 'bad parents' I believe we should also have a look at society and the system altogether. There is hardly any help for people with problems. And when you're a single parent, you're pretty much on your own. And it's a fact that CPS singles out 'weak cases' and targets those the most, like single parents, parents with out of the ordinary life-styles etc.
Personally, I've been harassed by a CPS worker for more than a year now. For NO good reason whatsoever. I'm a single mother and we live a life out of the ordinary. My kids are homeschooled, we live rural. That alone is a reason to raise concerns. That alone is what warranted the 'investigation' into our lives. Not because there was a real concern, but because I didn't live in a way she would live if she had children (she doesn't, something that shouldn't be allowed to work in CPS if you ask me). Now I didn't lose my children, but she sure as hell tried. I was lucky enough to have an awesome support network in the form of friends and family who were behind me every step out of the way. Also a sister in law who knows the law in and out. And now the tables are turned and there is an investigation going about her.... Is this justice? No, absolutely not. This past year has cost me nearly $25,000 in lost wages and costs I had to make to jump through her hoops. I lost so much valuable time with my kids, because I had to jump through those hoops. I wasn't myself most of the time, because I was constantly on edge when she'd come around, because she either completely twisted my words or blatantly lied. SHE was BOUND to take my kids, because she had already made up her mind before she even knew me. I was lucky (and it isn't over yet) but many others aren't.
Here in Ireland (CPS is pretty much the same everywhere) if a case comes in front of the judge and the parents fight it, they only have a number of times, after that, it's over. So many kids placed in foster care, just because their parents weren't allowed to fight anymore. And that's justice? I highly doubt it.
I used to live in Las Vegas, and my neighbours across the road were two crack heads with two young children. They would leave their 4 year old son and 2 year old daughter play outside in the dirt, during the hot afternoons while they were strung out inside. I brought them to my house a few times and they didn't even notice they were gone! The place where they played was right next to a busy road. The number of times people in the apartment complex called the cops and cps on those people was unreal. Once, there was a CPS worker in the area for a visit with my next door neighbour. Who, by the way, was an excellent hardworking single mother, who always put her daughter first. The ONLY reason why she was investigated (and endlessly harassed) was because the 13 year old girl had a bruise that she got during gym class. The school didn't believe her (the girl!) and called CPS. They came, found a single mother and BAM! foot in the door. If a 6ft8 tall man with tattoos would have opened the door, they wouldn't have bothered with them (which was the case with those crack heads). Anyway, one day she came around and we asked her why nothing was being done about those kids...She answered: they couldn't do anything because nothing had happened to the children... Now, you tell me how do you see this picture?
A woman who's daughter has a bruise, from gym class, is investigated for months and then harassed for another few. Gets NO help offered, only orders. Stress for nothing. Almost lost her job as a nurse over it. While on the other side of the street, there are kids visibly neglected and ignored and who knows what else, and they do nothing. Wow. They're really good at their jobs...
And foster care? Well, that's a whole different ball game altogether. My old best friend was taken into foster care and they drove her to her death. CPS and the home she was in. They killed her and I believe that's called murder. Was there justice for her? No, absolutely not. The CPS worker kept her job and was even promoted not long after her death. My friend's name forever tarnished and her family torn apart. Nothing could ever justify that.
I am really sorry for all you had to pass through @misslasvegas, I complete feel for you and understand everything you are trying to say. I and my husband had to struggle with this people for many months. I can't begin to mention the hell we passed through, most time I think about it and all I can do is shed a tear.
I just wrote a narrative on my blog some minutes ago titled "Abridged Steps To Lose Your Child For Dummies." based on actual invents and parents I met while battling CPS.
CPS are hell bound to frustrate parents for trivia reasons. I am so happy you still have your kids. Your fight for your kids was worth every last drop of sweat you gave. I hope people get to see CPS for whom they are.
Oh @misslasvegas. I wish that this woman would actually read what you wrote with understanding and compassion. Instead she keeps telling people here on Steemit who have had their children removed by CPS or who have been harassed by them, that they must have deserved it and/or it didn't really happen.
So don't waste any more time on her if she comes back with another insulting reply.
You and Regina here both hit the nail on the head.
Often, when children SHOULD be removed from their parents they are not.
Often, when children should stay with their parents, they are removed.
CPS seems to constantly do the wrong thing for the child.
Yes, sometimes they do get it right. In sunlit7's case they apparently got it right and took her from her abusive parents and put her in decent foster homes. It is sad that she can not understand that her story is not the only true story. Other people have true stories too and she has no business telling people like you and Regina that you are both liars.
Stay strong and don't let bullies like her get you down.
Well as I said in my comment too, I think if you've only been on one side and only seen it from that point of view, there's no one who'd convince you. I'd say that's the case here. She's been lucky, it could have been completely different and then she would have been writing her story here. Luckily it wasn't.
And no worries, I don't feel like I'm being bullied :) Everyone deserves an opinion. This is mine.
I guess that I'm overly protective of people like you who have been abused by the system. You are right that she has not bullied you -- yet. We will see her response though once she reads your personal story.
I know what to expect given past encounters with her and her desire to slander @familyprotection and myself.
I just wish that people could listen to other people's experiences, and take them into consideration.
Mocking people who have had a different experience than you is not right. Clarification and debate is good -- mocking and ridicule is not.
This is a list that I once made of all the CPS and Foster Care stories collected on Steemit alone.
https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@canadian-coconut/cps-and-foster-care-abuses-index-of-published-stories-now-on-the-steemit-blockchain
There are SO MANY people sharing similar stories to yours. I have made it my mission to get these stories heard by creating @familyprotection.
I know you are protective @canadian-coconut, that's one of the reasons why I have so much respect for you. And that list, it's endless if we'd add it all up. I just always try to view things from both sides. In her case, she's been abused by those who were supposed to protect and love her, that has to have had an impact. The man with the hammer sees nails everywhere... And the other way around, because of our experiences, we see it completely different and more and more evidence is now being shown that prove that cases like mine don't stand alone. Unfortunately, CPS workers are state workers and most just don't give a damn about anything but their career or paycheck. There's no other way or they wouldn't tear families apart when they've done nothing wrong. But I absolutely agree, Steemit is meant for open discussions with respect, not name calling and ridiculing others. That should be kept in Facebook or Twitter...
Maybe I should add the same statement at the end of any further posts of mine about CPS that I used to add to posts I wrote discussing vaccines.
The discussions surrounding vaccines could get pretty heated, but I always kept in mind that parents on BOTH sides (pro or anti) love their children dearly.
I maintain that assumption about the person debating or arguing with me, unless it gets bad like it did one time when someone said that they wanted my children to die. That was when I created that statement and after that most of the debating was respectful on all sides.
The first time I remember seeing sunlit7 was when she left many terrible comments about me on my post about why I started @familyprotection. She said that I was the type of person who wants poor children to live on the streets.
https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@canadian-coconut/my-history-with-familyprotection-and-why-i-am-involved
After that, I saw her use our fp tag to write out her story of childhood abuse and growing up in foster care. Mark Whittam was going to upvote and resteem it until I pointed out her poor behaviour towards me.
Anyways, I guess that I will go back to ignoring her again. It will be great when Steemit Inc is done creating the Communities Feature so that @familyprotection can be a safe place for people to share their stories without feeling attacked.
You just wish people could listen to other people's experiences and take them into consideration? I've done that several times on here, in my opinion I've given many more people support and consideration then you've given me. (just me I am talking about)
Thats because a lot of time you are combative and or trying to judge and or discredit Familyprotection members, including canadian-coconut. Its terrible, straighten your act out and apologize.
I am not apologizing for nothing, you know nothing about my life, you can go see my reply to Snowpea (to whom I have a lot of admiration for) on here to better understand where I am coming from.
Thank you, I really appreciate the fact you think everyone deserves an opinion. I have a lot of stories, stories of loss, stories that tug at the heart but I also have stories of success and blessing from being in foster care not just of myself but offspring of my siblings who've been saved by foster care. Here though you only get rewarded for hate, I can't just write the hateful parts, it does not complete the picture, if I wrote the other parts it would be a waste of my time because I'd never get rewarded for that effort. Family protection encompasses the bad with the good, there's no one way street despite how they try and sell it on here. Once again, thank you for the opportunity to speak, I will look more in depth tomorrow at your other replies as it will be to time consuming for me tonight but it will not be forgotten, every side is important.
Thank you @canadian-coconut, there is always a two side to all narratives, CPS's narrative always leans to the Worst interest of the Child and then a little rear cases of sanity.
If only this woman can step out of her comfort zone, leave her computer and censored news and meet real people out there.
@reginagraced, very true. There are always two stories...or more even when there are kids involved. What I think happens with CPS workers is that a lot of them do start their career for all the right reasons and because they truly care for children. But somehow in the long run, they get flattened out and lose touch with what it was that started them off to begin with. You can see it in hospitals, with nurses and doctors. And you can see it with public servants. Most cops don't start out because they want to be bullies, but a lot of them become bullies because of the people they're with every day. I see it in my own sister, she's a psychiatric nurse. I remember her telling me about work one day and me wondering when she lost touch with her humanity...
Hello Sunlit7,
)
Atleast before you come up with such a loud claim, please, make some REAL research!. Not reading some weak un-encompassing blog or site.
(
Have you been into a juvenile dependency court before?
Have seen their process and means?
Have you seen what happens to children in the foster care?
If you haven't, then I suggest you do!.
Go out, talk to Real People. And make your Actual findings.