My son was Taken away by CPS!
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When a mother comes to the DCF to get help for her child, who is in need of services, [CHINs] in the technical terms, usually she would expect to be helped right then and there to stop any further issues. RIght? Wrong! I went to "them" when my son was in the 5th grade, he was having behavioural issues and he needed help. I tried to put him on the probation program here, but the day I went in they were closed. So that is why I went to DCF because it is in the same campus. I wanted, needed help. He needed me to find him help. So I did what I thought best. I took him into the CPS office to find it. We were being told they couldn't do anything. I told them I will not leave until I talk to someone about our troubles. That is what you are here for, to service society, you are social services, please help serve our family. I was taken to the back to talk to their counselor, I told her of the issues my son was having. She took all the info down she needed to get him going in counseling, i filled out paperwork. They told me they would start comingto the school to talk to him, because I figured, since it was a school issues, we could ALL work together to get things going to get my son on the right page so to speak. Well the counselor came to the school two times, nothing more nothing less. She never called me to tell me this or that. I never heard anything again, My son told me she only came to the school the two times and was not really helpful. I moved and took him to another school in town, there, he was a different student, never in trouble, did his work, no problems. Even came in 2nd on the school spelling bee! He was doing better, so I thought.
Then we get to sixth grade, I moved us to an even better school district, he was upset it wasn't with the same kids he had already known. I started getting phone calls from the school no sooner than he started. He was telling me he would do whatever it took to get kicked out of that school! I worked with the school once again trying to come up with a plan to help him want to apply himself. He got in so much trouble, he was basically taken out of school because I was not able to get in and go to work, or I would get phone calls telling me to come pick him up he is at it again. I stopped working, and have not been back to work since, this was the beginning of last year. I finally just had enough, and no one was helping our family, as many of you may know I just now finally got my license for the first time, and I didn't have a car, where I moved to is not quite on the bus line, and I have lung problems that have been steadily getting worse as time goes by, so I was limited not by anyone, but by myself, I did this. I was the blame. I wanted to help that is all.
I put my son in homeschooling. I signed him up for an online learning curriculum and at first, last year, it went well. He did what he was supposed to do and still had behaviour issues, but wasn't as defiant. Then he started getting in trouble with the police. I asked for help, I begged for help. WHAT CAN I DO? PLEASE HELP ME? I would get the referalls to all the departments locally who could offer help. I called plenty of them. I didn't call however, the meridian services because I do not want my son to be treated with psychotropic drugs. I do not believe they help I do not want my son to be a zombie, I want my son to be in good health, able to think freely. I want him to be helped. I kept asking each department. and each department would try to refer us to Meridian Services. i WOULD NOT COMPLY! My brother was on Ritalin as a child and he got worse as time went by, I do not want that to happen to my son.
This year he has been in trouble in more ways than I can count. I am now being held on neglect charges for his not attending school, even though I provided information to the case worker that he was enrolled in an online program. That was not discussed in court yesterday. My son was taken from me and placed in the YOC, now they are telling me he can't go to their school because he doesn't go to any of the local schools. So I asked them why are they putting him more behind, just to once again be waved away. I am fighting with myself right now about this. Yes, he has behaviour issues, yes, he had school issues. Yes, he needs help, which I came to find on our own with no results. So here we are facing these charges. I was told we were going to court over his behaviour, but nope, it was against me. Now they are trying to get my and his absent father on child support! I'm over fighting. I wanted help when I went through their doors two years ago.
So now I am trying to find out what to do. My family is hurting right now. I can barely function, I have never been away from my child like this. Not able to see him, not able to hold him or say I love you. I just wanted to help him get better. I finally got my car and the day I was legally on the road. I got the call to bring him in for a discussion, which again was tricked into. I was told it was to come up with a plan for him. If I would have known it was to remove him from my care under the pretenses of neglect, I would have never walked in those doors. I am so angry, my thoughts are all over the place, as you can see.
At court my voice wasn't heard. I was told to shut up more than 5 times. I was threatened with contempt. I was told by the CPS worker, who I was friends with in school, that this was all about his behaviour, just for the lie to continue, she needed log in information for his schooling. At that moment when we first made contact with her I could not provide it. I did however, get it over to her through an email with all the detailed assignments and attendence. That was not in her report, she never spoke of my getting her the information, then I tried to tell the judge I sent her emails of this information just to be told to shut up or I would be arrested. Of course, I didn't think I needed a lawyer at this time. I was dead wrong, and the thing is I knew better in the back of my mind, but thought I was going to be ok, that finally we were getting the help we needed. It could have been done so differently.
I have two children at home, one is in YOC, one is home, I feel this way, why is one child removed and not the other? If I am neglectful to one, would I not be to the other? It just doesn't make sense, the only thing I can think of is the funding they would get for him being both a CHINs and a "juvenile delinquint". The town we live in is ran by the justice system. It is corrupt and has been proven with many of the officers of the law and within the politics of it all. I am stuck wating for an answer yet again. I feel I was lied to just so they could get my son out of the home. Again, I do not deny he had problems. I do not deny he needed help. That is what I wanted all along. I asked them if we could come up with a better plan and not have him removed, that I finally have the means to get him around to find the real help. I was told to shut up again. I was treated like I had just murdered my child, not brought him to get help.
My heart is too full right now. I know this is not the details of everything, but this was all on my heart and I need some insight from the people on steemit who I know can help with something, an answer, a link. something. I am asking you to help me not with finances but with compassion and loving support. I need to know what to do next.
This is so horrible! I am so sorry that this is happening to you and your son.
One thing that I have learned is to NEVER ask them for help and NEVER accept their help. I saw a close friend of mine accept the 'help' of a housekkeeper from them, only to have the housekkeeper let Social Workers into the house so that they could scour it for evidence to use against her. They pretended that they cared. It is just a ploy.
And if you read this post of mine, it showcases another frightening example of how the simple act of accepting a housekkeeper got a baby taken away from her loving parents.
https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@canadian-coconut/when-kidnapped-children-get-adopted-familyprotection-series-tammy-s-story
I wish I had the knowledge and resources to help you get out of this mess right now. I hope that you can glean some helpful advice.
Thank-you so much for being BRAVE enough to tell your story here.
The thing is I knew better and have read so many stories, but I trusted this specific worker because I knew her through out my child hood, I guess I thought someone was finally trying to help with the behaviours, only to be let down. Thank you for the link I am in and out today trying to get things situated. @tecnosgirl told me i should look into getting a lawyer, but as I said earlier I'm not working, just so much going through my mind right now...
Can you apply for what we call "Legal Aid" here in Canada? Low income people have their lawyer paid for if they are facing any criminal charges or CPS involvment.
What US State are you in?
How disgusting that your childhood friend treated you this way. I guess that the system has corrupted her and turned her to "the dark side."
Yes that is what @tecnosgirl was telling me to do. I just couldn't remember what it was called. I am in Indiana. I have an appointment Monday to talk with someone. Hopefully they pull her from my case because I am not at all happy with the results. I just hope it goes by and he gets home and we can get back on the road to happiness.
Tell them you have known her nearly all your life and you think her being on the case is conflict of interest. They wouldn't let L be M's therapist because she knew me. They should not let T be D's caseworker for the same reason.
I told them today I wanted her taken off our case for those reasons, they said it should be taken care of...we will see...
I can't imagine how you are feeling right now. I feel for you, and your son, who must be very confused and alone without his mother.
They lied to get you in that room only to kidnap your son, they are nothing but criminals who lie and cheat so they can keep the numbers up!
They go after the weak and vulnerable, you needed help and they saw an opportunity, it makes me sick.
I wish I had the magic answer, all I can say is that I hope you can gather the strength needed to do whatever it takes to get your son back, play it smart and don't underestimate yourself. You have the power inside you, all you need now is the knowledge so that you can walk in there with confidence and whatever paperwork you need to get your son back.
Find someone who knows the law where you live, it doesn't have to be a lawyer just someone who knows how to deal with the legal kidnappers.
I hope someone reading this will know how to connect you with the right person.
If possible please keep us updated
Bless.
They sure did and also told me he could call me friday night and nope nothing all day yesterday i waited at home by my phone and still nothing. I called the yoc to find out when he can talk to me and now am being told i have to do an intake for parents sure wish they told me when he was taken!
Thank you for the encouragement I will know more tomorrow and will certainly keep everyone updated!
I got to visit my son today and went into the dcf office to talk to someone about my case, I am hoping they take my former friend offour case. I also talked to a family advocate and was told she would take all the info I have given her and she will be back with me soon. Hopefully she comes back with more answers than I have right now. I wanted to keep you updated.
First: you need a lawyer ASAP.
Second: this is pretty awful. It's tough enough tearing your hair out about what to do without someone taking your son.
Third: take notes and recordings about everything you can. I f you're in court, turn your phone on to record proceedings.
Fourth: you may want to get and read Deborah Frontiera's book Fighting CPS It might give you some ideas about what's going on and what to do next.
You have a different situation than ones I'm typically aware of, so I don't have advice from experience...but I'm so sorry. And I'm nursing at the keyboard, so this is going to sound a little briefer than usual.
Thank you. I am looking into what i can do about it all. I am definitely trying to find someone who can take this case on not sure about how it all works. I am thankful for this advice and will be looking into the book thank you again for your help. I appreciate it so much.
I wish I could give you answers, but I can't unfortunately. I feel for you and your family. A lot.. I hope someone can come up with some good advice in your situation, and I hope that you will be reunited very very soon. It's a shame that they treated you like this in court, disgusting.. Can you even talk to your son while he is taken? I am so sorry this is happening to you while you just wanted help for your son... take care!
Thank you. I am hoping to talk to him tonight. I finally got someone to answer my questions on visiting and phone calls. I appreciate your comments thank you again. I will hopefully find out more on monday
I do hope you will talk to him tonight, that will relief some stress I think.. Keep us updated please ok? Take care ..
I will definitely do that, THANK YOU! I am charging my phone waiting on the ring!
Also keep a notepad document everything, record conversations if you can whether they want you to or not. Time, date, place phone number all that stuff start time of discussion and end time of discussion, what there name is and what their title is. Go into detective mode and track everything. Who was in the court, the judges name the names of the CPS people and their lawyers, all of it. Keep track of it all.
I totally agree with this, I kept notes of everything.. And please try to file them so you can find it quickly when you need it. I had so many things on my mind, not only with those horror CPS persons but also stalking at the same time, that for me it was sometimes impossible to organize it in a good way. So at one point I had notes everywhere (phone, laptop, paper etc) If you can manage to organize from the start, this will be a real help later one when you need evidence in the right order for in court .. It seems stupid to write down some things, but even the things that may not seem important now (f.e. a person that is very friendly to you and tells you something what you should do..) that may be very relevant later on, as this person may have given the wrong info? It's just an example, but to make it easier for yourself, this advice @bashadow gave is really an important one and I can speak from experience.. Did you speak to your son yesterday @charisma777 ? I really hope so...
Thank you! I will keep this in mind!V I did not get to talk to him at all. I am supposed to do intake first but found this out when it was too late, going in tomorrow to do that, then i will see him.
Thank you bashadow I will definitely be recording my next conversations. My front door will also be getting a note placed telling any who enter are under surveillance.
I don't know where to turn to for help or anything like that charisma777, https://steemit.com/@richq11 he just got through having to deal with CPS (I think he is in Texas but not sure), since his incident was very recent, he may have some useful information or Ideas on how to help. Here is a link https://steemit.com/familyprotection/@richq11/cps-and-me-it-s-over-it-s-over-it-s-over-a-message-of-hope He has had a long battle with them but it ended good for him and kayla.
I wish there was more I could do, but I just don't know how to help. If you need to chat at someone on line to pass time, I am here.
I appreciate your help!Thank you bashadow.
We've talked privately about this @charisma777, butI wanted to stress again that if you need anything, or simply an ear to vent to, I'm here for you! Seeing a lawyer is the best move right now! Keep fighting (of course you will), and like I said before, you can always come hide out in Mexico!
I sent you a private message with an offer to help from @terminallyill!! He's a great guy and knows some lawyers and other information for you. I'm putting this here as well as the private message in the hopes that you see it for sure!
Thank you @lynncoyle1! @charisma777 please do not hesitate to reach out to me if theres anything I can do. Im on Discord as well as LuckyDev#1969
CPS is a dreadful system and they make it almost impossible to get out once you are in it. They are never there to help, but more to destroy. Everytime I hear them breaking up a family, my heart bleeds. I am sorry you are going through this when all you were needing was a way to make things work and be better for your son. A distorted system indeed. I don't know if he is able to help, but maybe try talking to @wwf. He has helped a very good friend of mine. Fighting that system takes a lot of knowledge. Research your rights. I hope your son comes home soon and that all of you can get things back to normal.
The thing is I know better, I was placed as a child more than once, but the tactics they used were to make me trust them that they were finally helping my son. I should have known it wasn't for that reason specifically. I appreciate your concern! Thank you, I pray we get through this soon.
I'm with you there, I pray it ends in your favor and fast!
I am so sorry to hear this @charisma777... It is terrible what is happening... I don't have any ideas on what to do either, but I do have hope. I believe that you are a good mother and that you love your son. I am happy to see others here have at least seen your story and might be able to give you good advice.
My heart is with you and please keep hope alive. You have a voice and hopefully in time your story will get told.
Thank you davemccoy you definitely are right, I do love my son, and that was why I was getting him help in the first place, rather, getting us help... I have tried for so long just for them to make it look like I had no intentions of getting him or our family help. It sickens me that they went the route they did. But I will get through this, I am too head strong to let this get our family down. I will fight as much as I have to to get my point across to these not so helpful people. Thank you for your help. I am very hopeful.
awesome... as long as you keep hope, then I know you will win! Btw I don't know if you have reached out to @terminallyill... I heard he has a few thoughts that might help you.
Keep your head up and let us know how you are doing!