Although I do not fully buy into the idea of New Year's resolutions, I have been thinking about a part of my life I want to improve on. I want to be a "family first" kinda guy, and to be more specific I want to have an "authentic presence" in the life of my wife and kiddos.

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I Am Not That Bad, Am I?

I would not call myself an absentee father. And I am pretty sure that my wife and my kiddos would say that I am a present husband and father. But when we do not strive toward making meaningful change in our lives, we often grow complacent. And then complacency leads to inaction, and inaction leads to a decline.

I don't want to stand still in this part of my life. I want to engage deeply and more meaningfully each and every day.

Great Start To The Year

Today was a great day. I had the day off so our time as a family was even more focused than usual. My wife and I watched Crazy Rich Asians. We enjoyed some laughs as we caught some of the subtle nuances of the film. As we watched, we missed southeast Asia (a part of the world we had lived in for over 10 years) Singapore was our go-to location for visa runs. Because my wife needs quality time, I have to be intentional to meet that need in her life. Sometimes a movie can be what she needs, sometimes not. Even though we have been married for 17 years, I am still a student of who she is.

We played several rounds of 7 Wonders. Our family really likes to play board games and cards game so it was fun to introduce this game to my wife and oldest daughter. I borrowed from a guy at work.

We watched plays starring a few of our dancing princesses and viewed artwork that had been created throughout the day.

As I think back over the last 24 hours, I can honestly say that my heart is filled.

But What About Tomorrow?

Tomorrow starts the normal grind again. We still live together in the same home. We still will eat at the same table. We still will shuffle around the same space as we get ready in the morning and as we prepare for bed.

But if we are not intentional, we will run around all day being around each other, but we not being with each other. And what concerns me, even more, is what if I was not asking this question? How many people (fathers, mothers, husbands, and wives) have grown complacent and don't even know they should be wanting more?

My Next Steps

Being family-first requires action. The following are just a few of things I want to focus on as I continue to push towards a family first lifestyle:

• When my wife speaks, I want to give her my eyes, my ears, and my heart.
• When my daughters want to show me their plays and artwork, I want to be a student of their creations.
• I want my family to receive more of my time and energy than my smartphone.
• I want to spend more time on activities that improve creativity instead of dulling my senses, both for myself and as a family.
• I want to spend time developing myself spiritually so that I can lead my family well.

Final Thoughts

I want to focus on gradual changes that I can make in my life that allow me to be a better husband and father. I want to be present and engaged. I want to fill up my family's love tanks and meet their love needs.

I can't be content will standing still. I want to press forward. I need to grow.

I would love to hear from you.

• How are you engaging your spouse and/or children?
• If you were being completely honest, are you in decline, maintaining, or making progress in this part of your life?

Thanks​ for stopping by!

@SumatraNate