Wedding Day!

in #family7 years ago

Yesterday was my wedding day, I married Jared Schelvan. Jared's mother decorated her back yard and deck with pretty fall decor. Jared's dad performed the ceremony as he is an ordained minister and we completed the nuptials just minutes before it started raining. Each of the children walked down the stairs and gave me a flower to add to my bouquet. It was beautiful! C360_2017-10-14-12-00-36-835.jpg We kept it pretty low key because we had, in fact, been married before, over 10 years ago. We have 5 kids together!! C360_2017-10-14-11-57-57-742.jpg There truly is nothing remarkable about two people reconciling and getting remarried. People do it all the time, aside from the fact that this was Jared about a year ago... Screenshot_20171003-130352.png This was when he was arrested for maintaining a drug house. You see, we both strayed from the Lord. After my 5th child I had some post-partum issues and things got ugly between us. After about a year of not getting along I took the kids and left. A few weeks later someone offered him one of the most destructive and addictive substances of all time. Crystal meth. 0ef3e682288508391394d4e6bd477f94.jpg Within weeks he was a totally different person. I had already filed for divorce, after living with my step-sister and mother, I ended up in a women's shelter because of his erratic and stalking behavior. I had to call social services, and he wound up only being able to have supervised visits with the children. He adopted a neighborhood vigilante persona and was completely out of his mind. received_511586682539888.jpeg FB_IMG_1502284665664.jpg FB_IMG_1502284648978.jpg I took out a restraining order. He broke it and ended up in jail for the following: felony bond breaking, felony maintaining a drug house, felony theft of a firearm, felony possession of a firearm, and disorderly conduct. By the time he was in jail I lost everything. So did he. FB_IMG_1505577672549.jpg I left pretty much with nothing but the kids and some clothes, and before anything was settled in court he had pawned everything of value and our house was in ruins. There were squatters there even with him in jail and the police couldn't do anything about it until it was awarded to me in court, and it was. It was trashed but I still wanted it. I wanted something familiar for the kids to come back to after everything that happened with their father. So we put in the hard work, with the help of friends, family and community, to fix up the house and pull it out of foreclosure. (After I went with the police to kick out the squatters, that is) Everything was fixed up by Christmas, which was my goal. On top of that the police department and women's shelter provided gifts to the kids so we could have a real Christmas!! C360_2016-12-25-07-54-18-500.jpg Nonetheless perhaps you can see the pain in their little lives and little eyes at that time. Jared began calling me from jail, apologizing left and right for all he had done. Saying he changed. I was already dating someone else at that time, and besides, how could I forgive him after everything he had done. He said he was looking at prison time. We divorced in February and his mother bonded him out in March, thinking he could have a few months freedom before being locked up, as his sentencing was in May. So he was out, and I was nervous. Despite everyone's hopes and wishes, he was back on the street pretty much right away. His mom called and warned me and it was only a matter of time before he showed up. He dropped off some clothes he picked up from a church and one of the kids saw him walk past the window. This was a turning point. Would I call the cops and have him hauled back off to jail or would I talk to him. Well, I let him in. I had a cup of coffee with him and let him take a shower. My boyfriend at the time dumped me right away, as he requested strict boundaries with Jared. It made my decision in the struggle to do the right thing much easier and God put it on my heart to just forgive him. And not only that: to give him his family back. He's been clean ever since. He promptly got a job and slipped back into his role as husband and father and we never looked back. The entire community took notice of Jared's transformation and as far as prison time: the District Attorney and judge said they've never seen such a dramatic turnaround and he was sentenced not to prison, but to probation!! We appreciate each other more than ever before and count each day as a blessing. Our family is a family again, lessons have been learned and life goes on. There's a reason God puts such a value on forgiveness. Forgiveness
has POWER!! ❤ C360_2017-10-14-11-47-07-776.jpg

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Words cannot express just how happy I am for you both. Much prayer and weeping has happened on your behalf over the past few years and I am so thankful that God has brought you both to an even better place than you were before. I love you guys with all my heart! Praise God!

Well said. We cried out for this family many times, and it is amazing to see what God can do, when people let Him. Praise God!

Let's resteem this so that more can see!

@snowpea - I've known you since high school, and I am glad that I still do. We will continue praying for you guys. Tell Jared that I said hi, and that I love him!

Interesting, due to a glitch, it shows that I resteemed your post, but it never went through, so now it won't let me....

I'm not surprised that stuff happens to me all the time haha!! Besides, it's the thought that counts. 🙂 I truly appreciate your kind words and can't wait to see you guys again!! We love you too!!

The prayers of you and your family and other prayer warriors definitely paid off!! You guys have been such a blessing to us over the years, we just wish you were closer! :)

Me too! Hopefully we can stop by over Thanksgiving :)

That would be great!! 🙂

Congratulations, I hope the re-marriage is a happy one this time. It was a touching story

Thank you, we are very happy now. 🙂 We have up and downs like in any marriage but we are truly meant for each other. I would like to add a disclaimer of sorts at this point and say that our story is incredibly unique. I don't say this as if I feel our story is superior in any way but only to say an ending like this is something I'm extremely grateful for...When I decided to take him back I was told by my psychiatrist (yes, I see a psychiatrist) that 9 out of 10 people who attempt to quit meth relapse within a year. My response was, "You don't know Jared." Jared's strong spirit and constitution as a family man (part of what made me fall in love with him in the first place) guaranteed that he would be free of this horrible substance once I took him back, along with much prayer and the straight up grace of God. Miracles. If anyone reading this has been stung by the destructiveness of meth, I can only hope and pray for a happy ending for you as well. I am humbled and truly thankful things turned out the way they did and that everyone is whole again in our family.

Your psychiatrist is right, and if you are the 1 out of 10 you are very fortunate

Followed, upvoted and resteemed. Thank you for sharing your story. Blessings.

That really is amazing. What a transformation. Blessings and congratulations on a restored marriage.

Thank you! :)

Thankful for a happing next phase. Praying for the ups and downs. Well acquainted with the ugly faces of addiction. He is a walking miracle. One day at a time. Seek support and do the work. Maintenance is key. The pink cloud is a real thing! I pray God's best for you and your family!

Thank you for your prayers and support!! I've heard of the pink cloud before, I think he's there thank God!!

Hmmm.. check again. The pink cloud isn't somewhere you want to be! ;)

Oh, I heard about it but never looked into it until now haha... I guess that's when a person should be the most on guard. My husband actually doesn't identify as an addict and claims his drug usage was a direct response of me leaving him. I asked him if he had any triggers or desire to use and he said, " No, just don't leave me again." He goes to NA once a week but rejects their "God of their own understanding" and other beliefs. Says it does nothing for him and he only goes to share the gospel and help others. Not sure if that's a dangerous mindset to shuck off recovery like that. I just think he's a different breed and I'm so proud of him.

I'm so glad he's sober, and I'm so glad you are supportive and your family is in tact. :)

Me too 🙂

Awww @snowpea, this is so precious. You are so brave for sharing such a personal story with everyone. Your story is an inspiration for many and will help people understand that their is good inside us, we just need to dig it out. I hope, wish and pray you and Jared always stay happy with your 5 amazing babies and that Jared always keeps you happy. Ameen. Love for you!

Thank you for your genuine kindness and prayers! It is very personal but I felt compelled to tell it, I'm not ashamed of the past one bit. You're right, hopefully it will inspire someone else! :)

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That's amazing, thank you @wilx!!

Wow. thank you for sharing such a personal and profound story. I am so glad your family is back together and so sorry for the hardship you and your kids went through. You are a very forgiving woman and many would not have done what you did to keep your family together.
Wishing you all the best.

Thank you. I struggled long and hard about what the right thing to do was and I know I made the right decision. It's a total understatement to say neither of us did very well on our own haha!

I am so happy everything worked out. Kids do need a father, unless it is a bad one, and I am so glad he decided his family is the most important thing :)

<3 Be blessed

Hi @snowpea, my friend @papa-pepper told me about your post and story. Praise God!! I'm in Rapids and my wife and I would love to get to know you and your family!! Let's be friends!!

That would be wonderful!! I'm@snowpea in steemit chat too if you'd like to exchange information. :)

Awesome!! God bless your fresh start!! He loves to heal people and relationships, creating Testimonies like yours!!

Absolutely!!! He makes everything new...:)

I was an alcoholic for 25 years, He saved me and set me free!! PTL!!
Clean now for 15 years, happily married for 14!!

Congratulations!! It seems like you have quite the testimony too!! What church do you go to?

St. Luke's, and you?
I'm on steemit chat now

Oh ok! Can't say I've ever been there. We go to Liberty Bible Church on Washington St. :)

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