The Actual Meaning Of Nagging
"Why are you not back yet?"
"Have you taken your dinner?"
"Can you help me to sweep the floor?"
"Why do you always lock yourself in the room?"
Sounds familiar? Ever feel frustrated when you heard that from your parents especially after a long tiring day when all you want to do is just lie down on the bed and sleep?
As an adult, most of our time are spent outside of the house. Be it working or socializing. We give a lot of time & attention to our job, passion, friends. No, its not wrong. Just that at times, maybe we forgot our parents at home need our attention too.
I stayed with my parents, hence I hear a lot of nagging. Haha. It is indeed annoying, especially when I wanted to "rest peacefully" after a long day. It almost felt like I've never done enough, there is always no-ending demands & requests.
One day, I quiet myself and think, what is that they actually need/want? Alimony? Eu-Yan Sang supplements? Yearly vacation trip? Ogawa massage chair? Haha maybe. But I'm pretty sure 99.9% parents would want something more than that. Something that is easy to give away, yet have to intentionally make plans for it - Your love, time & attention.
Being a typical Asian parents, they don't express themselves very well. They don't usually verbalize precisely what they actually feel inside. Hence, nagging is one of their way to communicate with you. It took me a lot of practice to listen through the message that they're trying to tell behind the nagging. If I were to decode their language:
"Why are you not back yet? Do you know what time is it now?"
- I'm worried of your safety. I can't sleep well when I don't see you back home safely.
"Have you taken your dinner?"
- I'm worried of your health. My job is to see you eat full and happy. Yes there's this paternal & maternal instinct that they must ensure that you have a good meal and grow healthily. This has been there since we're a baby and will continue to be even we're grown into adult. That is why grandparents like to stuff a lot of food to their grandchildren during CNY or any festive celebrations. Lai lai eat eatttt.... eat more eat more...
"Can you help me to sweep the floor?"
- I've done a lot of house chores alone today. Could you lend me a hand? Can we participate in this activity (house chores) and do it together?
"Why do you always lock yourself in the room?"
- I miss talking to you. I miss your presence. Will you spend a little time with me to have some light chat / heart to heart talk?
So I try my very best to set aside time for them everyday. Be it a short 10 mins TV time after dinner, 5 mins rush-but-sit-on-the-table breakfast time, 30-mins-baking-cake-time, 1-hour-cooking-lunch together time, doesn't matter if its just a short 5 mins of complaining how bad is the traffic today. They are happy when you talk to them.
It took me years to understand this, with much fights and tears involved. Its not easy but its doable. Yes it will need practice. It trains your patience and discernment to decode the actual meaning behind the nagging. But the return is always good. Happy parents = happy children. So the next time you are nagged, remember that you are loved! ❤
Have you spend time with your parents today?
If you're staying faraway from them, ring them up! 😉
No parent love nagging, I think if we keep up to epectation they will stop too. Every parent wants trhe best for their kids. I love my parents and i try to ring them daily
Yes agree with you. No doubt every parents wants the best (in their own way) for their kids. Glad to know you're engaging with your parents daily! 👍
Yeah, parents are the best gift to us.
Thanks for sharing this post with the #tkc community! You're doing a great job, keep up the good work! Congrats on winning!
Congrats on winning! Thanks for sharing your great post with us!
Aah! Thanks for selecting my post @khaleelkazi @dividendgrowth! I'm so happy cause its my first ever winning on steemit contest and this definitely encourages me to write more! Thanks for organizing #tkc! So glad to participate in this community! :D
Great post! Now maybe for your next post, what women do and what they really mean? xD
Great suggestion, i will love to see write ups about these topics
@maxyong Hahaha not all women are the same. Same decoding language might not apply to other women cause everyone is unique in their own way. Best is direct communication with the person. 😉
I am guilty as charged. Will do the ring ring now...
lol
Please do
Thank God this post has helped change someone
Ring ring returns as follows
Hello ah boy arr....owh....come la we go for bah kut teh...😁😁😁
Ring ring
Ahh~ good job @perennial. Hope you had a great weekend with your family! :)
I am gonna ring ring again....hello...its me arr...ah boy...wanna go bah kut teh again bo? 😂😂
This post is sponsored by @appreciator in collaboration with #steemitbloggers. Keep up the good work
Thanks for your encouragement & time @appreciator! Glad that this post caught your eye :)
Sometimes realisation comes when you are parents youself.. then you know.. nagging is actually good intentions.. love my mom for her nagging.. her nagging made me what i am now..
Haha ironically yes, now I too become quite a naggy person :D I'm glad that I realize this way before I become a parent. This make me appreciate my parents more and I want to love them as long as I can while they are still around. :)
although its been many years since I separated from my parents I can definitely relate to the challenges of living with them. It can be overwhelming but you've come to healthy conclusions on understanding how parental love can be a real challenge...
Yes agree, there will definitely be challenges. But because they are our loved ones, so we learn to love each other through challenges. There might appear to be "cons" while living with your parents, but I rejoice that my parents are still alive and I can still live with my parents and "enjoy their nagging". There will be a day where they will leave this earth and I wouldn't be able to hear their voice anymore. That's saddens me a lot. So for now, I will continue to cherish & love them with all my heart. ❤
Yeah
Parental love was a great challenge for year but now we understand better
true, so true. I have a very asian mother and that is how she will ask for help for chores.
Haha yea. In a commanding tone, they'll go "can you help me to do this... Next min you're done, can you help me to do that" all day long. Haha. That's where i realize their love tank is half full or empty, hence they get "cranky". 😂 So i changed my strategy, i automatically avail myself to help, spend more quality time with her, and surprisingly i found out she doesnt get as cranky anymore. Her love tank is full now. 😄
Haha so yea, sometimes nagging like these means she misses you and wants to spend timre with you. 😉
I had a teacher a couple of years ago who told us that we young people we were poor in communication. We are unable to articulate sentences with a real sense and that they expose us to many people, but especially to our parents. Sometimes we avoid talking a lot and close the conversations with words that sound like blows to avoid exposing ourselves to feelings that we think we can not control, like saying "I love you", "thanks", for example. I love your post, it is very sincere and real.
Thank you for sharing your content with #TKC still trusting us.
We invite you to join our Discord channel, you will find it in the publications of @KhaleelKazi
Yes I have to agree that most young people these days (including me) are poor in articulating our thoughts into verbal words. Not sure if this happen widely in western countries, but I can say this happen commonly in the Asia region. I've totally seen the scenario you mentioned above. We avoid being vulnerable with our loved ones. This has to change. I'm declaring this to myself too, as I continue to learn to be vulnerable and build wholesome relationship with people around me.
Thanks for dropping by @bryangav. It took me 3+ hours to write this post, with much thoughts & tears as I recall the memories. As I said, I myself having difficulty to articulate my thoughts into words. But its worth the effort when I am able to pass the message across to the readers. :)
It seems to me that it is a phenomenon that affects all human beings. I really thank you for sharing this material, I congratulate you for being selected for the daily curation. Keep sharing your story with #TKC team :)
Yup sure. Thanks @bryangav :)
The message of nagging : They want to relate with us!! :) great decoding, @michelleloh168. Am sure your parents will be greatly blessed by this!
Yeah, you are right
Her parents will love to see this
Haha yes! They want to relate, they want a relationship with us. Sometimes all they want is just to talk to you. Human always take familiar things for granted. It took me years of fighting, tears and revelation to understand a parents' heart. I'm now very content that i have a parent that love me so much! You are too @happycrazycon & @samiwhyte! ❤