My style of home. My style of family. My style of parenting.
With social media blooming everywhere, we watch other parents post up their fantastic family's vacation, photos of family's fun outdoor activities, we read about '10 ways to create a happy home', we envy the nice delicious food photos that others have, etc. Then we try to follow the trend. Plan a vacation with family. Or sign up for a run or outdoor activities with children. Snap alot of photos. Then post at our social media. But at the end of the day, we are back to square one. Children and parents are exhausted and all are whiny. House is messy and housechores pile up. So "We have tried our best and we ended this way?!! What could have gone wrong?"
NOTHING. NORMAL.
Yes, you read me correctly.
Nothing went wrong. It is normal happenings for all home. Everyone just to need to rest and sleep. Don't be too hard on yourself.
This is family. This is home. This is parenting. Children are children. They can be so random they want ice-cream now and the next moment they cry when you offer them an ice cream!
What I have learned throughout years of taking care of home, family and children is that none is perfect. Hey, that include myself! So I try not to envy so much what other families are doing great. They travel, they eat, they adventure. AND they get to post up so many fantastic photos/videos/sentences in their social media. I admire them and I am happy for them. PLUS, I think no one will take out their cameras to snap the ugly side of their faces crying or shouting or quarreling and post "Yes, I just fight with my spouse and my children and this is my crying angry face! Check it out!"
You can browse through and admire plus get connected with the world, but pleeeease never ever measure your worth and happiness by comparing with others what you don't get to do with what they get to do. Or what they have with what you don't have. NEVER COMPARE or you risk yourself downgrade your self-esteem and self-worth. I learned it the hard way. I had my months of bawling and envy and comparing once I realised my lifestyle would change tremendously with a child that was medically ill at home. I thank God it only took me months before I see the light and bliss of it.
Every home is different. Every family is unique in their own way. Every parenting is adapted by the parents-children's relationship - so that is why parenting style varies. Every couple is different. Some can show affection in public causing much envy to those who are yearning for one. Some only show affection at home. For example my husband and I are quite decent couple in public that does not mean we are short of love and affection. So, just DO NOT COMPARE but give thanks with what you have and count the blessings daily.
Christmas is the season much celebrated by people of all walks of life throughout the world. They will be many vacations, travelling, foodie-gathering, exchanges of gifts, events, parties, etc. No doubt all these will be posted up in respective social media. You do not need to match up with the trend if you can't. But if you can, do it because you want to enjoy and have fun, but not for the sake of merely matching up and try to look cool and awesome too!
Since for years having Jansen at home with me, I stay at home a lot. We don't expose him much to crowd yet due to protecting his small right lung from infection. Our family no longer has family vacation. Do I long for one? Yes, of course! BUT for now, we learn to enjoy every moment we can have at one same mundane place called HOME, whilst admiring many beautiful photos of other families' vacation and activities on phones. (Sometimes we get to plan special outing to malls or restaurants or events but usually is without Jansen. He stays at home with another caregiver)
Some photos of what we do at home and enjoy the simple moments. When Jansen is older and have better lungs' functions plus able to pick up eating skills we may plan some vacation. But for now...
Role-play. Ironman+superman
*Role-play again. Become cowboy like Woody in Toys' Story.
Talking about bugs and insects at home. This one is a small usual moth which they are fascinated at.
Eating simple meals at home because mummy always don't have time to cook professional meals. Haha
Unending cuddles
Drawing, nothing special
Blocks, legos. And more blocks
Playdough, new Christmas present from grandparents.
Being silly
Boxing & wrestling. This one I leave to their daddy.
Can't camp outside. So they camp here - double decker!
Instruments - toy guitars, toy drum, keyboard, dancing, singing, to kill time
puzzles
Study and homework which is their least interest
Scooting or blowing bubbles at our apartment's ground floor
Water-gun or water the plants or ghost-buster. Whatever. As long as can buy time
Teach them some chores because I can. Hehe.
Another one doing chores. If I pay him he can do even more. Just a small tips for saving
Looks like alot to do at home and so much fun right? Yes. But also no. Because the attention span on one activity is not long. The longest is half and hour.
When mummy is tired, then.....
Ask the men go to gadget
Watch some videos
Ask them sit down watch TV so I can get some breather. or so I thought.
Sometimes lie down do nothing
All seems happy-go-lucky because I never snap those messy chaotic moments. Could have been too frustrated to even think about taking photos.
Please do not envy me because there is nothing much to envy about. Because I am sure you have your own story to tell too that suits you the best. Mind to share some? In every good moments, there bound to have some not so happy ones. In bad moments, I am sure some goodness is still present.😊 Happy parenting. Happy family time (with some unhappiness here and there AND it is absolutely normal and alright).
Merry Blessed Christmas everyone. Have fun eating, travelling and spending for the loves ones. Do everything in moderation and take care.
Spot on! Lol you missed out mentioning about unnecessarily lavish parties! I love to see the sorts of activities and fun you have at home. In fact after my second came along i prefer to stay in because going out with both can be too stressful-worry they go missing, cannot eat in peace. The best outing are in my opinion to the parks and hanging out at friends house with the kids entertaining themselves.
Maybe one day we can do a post on the things your kids do that makes you feel like giving them away 😂.
Happy Christmas to you and your family!
Stay in definitely has its advantage. I love going to the parks too but gotto when not so crowded for Jansen's sake. I love your idea "Things that our kids do that make us feel like giving them away!" hahaha.
Haha i got the idea from a friend. Showed her the mess my daughter made with her cup of milo just before i need to leave for work and she asked me, “you do feel like strangling her at that point do you?”
And then after that we also so so love them because they are so adorable right? The dilemma of a mother hehe.
Another great post with great pictures!
Merry Christmas to you and family :)
Thank you @dxn :)
You have very handsome sons. I agree with you that we parents shouldn't compare ourselves to other parents. We have our own family dynamics, our personalities are different and so does our background and upbringing, and of course our values and beliefs. All these things influence our parenting. Like you I often feel intimidated and inferior when I compared my parenting to other more 'successful' parents. But of course, there are parents who also like to look down on other parents who they feel have bad parenting styles. This type of parents likes to 'preach' and being condescending.
But I learned to ignore them and just take the positive things.
By the way, how old are your sons?
My son is 3 yo (he will turn 4 in January 2018) and my daughter is 7.
Ah...so they are about the same age 😊
Exactly! That is why high-5 to you :)
Yes I meet those types of parents, I also learn to ignore just politely nodded my head or just give them a smile. My sons are 3 years 5months old and 6 years old (going to be 7 on February 2018) ;) high-5!
By the way thank you for compliments ;)
Exactly! That is why high-5 to you :)
You have a great family there. Have a blessed Christmas :)
Thank you. You too have a blessed Christmas :)
Oh, the joy on your children's faces is completely precious!
You are right - it's so hard not to envy others on social media who seem to have a storybook life. I know one of my FB friends is forever posting beautiful shots of her gorgeous home, and is always talking about positive things - in reality, she has a child with difficult behavioral issues, and her life is anything but blissful.
We've talked about it (she lives near me) and she said something to the effect of, "I try to focus on beautiful things online to remind me that there is good in my life too." However, anyone who didn't know her would be completely jealous of what they perceive her life to be.
Thanks for an excellent reminder, and for making me smile with those awesome, smiling pictures!
Thank you beautiful reply. Your friend certainly is a strong momma! We all have our own story to tell and I think that is what make us strong in our own ways. I am glad I can share my story with you. For your info, my 2nd son is still medically taken care of as he is born with CDH. We hope he can overcome all the complication soon. Other than that he is a happy child :)
Nice to meet you here @traciyork. Merry Christmas!
This post is sponsored by @appreciator in collaboration with #steemitbloggers. Keep up the good work
Thank you so much!!!😍
From one momma to another, your kids look happy and healthy and that's the most important thing! Our house was never clean and there was always chaos and fun going on and my kids grew up to be happy, individuals in their own right, wonderful adults!
Marry Christmas to you and your beautiful family!
Always chaos and also fun! Totally can relate to that! It is such an encouragement to hear from you they grew up happy individual and wonderful adults. Hopefully mine will too!😊
Merry Christmas to you and family.
Great post. Thanks for sharing. Your are a blessed person! Merry Christmas!
Thank you. Merry Christmas and have great time :)
Looks to me like you are a great parent!! What a beautiful family you have. I have grandchildren now, but your post brought back many good memories of when my kids were young. #steemitbloggers
Thank you for saying that I am a great parent although I still think got so much to improve like being calm during chaos. Wow, congratulations for having grandchildren it must be a bliss to see all of them growing up :)
It is wonderful, but so odd how even when you are old you still can see them as children! They are adults, doing adulting, and we have a completely adult relationship now, but they will always be my kids!
Congratulations for living joyfully after all that has happened 👏👏👏. Keep up the good work.
Thank you. Gotto live joyfully and it helps to focus on the best rather than the worst. Thank you for kind words. @amarbir