I have been lactating for 12 years straight, including through 2 pregnancies and briefly tandem nursing.
Grace and I
Now, at age 48, I'm pretty sure that my baby-making days are over. Although I do have a good friend who had her last baby at age 48, so it's not impossible.
Isaiah is now 12 years old, Grace is 9 and Olive has just turned 6.
(1 year ago)
My youngest child, Olive, weaned just a few months ago at the age of 5¾.
Each of my children were breastfed for over 3 years.
When I do the calculations, the average age of weaning for all 3 of my children, was 4.25 years -- exactly the world average age of weaning.
So, according to world standards, I am average -- but according to North American standards, I am "EXTREME."
The smaller print says ...
"Why attachment parenting drives some mothers to extremes ---"
In the photo, the mother is breastfeeding a child who is not quite 4 years old yet. Somehow in the strange world of America, this is considered extreme. Yet in the rest of the world this is what most children do!!! Sometimes the way that the press covers things, makes me feel like I'm living in the Twilight Zone. Such discrimination on the front page of "Time" is abhorrent.
I was an older mom of 36 when my first child, Isaiah, was born over 12 years ago. It was my second marriage and my husband already had one child from his first marriage.
I met Raphael at age 32, married at 34, and had our first child 2 years later.
Linda & Raphael
I breastfed for so long, because it felt like the right thing to do. My young children needed it. It was our decision, and not society's decision.
My youngest child, Olive, especially needed to breastfeed for longer. I don't know why she needed that extra attachment to mama, but I just trust that there was a good reason. I encouraged her many times after the age of 3 to consider weaning, but she was simply not ready. She LOVED, loved, loved breastfeeding.
Here I am breastfeeding my 3-year-old son, while hugely pregnant with my second child.
Here is Isaiah before I got pregnant again.
Here is newborn Grace and I.
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Amazing effort! Upvoted😉
Thank you and I'm glad that you came over and read this story.
Time magazine is fake news anyway.
I have only respect for a person so dedicated to her children. Thank you, and if the world population were knowledgeable enough, it would thank you too. We, humanity, may have a future yet.
Thank-you so much @lifeworship!
I really appreciate the encouragement you give.
I wish more moms would follow their instincts instead of following some parenting technique they read in a book. I am a very logical person, and I never thought ahead of time that I would nurse for so long or co-sleep or many of the things that I have done. But when it comes down to it, my love for my children is greater than any book knowledge or what anybody else thinks of us.
Most of what a child will be for life is formed by age four. If everyone were to grow into, what I suspect your children are, loved, this would be a very different world.
Anger, hatred, and fear come from not being loved and/or bonded to humanity. I realized this when I learned that infants do not have the ability to distinguish between the self, and the mother. They see both as one and the same. This is why abandonment is such a huge problem, and also why people who grow up loved are more complete individuals. It seems paradoxical, but is a developmental state dependent circumstance.
Check this out :D
http://www.who.int/pmnch/media/news/2016/lancet_breastfeeding/en/
Stronger, smarter, healthier, more functional, less criminal, all of this and more just by doing what comes naturally. Since breastfeeding and physical interaction has been made anathema to 'modern society' even sociopathy has been on a steady rise. We already know of this result from monkey studies. I don't know why we're still going in the direction we are. It makes good soldiers, but not people interested in benefiting others.
Thanks @baah
Yes, breastfeeding is the best thing that any mother can do to support her child's immune system and keep them healthy.
Some people claim that attachment parenting, including extended breastfeeding, breast feeding on demand, co-sleeping, etc will lead to spoiled, self-entitled kids and adults.
I have found exactly the opposite to be true.
When you meet all of a babies and young child's needs, they grow up more independent and capable and stronger than other children. They do not need constant mommy attention forever, but like you said they sure need it a lot during those critical first several years of life.
Humans are intensely social. That is how we've been able to accomplish what we have. It takes infrastructure built of cooperation to make even a pencil, let alone a space station. This is why the most effective tool of rulers is divide and conquer. In order to build our future better than our present, we have to depend on each other. This is not to say that forced collectivism is the path, but voluntary cooperation.
Kudos to you! I've actually done pretty well on the extended nursing thing, though I've found that around 2 years weaning seems to have worked best for me. I tandem nursed through two pregnancies, but both of the children who were the pregnancy in the scenario suffered from pretty severe tooth decay. I think that I don't have the self discipline required to stuff my face during pregnancy. Anyway, because of the tooth decay issue I opted to not tandem nurse after that, and the two children I weaned at age 2 it was a very peaceful transition. One child pretty much self weaned, while the other child was encouraged to substitute ice cream for the breast, and really only needed the ice cream for the first 48 hours or so, then he was good. I do find it funny that I still run into people who think nursing all the way through age 2 is a lot. I'm like, yeah, that's me cutting back. It's cool that the world average is past age 4. No mother should ever feel pressured to wean any earlier than she would like.
Congratulations on breastfeeding until 2 years with each child. Good job mama!
Thanks so much for commenting.
I feel like such a sucker (lol).. There were times where I actually felt uneasy thinking about the breastfeeding age even though they were not my breast and not my kids and I had no science in my head about that whatsoever. I didn't act on it but even subconsciously it is pathetic and dangerous thinking.
It does seem to prove that I'm very susceptible to ideas from society or media to some degree without question. Most often it is name calling, teasing, or fear that does it. The media is a childish bully. It shouldn't work on adults in my view but without the skills or practice it does.
So it makes me defensive but on the lookout for learning opportunities. I'm on the lookout for my bad prejudices; crappy ideas that rubbed off on me. I really enjoy it when I find something to challenge my thinking. This one didn't just change me but it does remind me where I came from and where I could be if I stop questioning everything.
@jamesc please share in what cryptocurrencies you invested?
P.S it's very interesting to know where smart people invest.
hhhaaaa, so funny @jamesc
please follow back
You are so funny!
I like reading your honest reflections on where your prejudices may have come from. Yes, we are all vulnerable to them. I'm sure that there are lots and lots of mothers who are breastfeeding for extended times that just won't talk about it and keep it hidden for fear of what other's think. That's why it's good that a few brave mamas, like the lady on the magazine cover and myself, share our experiences with others.
I knew we were kindred spirits!
I breastfed all three of my children for over 9 years straight! I was blessed with the opportunity to tandem nurse both of my daughters. I completely believe in child led weaning. All three decided on their own shortly after their third birthday without any coaching from me or their father. Society can present some challenges and there were some that tried to make me feel I was a poor parent because of my decisions, mind you my children are now 40, 38, and 35 years old. Lucas is my oldest and my daughters Sarah and Camille will be celebrating their birthdays in early June each tacking on another year. I am so blessed by each of them. Each of their children are breastfed as well. Camille was born at home so that really gave the neighbors something to talk about!
I also believe in the Family bed another healthy parenting behavior that has unfortunately lost favor here in the U.S.
Weaning your baby is somewhat bitter sweet . There is nothing more amazing than brushing your hand across there cheek an feeling their silky smooth skin and smelling their sweet breath. Unfortunately there is a distinct difference when a child is bottle-fed.
Congratulations on a job well done... you are a wonderful mother!
Upvoted and resteemed and shared too!
Yes -- Kindred Spirits! I've really enjoyed getting to know you, Mary, since we met on Steemit.
I might do a post on the family bed next.
I co-slept with all of mine.
My second self weaned at 11 months. No pressure, no plan or parenting model. I was prepared to feed him for any length of time, it was lovely, and I treasured that time. I was in my 30s and very comfortable with it. I had a long time gap between my children. My first was bottle fed. I was young and overwhelmed, and not supported, and not confident with my body.
I must say I was judged on both accounts. Strangers and overly opinionated friends had opinions on my feeding of my children. Of all the things people could have issues with in the world, a mother nourishing her child should not be a topic of outrage.
Societies constraints and expectations play a major role, so when I say self wean, there are definitely other factors. Where I live it is almost impossible to provide for a family on one income. I think the pressure to return work, and organising feed times around those obligations influenced the weaning process.
Thank you for your post. Motherhood is a beautiful thing. Supporting all mothers to confidently parent without societal intimidation, however that looks, if it is based in love. What really is the issue?
I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home with my children, but I imagine that having to work could really hamper it. In Canada we get one year maternity leave, whereas Americans get only 6 weeks I believe.
Thank-you for your comment. You are right that we should support all mothers who are trying to do their best for the children they love.
Way to go momma! I nursed each of my older two for 9 months and my youngest for 3.5 years....so I put in a grand total of 5 years but I definitely had gaps between as my kiddos are pretty spaced out.
Thanks! Good for you too, mama@
Do you pump for other mothers who can't produce?
I did not end up doing that. Milk banks only want milk if your baby is less than 1 year old, as milk from older babies isn't quite what a newborn needs.
I had a lot of trouble getting the breastfeeding started with my first child. I was living in the big city at that time, but the milk bank did not have enough milk to give any to me.
A wonderful friend ended up pumping extra milk for me, until my own supply caught up to my baby's needs. I would have later done the same if I had known a friend in need.
It's a lot of work to donate to a milk bank as you have to drive the milk to the drop off point. Then they pasteurize it, which I think is unfortunate as baby misses out on a lot of live enzymes, etc.
I did at one point sign up to a group where mothers would help other mothers directly with donated milk, but nobody took up my offer.
By the time of my 3rd child, I was living in a small town with no milk bank anyways.
Maybe I should I have made more of an effort to help out.
Thanks for asking me about it.
Action. I like that. You gave of yourself that's the cool part. I feel more of a connection when users share themselves, like real experiences and stories. Love and Light. Thank you for sharing.
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Congratulation !
You are great mother dear Linda !!