RE: I Stand Alone
I really appreciate you taking the time to help with perspective.
I just can't shake the idea that if I was good, people wouldn't keep leaving me.
Yeah, anxiety and depression are rough. I'm very much fighting the urge to drink right now. I just don't see much point in anything anymore.
I'm not sure if the positive mirror thing would help. I very much love myself and believe I am a good person. I can't help it that I feel the need to speak my truth and refuse to put a filter on myself. That would be fake.. and whenever I say anything that seems to challenge someone, they just dump me like a rotten sack of potatoes. This is why I am so perplexed and feel I must be delusional or something. If I was good, I would not be abandoned and utterly alone in life.
Life is a trip man, and it hasn't been a great one. I very much just want to get fucked up. I don't even know what is stopping me at this point.
I very much use to do the very same thing you are describing (challenging peoples opinions). I still do to an extent but the older I get the more I try and not speak out unless its truly needed.
Instead I just shake my head at those who spout out stuff just because it sounds good or because its the politically correct thing to say.
The more time that passes the more I realize most people prefer to be lied to if it means that lie is in line with their beliefs / statements they usually make. They don't want to be challenged and shown to be wrong. Many people seem to have the I'm right because I'm right syndrome so its pointless to debate with most.
As you said in your topic .....3 years sober .... being 3 years sober is a great reason for you not to get fucked up. Keep that 3 years rolling ..... Don't give up.