A Woman Alive ~ Fantasy is the first part in a series of sexual discovery for Deanna. Please note this contains graphic language and sex.

• I have previously self-published this work on Smashwords as MJ Loughran.

If you missed the first chapter you can find it here:

* Chapter 1

* Chapter 2

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Chapter 3

Monica and Rich led them to their private room. Deanna felt nervous butterflies in the pit of her stomach. The centerpiece of the room was an oversized bed that could easily fit ten people side by side. It had floor to ceiling drapes that could be closed for privacy, but beyond the four chaise lounges surrounding the bed, the room was fairly sparse. Rich switched a button that plugged in to the music from the dance hall. Deanna could feel the pulse of the bass in her torso. Not knowing exactly what to do, they watched Rich and Monica find their own rhythm, slowly peeling their clothes away, tasting bits of exposed skin as they went.

Monica looked their way and held her hand out to them, an invitation to come closer. As if hypnotized, Michael moved forward. Monica, glorious and nude, turned her attention to him and slowly undressed him. She never took her eyes off Deanna as she got on her knees and stroked his erection. She guided Michael to the bed then straddled him, impaling her pale body on him. She couldn’t breathe but she couldn’t look away. It was a beautiful dance.
Rich approached her but didn’t touch her. Her only partner for the last six years was making love to a beautiful woman and here she was standing in the middle of a private room, unsure if she might be a bad lay and feeling self-conscious about it.

“Close your eyes,” Rich prompted. “Feel the music and pretend this is fantasy.”

She closed her eyes and felt the heat of him as he stood close to her. Her breathing became shallow, her skin alive and waiting like the ground vibrating, waiting for the lightning strike.

His hand barely grazed her breast then traveled down her waist to her hip.

Her eyes flew open and looked straight into his eyes. They were dark and hooded with desire. His lazy smile gave her a world of promises. “Keep your eyes closed and tell me what you want.”

Deanna couldn’t say anything. Guys just did what they did. They fucked, sometimes it felt good, sometimes it was just fucking, but no one, not even Michael ever asked her what she wanted. She didn’t know what to say.

“I - I don’t know what I want.”

“Then I’m going to kiss you until you do.”

Oh good. Kissing is safe.

“I’m going to kiss you here…and here.” His hand caressed her neck and shoulder, moving down to her breast and stomach. “Then here…and here.” His hand pressed against her mons. “And then I’m going to taste you.” She hissed in a breath, her body vibrated in response to his husky voice.

True to his word, Rich began to nuzzle her neck and shoulder, slowly unzipping her dress. She shrugged out of it and let it fall to the floor. He kissed the exposed mound of her breasts, first one then the other. One hand unfastened her bra. His other hand cupped her again, searching for the nub of her clitoris through her lace panties. She groaned and nearly collapsed when he found it, but his strong hands steadied her. His mouth trailed warm kisses and lapped at her bare skin from her breasts to her belly, then followed the waistline of her panties. She leaned into him, savoring the warmth of his mouth and light grind of his teeth but her frustration mounted as that thin layer of lace blocked him.

“Get in the chair.”

She walked to the chaise and sat down. Eyes open now, she admired his toned body. Her fingers itched to touch him and rub her soft breasts against his hard chest.

He still wore pants but she could see the bulge of his erection pressing against them. She needed to see him. Touch him. Feeling brazen, she told him to take his pants off. He obliged slowly. Painfully slow. She couldn’t stop watching his long fingers slowly undo his belt, then each button of his pants. He was slow and meticulous, and she briefly wondered if he would be that slow and meticulous with her. If she didn’t look into his face then he was just a body and this was just a fantasy.

Her hunger grew. He wasn’t wearing any underwear and she had an unimpeded view of him as his pants fell to the floor. His dick was thick and long - longer than she had ever fucked. A thing of beauty, she wrapped her hands around him and took him in her mouth. She was encouraged by his low growl. Yes. I want the beast to come out.
She sucked him and took him as deep as she could. She could feel the ridges of his penis pulsate with his need but she could tell he was holding back from the way he gritted his teeth and threw his head back like a wolf who found prey. I want you to devour me. I want you to fuck me.

“Tell me what you want.” The strain in his voice made her nipples harden in response. The warmth in her belly traveled to her core. She could feel herself get wet and swell with animalistic need.

“Fuck me. Oh god, I want you to fuck me.”

His response was exactly what she wanted…exactly what she craved.

He descended on her, sucking and biting her breasts. Her lace panties were ripped from her. Both hands cupped her ass but he didn’t enter her. His long dick rubbed against her like a bow to a violin. He teased and rubbed until she was frantic. She could feel herself beginning to spiral but she needed more. She wanted to feel him pierce her and ride her. She opened wider to accommodate him, an unspoken plea. He parted her and dipped his middle finger. She bucked to meet him.

“Yes. Yes. Oh please,” she cried.

One finger - then two. In and out, in and out. Slow and meticulous like she thought. His thumb rubbed her clit and she wanted to scream her pleasure. She felt him press against her, felt her body stretch to accommodate him.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.”

He lifted her hips and plunged deep into her. It was a pleasure pain she’d never experienced before. He grinded against her, his pelvis rubbing against her bud then nearly pulled out completely before he rammed into her again and again.

“Yes,” she sighed, “Yes.”

She could feel the impending orgasm and fought it off. She was certain she would break into a million pieces and disappear if she reached the apex. She wasn’t ready. No, she couldn’t lose control. He must have sensed her struggle because he slowed his pace. She could feel every inch of him slowly enter her until he was fully sheathed, the pull out all the way ever so slowly. It was more than she could bear as she felt herself disappear into pure sensation and splinter like fireworks in the sky. Her body bucked and spasmed with every hard, deep drive.

When her shuddering subsided, Rich picked her up and carried her to the bed to join Monica and Michael. Unspoken, they switched partners. Rich lifted Monica and began fucking her against the wall. Deanna admired his sweat-glistened back and watched his muscles contract with every thrust. She still felt the heat of friction between her thighs and was hungry for more. Naked. Exposed. She turned her attention back to her husband. Her legs still splayed wide she took pleasure in seeing his surprise when she began to masturbate. She’d never been so brazen - never touched her secret spot with someone watching. It was dirty and exhilarating. She watched Michael’s pecs twitch when she inserted one finger, then two into herself. Rubbing. Rotating. Massaging. She knew how to make herself cum.

Like an animal, Michael was on all fours waiting, his erection quivering with need. He would wait until she said so. He looked as hungry as she felt and opened for him. He descended on her, holding her wrists above her head and drove deep into her, unrelenting and powerful. Harder and harder.

“You like that.” It wasn’t a question but a statement as he punished and pleasured her with his rhythm and strength.

“Yes. Fuck. Yes!”

She could feel herself climax again but opened her eyes when Michael’s hard rhythm slowed and she felt small hands on her breasts, gently kneading and teasing her nipples tight. Monica kissed her softly, gently on the lips at first. She was encouraged when Deanna kissed her back. She deepened the kiss, exploring Monica’s mouth. She never kissed a woman before. Never lain naked with one. Michael abandoned her allowing Monica to take over. Her hands massaged the inside of her thighs.

“I’ve never…not with a woman.”

“Shh. It’s fantasy. Let me taste you.” She trailed kisses from her mouth to her breasts…to her navel…and lower; Monica’s tight breasts dragging lightly over her skin. Her small tongue lapped at her clit as her fingers entered her, emulating sex.

She moaned in pleasure and felt Monica smile against her inner thigh. She sat and pulled Monica up to kiss her, tasting her own essence. This is fantasy. My free pass. “My turn. I want to taste you.” Monica smiled and leaned back. Their husbands lay facing each other, their penis nestled between the thighs of the other; their hands exploring the chiseled muscle; their kissing deep and soft…intimate. Deanna felt shocked seeing her husband lay with another man. It was strange and oddly beautiful.

Monica kissed her, redirecting her attention. Deanna didn’t need any more prompting. It’s fantasy.

Deanna caressed her breasts, circling her nipples with her thumb and thrilled when they responded by puckering into tight nubs. She kissed them and gently tugged with her teeth. Monica’s skin was soft and smooth unlike the rough edges of the men. She kissed her navel and traveled downward. She spread her legs wide and Deanna had an unimpeded look at her vagina: quivering, wet, the delicate folds like flower petals. She saw the small engorged bud of her clitoris and instinct kicked in. She suckled and scraped her teeth against it. Monica arched to meet her mouth.

Encouraged, Deanna parted her with her tongue, tasting her musk and essence. Her thumb replaced her mouth as she trailed kisses down her thigh to the back side of her knee then back up again, lathing her, making her spasm and cum.

Each wave of her orgasm made Deanna feel empowered and strong. She remembered this woman from her past - the woman she hadn’t seen in the mirror in a long, long time.

Rich was behind her now. He dipped his middle finger inside her to make sure she was still primed then sheathed himself from behind. She loved feeling the length of him enter her slowly, inch by amazing inch until she was filled with him. It was very difficult concentrating on Monica’s pleasure when she was engulfed in her own. Monica rolled away from her and toward Michael, sucking at his erection as he tasted her sweet core. Yes. Beautiful. Animal. Fantasy.

Fucking with wild abandon, they all climaxed in wave after wave of pure sensation.

Nothing was said. No words needed to be spoken. Ever the gracious hosts, Rich and Monica gathered their clothes and got dressed, leaving Deanna and Michael to a private moment.

She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry. The whole experience was so different and new. Her body thrummed and she could feel the sweet ache of her groin. Rising from the bed, she found her clothes and excused herself to go to the bathroom.

Staring into the mirror she noticed the high color in her cheeks and sparkle in her eyes. Beyond that, she didn’t look any different. Deanna didn’t know why that surprised her so much. Maybe because it was a direct contrast to what she was feeling. Everything was different now. A spark was ignited within her and she didn’t know if she could go back to just being Michael’s wife in the traditional sense.

She saw the quiet intimacy on his face as he’d lain with another man and wondered if he felt the same way. She thought about how she felt watching him with another woman. Indifferent did not describe it exactly. It was more like how one might observe art: at a respectful distance with an appreciation of its beauty. She would never know how he really felt seeing someone fucking her with abandon. She didn’t know if she cared. Tonight was their free pass. Fantasy. Nothing about it was real but everything about it would change her forever.

She slipped on her dress and exited the bathroom to find Michael waiting for her, his smile a little shy and awkward. He already gathered their belongings from the coat check. She tucked her bra and ruined panties into her handbag. They waved their good-byes to Monica, Rich and Victoria and headed toward the exit in silent contemplation.

The quiet was too strained.

She nudged Michael gently in the ribs. “You want to hear something funny?”

He wrapped his arm around her waist, resting his hand on her hip as they walked out of the club and into the night.
The cool air felt great against her skin. “What’s that?” he asked.

“I kept my heels on the entire time,” she chuckled, “like a fuckin’ porno superstar!”

His body shook quietly until he couldn’t hold back the laughter anymore. When they reached the car he leaned up against her and kissed her softly on the lips; his thumb caressing her jawline and neck. “Are you okay?”

He looked concerned, probing her with soulful eyes. She avoided his gaze because she didn’t really know how to answer that. “Yeah,” she said quietly, “I’m okay.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too,” she answered honestly.

“You ready to go home?”

She shook her head. “I need food. I’m famished!”

And as they dug into their drive-thru take out bag and feasted on over-salted fries, Deanna sat back in her seat content, sated, and exhausted. This might not have been the best anniversary but it would certainly be the most memorable. It felt like the best thing to happen for them as individuals but she wondered what it meant for their marriage. Because no matter how she tried to say it was fantasy and it’s over, she now had the taste of something new. It was a craving she didn’t think she could ignore.

Maybe this was the start of a new chapter in their relationship. Maybe instead of ignoring it and trying to go back to the way things used to be, they needed to face it and discuss... Discuss what? Rules. Guidelines. A playbook or something.

But not tonight.

She rested her hand on his lap as he drove. Maybe it was possessive. Maybe it was reassuring. Perhaps a bit of both. They traveled the rest of the way home in silence. When they arrived, Michael kissed the top of her head and told her to take the first shower. He walked to his study and closed the door behind him.

He turned on the radio and she heard the clink of the crystal brandy decanter as he poured himself a drink.

As she stood quietly in the foyer staring at the closed door, it was the first time she thought maybe, just maybe this was the beginning of the end.

= + = + = + =
This ends AWA ~ Fantasy.
I do have more chapters of Deanna's story slated for a separate "commuter length" novella however, I had been debating whether or not to combine the entire thing to make a full-length novel. I'd love to hear your feedback! Thank you for reading.

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