And the more we can allow each other to be who we are, be forgiving , and listen as much as we speak, perhaps forced political correctness can turn into informed, natural respect.

BINGO!

I missed the convo in discord but, for me, being PC is just covering up the issue. I get why it's supposedly important. Let's be politically correct (although I'll argue it should be called Socially Correct) so that people are not offended. Great.

But the problem, in my humble opinion, is that being PC doesn't necessarily open up the real issue. What it has done is allowed us to be somewhat civil to each other by HIDING our 'isms without really addressing them.

Say I'm homophobic (I'm not in the least, but humor me). By using a PC term instead of something derogatory am I any less homophobic? No. I've learned to socially cover up my incorrectness, but it does nothing to change how I really feel.

The key is listening. We need to start to hear what people feel and not necessarily what they say. It's not an easy skill, but I think your post pretty much says it all. Context matters. Intent matters. The words actually matter very little. It's learning to accept and understand that will make the difference.