SATURDAY NIGHT WITH ZIZY EPISPDE 8
Hello everyone, it is another beautiful saturday evening and you know what time it is, it is Saturday Night with Zizy. Before i jump start this show, I would like to ask us how about our week. I hope it was eventful? Well mine wasn't because I fell Ill within the week but I'm happy I'm getting better and I know soon I will be fully recovered. Let me us this time out to say a very big thank you to everyone who sent their good will messages and calls. I'm really grateful and you are all appreciated.
Last week on Saturday night with Zizy, we talked about when your boyfriend is not over his ex if you missed it, well you can always read up. Today's show promises to be very controversial and yes I'm ready for the outcome and I believe you are too. Why not we start already?
DJ play the music in jenifa's voice.
RELATIONSHIP TALK WITH ZIZY
one of the greatest challenges to a committed relationship is when one partner goes outside to look for connection. This connection can either be physical or emotional. Going outside to seek from another person what your partner could have given you is termed cheating. So long a relationship isn't an open relationship, there should be exclusivity.
WHAT IS CHEATING?
Cheating is difficult to define. It is relative. It means different things to different people. people have different notions about what they feel is inappropriate for a partner to indulge in with someone of the opposite sex. Some believe that flirting is a form of cheating. Some others won't even condone an exchange of phone number or denying being in a relationship or exchange of gifts between their partner and someone of the opposite sex. Cheating leads to a feeling of betrayal and rejection. Those who cheat understand the consequences of what they are doing, little wonder it is always kept a secret. Some people however, do not like to define what counts as cheating just like the saying, " if you do not know the rules; you can't really break them."
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According to Wikipedia cheating is a violation of a couple's assumed or stated contract regarding emotional and/or social exclusivity.
MEN AND WOMEN WHO CHEAT MORE?
The society has this stereotype that men cheat more than women. I am not here to propose or oppose that fact, you can help me do that on the comment section. However, it is worthy of note that women are as profoundly sexual and sensual as men. Women also have physical urges that some of them want gratified elsewhere. Although men and women tend to think and feel differently about sex.
When a man cheats, there is usually no emotional attachment to it. To them, sex is sex and relationship is relationship. That a man cheats doesnt mean he's in love with his mistress or he has stopped loving you. A man can chat without feeling a significant degree of emotional connection. Women on the other hand, sex most time goes with emotions. When a woman cheats, there is usually an element of romance, intimacy, connection or love. A man is able go satisfy his sexual urge with fewer thought of intimacy but I dare not say same about a woman. Before a woman cheats, she considers the possibility of a long term because sex with a wrong guy can lead to unpleasant outcomes even a one night stand.
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The world has been digitalized with technological advancement making cheating so easy. Gone are those days when men are seen as lovers of gadgets and are more likely to cheat using these devices. Nowadays, women especially the younger generation are as involved as men in digital technology. Women Constitute a higher percentage of social media users such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and the list is endless. For most part, women are seeking online what they seek in life which is meaningful connection and if the digital connection comes with an element of sexual stimulation, so be it. No thanks to webcams, online sex is now very common with nudes sharing and sexting and what have you? Okay just so you know,I have not in anyway said women cheat more, I am just saying women cheat as much as men do.
WHY DO PEOPLE CHEAT?
It starts from the little lies to the secrets and deleting of evidence. What hurts most is not the fact that your partner cheated but the lies and the secrets making you feel stupid and like a fool. Why do people cheat? It spans across several reasons but I will share with us but a few. You can add yours on the comment section.
Incompatibility: cheating occurs because a couple is a mismatch that requires compromise on things the couple do not want to compromise on but have no courage to break up hence they go finding that perfect match out there.
Resentment: the feeling of resentment by a partner can trigger the thoughts of cheating. Going through a rough patch or a moment of weakness and not having your partner be there for you is not a pleasant situation. Busy partners who never spend time with their significant other leaves them crying for attention and they might just find it in the arms of a stranger.
Sexual Satisfaction: most relationships cannot survive without sex most especially marriages. Sex is the engine oil of a relationship and good sex bonds partners. When one partner feels unsatisfied or sex starved, they tend to want to go look for it elsewhere.
Revenge: this is common among women. He cheats on you and then you figure the best way of revenge is to give him a taste of his bitter pill.
Boredom and Curiosity: when the sparks of a new relationship dies down and there is no more sizzles,some people miss the exhilarating effects that comes from dating, flirting and being flirted with and if such person is an adventurous love with a boring partner, then the rest is history.
Lack of self esteem: This is one of the major reasons why people cheat. Having a partner who constantly downgrades your looks, careers and makes you feel older than your age can make one seek for validation outside wanting to feel desired, appreciated and alive again.
Serial cheaters: These set of people cannot comprehend the idea of being with just one person for the rest of their lives. They cheat until the cows come home. There is nothing anyone can do to change them unless they make a conscious effort to change.
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CAN A RELATIONSHIP SURVIVE AFTER CHEATING?
This will be the topic of discourse on the discord server and the comments of people may just be the subject on relationship talk with Zizy on the next episode of saturday night with Zizy. I would love us to learn from what the intelligent minds have to say about this topic. How about joining us tonight by 8pm or better still watch out for this space next week as the drama unfolds.
DATING TIPS
LISTEN!!! It may sound obvious but when you really allow yourself to listen and ask questions about what your partner says, it not only leads to a better conversation but a better communication.
FUN CORNER (JUST FOR LAUGHS)
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I am waiting for when my boyfriend's mother would call me and ask me to take this 2 million naira and leave his son alone. Does it happen only in movies?
DEAR ZIZY
ANONYMOUS 1
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Hello, good morning. Please I need help with my issue For two years now I've not been in a relationship.
This not because I don't have men asking me out. I have lots of them. I'm a beautiful working class lady in her early thirties and I'm a good cook and when it comes to sex too I'm wonderful but I just decided to live a holy life since two years dedicating my life to God praying for a husband but none is forth coming and nowadays I'm so horny.Usually I masturbate and I feel better but that doesn't seem to be working anymore. Please I don't want to have sex. I've dedicated so much and I'm looking for a man that is serious and ready to settle down. I'll be in the comments. How do I stop my horninness? Please hide my identity.
ANONYMOUS 2
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Please help. I'm in a dilemma. I have two men in my life who are currently asking for my hand in marriage. One is very caring but he is living with his family and brother. He puts them before me and whenever I ask if we will move out when we get married, he feels offensive. He is the sole runner of his family. The second guy is not too caring, his family is independent of him and they threat me like a queen. Please, which of them should I say yes to? Help.
CONCLUSION
If you love this show and want to support, your SBDs and Steem are very welcomed. Supporters so far are @eurogee, @amec and @samminator @sammest and @smyle. Thanks a lot guys.
I hate to leave you but leave you I must. Until next time when I come your way again, same time, same blog, more hosts, I remain
Yours truly
@zizymena.
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Hope you are feeling better nao zizi ,well cheating to me is a terrible thing in a relationship and can break a relationship if care is not taken,well both men and women cheat, so the same way cheating is found in man,so also cheating is common in women a relationship can still work after a partner is caught cheating thou its going to be hard,and trust will surely becomes an issues again,the best thing is trying not to cheat on your spouse,if your spouse is doing what you dont like call him and talk to him or her or if you are not interested again,kindly move but pls cheating should not be an option
Any 1: masturbation is a very bad disease and its worst when someone is addicted to it,let me tell you the truth,marriage wont stop you from mastubating,if you think when you get married you will stop masturbating,that is a big lie dear,you wont because when your husband is not around or travelled you will still mastubate,mastubating is just like an evil spirit and does not know if you are married or not,so the first step is to seek help on matubation,stop it now before it ruin you,even to God its a big sin. you are asking God for a favour and you are still masturbating,dont you think its one of the reason no one is asking you out,stop masturbating pray harder and your husband will surely come,the way you describe yourself seems you are a good lady,again dont marry because you want to start having sex,marry because you want to not because of sex because once you are tired of having sex,the love you have for him will fade away,its quite normal to feel horny,you are not the only one going thru this so keep calm,feeling horny is not bad but letting that feelings get over you,that is the problem,when you are feeling horny
weldone,you have tried,just keep waiting even thou its had when you have had sex before,pray and before you know it your man is on the way.
Dress fine always,you dont have to woo any man,but you should have least have a crush,dress fine to work,go out with friends
Any 2: I think both guys are not the best for you,why limiting yourself to those two guys when you can get someone better than them,he puts his family before you,he will always do it even when you get married to him,and then it might become unberable to you,the other one is not too caring,seems you like a very caring guy,this one is still better some guys are just that way,they meant no harm but they are just not the caring type,call him and talk to me and see if he improves,if not its better you take chillpills
Oh wow ,👏👏👏👏👏 nice one @switmag. You blew me away with your response. It's a pity I'm not strong enough to drop a long comment but I love your input especially to onymous 1. Masturbation is indeed a spirit and once addicted it is hard to cure. As always for being the first to attend to the anonymous you have won yourself 0.3sbd
Awwwww
I love your input
thanks dear
Wow, you said it all sis👏👏
Hardluck @zizymena wishing you strength and a quick recovery. I can't talk on your today's topic@cheating, that one is more than my power. straight to advice
Anonymous 1: Urges are part of your human nature, so I wonder how on Earth you are gonna live without them. Paul in the Bible said if you can't control yourself marry and since you confirmed men ask you out, believe in one and try him out with a condition you want to get married within a short interval ,though this kind of plot is risky. And for ways to control yourself , sister it's a personal decision to make. No amount of logic will work when you truly haven't taken the decision within yourself.
Anonymous 2: I believe you know what you really want from your future husband. Write them down and use what you have written to judge the two.the one with the highest mark wins
@shemzy thanks for your wishes. First time I will see an issue more than your power or are you guilty?🤔
My dear urges or let me say burning with passion is not so easy especially when you have tasted the forbidden fruit before and at her age? Hmmm. Why is it hard to find men who do not want sex in a relationship?
Am not really guilty about cheating,no matter how much I try to do it,it doesn't work for me. I know the amount of liver I gathered just to talk to this one. So the liver to talk to another is no more.lolz.
Aside urges ,Culture has made us belief sex is chemistry.
Culture has taught us lots of wrong things
Great piece @zizymena, Sorry about your health, I'm sure you will be stronger soon.
Yes! everyone has their own definition of cheating. Cheating to me is not only when your partner have sex with another but also when lies and arcanum start setting in. From my observations, men tends to cheat more with their annoying believe that they are naturally polygamous.
Okay I just learnt a new word, arcanum I will have to check that out. Some men do believe they are polygamous in nature but does that in anyway prove that they cheat more than women? I would love facts if you can please @innocentshikena
@zizymena, Well from what i have seen and read,men cheat more than women both in relationships and in marriage.
They cheat because dey see it as being normal.
They cheat because they feel they are entitled to.
They cheat for fun.
They cheat because They feel they shouldn't eat one soup everyday.
But women hardly cheat because they feel more guilt than men when it comes to infedelity.
Anyone that does is either cheating for material gains or because the side man is doing something the main man isn't doing right that she likes.
Women cheat for gains while men cheat because they feel it's normal for them and not necessarily for gains
Okay well you have made your points but opinion sampled by me shows that women cheat more than men nowadays @innocentshekinah. Thanks again for coming to the show. Ill surely send you a token
Here... @zizymena is here again. Interesting topics for tonight.
Cheating cheating cheating!!! In my opinion, women tend to cheat more than men and also have tend to share stronger bonds with whoever they cheat with when compared to the men.
Can a relationship survive after cheating? my answer will be yes. A relationship can survive after an incident of cheating is uncovered, but this largely depends on those involved. Our approach to issues differ. But it will take a forgiving spirit, love and discipline for that relationship to work after such an ordeal.
ANONYMOUS 1
Masturbation is certainly not a cure for sexual urge. It's a short term solution for a long term problem. Since you have decided to abstain from sex then you should abstain from all forms of sexual activities including masturbation. You should ask for the help of the Holy Spirit and discuss with people who you know can help handle this issue.
God is your strength...
@zizymena thanks for putting the show together.. Do have a wonderful weekend and get well soon.
Thank you so much @korexe for your beautiful input once again. Hmm! Forgive you say? It's easy to forgive bit hard to forget. The scar Wil remain after the wounds are healed. Do you think the partner cheated on will ever trust wholeheartedly?
Yes forgive. Forgetting is almost impossible. The hardest part is forgiving. When we truly forgive, the pain disappears over time.
And yes a partner can trust wholeheartedly again. It may take time and work but it can be done. The cheating partner also has to show signs of repentance and make sure it doesn't happen again
Exactly. The cheating partner has so much work to do to build the trust of his or her partner back again. The willingness from his side will help the partner cheated on forget over time.
@zizymena thanks for bringing another wonderful episode of your great program, am happy your definition of cheating was a neutral one. Most ladies believe that cheating is in men's blood without asking if men cheat with fellow men. I believe cheating is an individual thing and shouldn't be tagged to anyone or sex.
On the 2 Million bribe, I will certainly collect the money and inform my girl about it with a plan to resurface after I have invested it. Let her mother pay again it's a business na 😁
Anonymous corner should wait let me go and eat Abeg.
Hahahahaha bad guy. You think your babe will forgive you for accepting money over her? Oya go and eat I am waiting for you @dubem-eu. You know i always love your anonymous corner inputs. I'm still waiting for @jeline and @vheobong
Not like I accepted money over her, it's under 'arrangee format' she will get share of the loot and our relationship will grow stronger secretly till I reappear to demand for another settlement
Hehehehe igbo man
Oh my, procrastination is not a good thing at all, I am two days late.
@vheobong was painting her nails, so that she can type well.
Hi Zizy,
Sorry about your health, hope you had the cucumber solution.
Beautiful lecture on this episode, and beautiful comments too. I came to read comments, @vheobong's just off me.
Relationship ish don taya me jare.
Happy new week dear, SNWZ is refreshing...
interesting topic...
Anonymous 1---you are the one sending all your potential husband away na, you said you have guys disturbing you but you don't want them, you want husband, who knows maybe one of them is your husband, and the issue of masturbation, once you like doing something too much, you become addicted to it.. Stop watching porno, stop thinking about sex too much and try your best as possible to always stay around people, I sha know you can't be masturbating in front of people.
Anonymous too.... I don't get your question well.... The first guy living with his family, is he capable of taking good care of you, I mean is he financially OK? Why am I asking Sef, I am confused, don't know what to say
😁😁😁😁😁 you have a way of always making me laugh @burlarj. She is not dating because the men want sex and she doesn't want to have sex that's why she is masturbate.
For the two million naira matter. I will tell my Bae first, she is in the best position to lead me on
And if your babe says don't collect the money, let's run away nko?
Lol, run away from her mother or from the money or from my family? Impossicant, the truth is I will make her want me to accept the two million, we will celebrate her mother foolishness.... with the two million naira..
Chai! @burlarj
Hello @zizymena, My week was beautiful, good to know that you are feeling better now. Interesting topic for today... Here are my thoughts on it...
According to this definition , women cheat more. When a man has sex with a lady, it's mostly mechanical(physical), there's usually no emotions attached but when a lady decide to sleep with another man , most of the time emotions are involved.
For the Ladies , when a man has sex with another lady, they consider that as cheating whereas for the men it's just sex.
If this can be resolved between both partners,yes the relationship can survive.
Now when emotions are involved, this is quite difficult. Emotions do not develop in a day. It began on a certain day. Now when this emotion lingers or rather grows to the point where you are led to cheat on your partner then this is a problem.
First of all, do not give up so fast. Try and dig down to the root of how it all started. How and why did you develop emotions for the other person? What was lacking all of the sudden in your current relationship?
Having done this and fully analyzed the problems, then you can determine if the relationship can still survive or you best just move on.
Okay...My hands are aching already 😁. I shall contribute to anonymous questions later. I'm on the move at the moment actually.
Hehehehe thanks a lot @mizdais. I'll wait for your advise to the anonymous writers but before then I will like to ask you a personal question, will you stay with a partner who just cheated on you?
Oh yes i will honey as long as he's willing and honestly ready to amend things. Will there be trust issues? This might arise. I'll just have to allow my forgiving spirit over shadow this.
Like I earlier said, analyze the problem if you think you guys can fix things up , Fantastic! If not(perhaps one party is no longer interested in the relationship anymore because feelings changed) then just move on.
These days, marriage is seen as a necessity not because of love but you sound like someone that doesn't see marriage as a necessity . Man 2 might improve if you table the matter before him m, that's if you've not done so before but if not. Please walk away, a man who would check 80% of your boxes would come your way.
Thank you so much @mzdais for coming back to give this applauaible pieces of advise. Youve won yiurself 0.3sbd. Keep being a lover of the show. Kisses!
Awwwwwww... Thank you so much @zizymena.
I look forward to your shows ever since i found it. Thank you!
I have to say, many confused "notions" of what sexuality and morality are here.
Feeling guilty or disturbed about having a NORMAL HEALTHY sex drive is unhealthy folks!!!
This word "cheating", I think it's shallow. It has no depth and does not consider cultural norms and open relationships, it considers nothing but the woman's point of view mostly, in my mind.
I don't like it when a woman I am in a relationship with, does things behind my back and lies to me. That I do not appreciate, but I won't break up over it, certainly. I consider this problem "repairable".
But MOST women in my experience, do not feel this way in return..
Giving your life to GOD is one thing, giving up your normal sexual drive, feeling uncomfortable for being a healthy human, is quite another...
Lying and doing things behind your partner's back may be repairable but I don't think it is so when it becomes a normal thing or an habit. We should know when to cross the line and say enough is enough.
You know, I kept reading through the comments wondering if I should respond or not. I felt like I would be the odd one here until I read your comment.
Lemme share my thoughts in a fresh thread